View Full Version : Boyfriend has a big one and it hurts sometimes

05-14-2003, 08:14 PM
Hi :fishy My boyfriend has a big penis. I mean I :love the size and the motion of loving making with him. However, it hurts sometimes because he is so big and I am kinda small .. I was wondering how I can tell him without hurting his feelings.. I know this is weird but I wonder what would be a gracious way to put it??

Sweet Sangria
05-14-2003, 10:22 PM

I've had this problem with many guys. If I hadn't had sex in awhile, and I just started dating the guy, I would usually end up really sore. So sore that I couldn't walk and that I thought it was an infection. :cry It would really burn and swell up. And it would take like three days before the swelling and burning would go away.

I finally went to a doctor about this, and she said it was not an infection. She said it was just inflamed and irritated, and that some women were just very sensitive. She recommended using KY lubricant. And a lot of it. This really does work-- no matter how big he is.:grin

Now for the hard part: how to ask him to use the KY!!!:spinny In the past, I have just said: "I'm actually really sensitive down there. And I enjoy having sex with you, but sometimes it hurts a little. My doctor recommends KY lubricant. Have you ever tried it?" The guys I have used it with have always ended up REALLY liking it!!!! :supergrin

Good luck!:clover

:love Sweet Sangria

05-14-2003, 10:35 PM

Sweet Sangria really gave you some wonderful advice! Remember, a baby can come out down there, and really, no penis is ever going to be that big! :muhaha

You should check with your own doctor/gynecologist just to be sure that nothing else is going on, but SS's suggestions sound right-on. There's a lot of good lubricants on the market too. Just be careful! If you are using condoms you want to make sure the lubricant you buy in water-based! (Oil based will destroy latex.) KY is water-based. So is AstroGlide (which is much better!). Also, avoid the flavored ones with sugar for intercourse because they can contribute to yeast infections for you. Some of the new Silicone based lubricants are great and condom-safe (a popular brand is called Eros). And most guys do enjoy them.

It may seem like a tough subject to approach with your boyfriend, but remember, you are being intimate with him! If you can do it, you can talk about it :winky -- just be honest so it can be as enjoyable as possible for both of you!

Take care of YOU

05-15-2003, 01:47 AM
:love :hugon sylphlover :hugoff :love

ummm, i have had the same problem. i was embarrassed telling him, but he was actually very flattered! :muhaha

astroglide is a miracle too :winky

05-15-2003, 05:37 AM
I'd agree with using lube, it can actually feel really good! :sly He should like it, plus, like the others said, he is gonna feel flattered "hey sir, your willy is soooo big" kind thing :sarcasm

I didn't know about the sugar thing contributing to yeast infections... I was gonna suggest maybe trying a flavoured one, watch out for the sugar though, gah, I didn't know that! I used to have a nice toffee one, it makes it interesting if nothing else!

As for a gracious way to put it... "I love you, and I really enjoy sex with you, it's brilliant, but you are very well endowed and it is sometimes a little painful for me, do you think we could try using a lubricant? It could make for a great new sensation for you too." :shy

He should feel flattered about being told he's big, plus like you said the sex is good, and of cause, the guy loves you, he's going to want to do anything he can to make sex the most enjoyable he can for both you and him.

Obviously, get checked out too. There are a number of condition that can make sex painful.

There's also a cream that's kinda painkilling and soothing, I can't think of the name, but it's widely sold with feminine hygene products... it's to treat a condition which makes sex painful. It beings with an R, not very helpful I know :ohboy

Good :clover!

05-15-2003, 07:32 PM
Just tell him...
It will be a compliment, not an insult. You won't hurt his feelings at all... :clover

Just tell him to be gentle... :happy

05-15-2003, 07:40 PM
Gheez.. :umm First let me clarify myself.. The part that hurts is the hard thrusting motion :sly !! I mean I :love to be thrusted upon :muhaha However, sometimes the thrusts are too hard. OK now for the fun stuff.. :winky

:rainbow Sweet Sangria :rainbow

Yes, we have just tried the KY.. It is awesome :winky Thanks for sharing what worked and works for you.

:rainbow Amy :rainbow

I will check with my OB!! But some how it is easier to talk about on here...gosh ya can't see how red my face is.. but I will go :winky

Remember, a baby can come out down there, and really, no penis is ever going to be that big!

Now that is way too funny :muhaha

Oh oil based will destroy the latex.. I did NOT know that. Thanx for that tidbit.. However, does that mean I may get preg?? I would :love that.. However, he is NOT ready yet.. :ummm

Eros.. :sly I will have to go shopping ASAP.. I actually :love the nature without condoms.. However, I don't like the pill and unfortunately like I said.. he does not want to take any chances. However, we do make :love for a while before he puts one on.. though he has self-control before allowing those sperm to come out.. :winky

Astro guide.. I actually have. When I was IP for alcohol treatment. The man who came to talk about AIDs. gave us all samples. and even with my X.. who had an extremely small penis.. It made the :love making.. somewhat enjoyable. But my boyfriend does :love the glide :sly

:rainbow Feak :rainbow
:rainbow Toast :rainbow
"hey sir, your willy is soooo big" kind thing Gheez you all are cracking me up :muhaha He is pretty darn proud of it..!!! :touchedbut he was actually very flattered!

Wow we have the power to make men feel really manly huh??? :winky

I am kind of afraid of the flavored stuff becuz of all Amy said.. G-d knows I don't need to be itching down there :winky

Thanks for the suggestions..

So now what about the thrusting problem???

05-15-2003, 07:45 PM
Sorry :rainbow pepnchar :rainbow

U must of piped in while I was responding..

Just tell him.. Wow easier said then done :ugh

05-16-2003, 05:16 AM
"Hun don't thrust so hard"! "I'm a little sensitive, I mean, hello! Sensitive area! Treat with caution!" "Can we slow it down a bit, please, I mean, less hard" "Let's make some lurve for a change"

Seriously dude, tell him! Be open with him about it, say that it doesn't feel so good. Give the guy some guidance here! Think about it, it may be embarrissing but it could well lead to some great sex in the end! Like I said before, I'm sure he justs wants to do things that make you feel good, tell him, be gentle a little. Say what you told us, that you love the sex but sometimes it hurts. He'll only want to help you out!

05-16-2003, 10:59 AM
hi Sylphlover...

"However, we do make love for a while before he puts one on.. though he has self-control before allowing those sperm to come out.."

My husband and I got pregnant when we were doing the same thing as you are doing. We made the decision not to have a baby - at that time we had only been going out for a few months - and altho we don't regret our decision, it was a difficult and emotionally painful situation for both of us.

ok - there are between eighty and one-hundred million sperm in one "average" ejaculation. ALL MEN - even superman - lose a few hundred thousand of those slippery little sperms while having intercourse BEFORE COMING! ( it's called pre-come and it is usually not noticable by either party...). It is not about control. It just happens naturally.

HOWEVER, it just takes one of those little devils to make a baby. Just one.

If you and your boyfriend are not mutually ready to have a child (you said you were ready but he wasn't) or deal with the consequences of a pregnancy, then I REALLY suggest you use a condom anytime you have intercourse, or anytime your boyfriend's penis is even playing around down there ( we call that outer-course).

I know that this wasn't your original point, but I want to save you some heartbreak...

I also wanted to mention that if you experiment with positions then you will find there are ways to get around the "thrusting" problem... I suggest a female on top type position - you will have more control of how deep he goes... get a good book (perhaps an illustrated Kama Sutra) might make things fun whiole you are trying out different positions. there is a GREAT illustrated Kama Sutra website (this is NOT a pornography website) -- the web address is:


Have fun - but be safe!


- Marsh

05-17-2003, 01:09 AM
:love :hugon sylphlover :hugoff :love

tell him when he is doing something that feels really good. he probably wants to please you (if he doesn't, dump him, you deserve better) and will learn by positive reinforcement :winky . men, like dogs, need to be told when they're being a good boy. :sarcasm

05-17-2003, 07:04 AM
I totally agree with :hugonmarshmello:hugoff

05-19-2003, 06:39 PM
:hugon sylphlover :hugoff

You gotta use birth control if BOTH of you aren't ready for parenthood! (Besides, kids need good Daddies!)

There are lots of birth control methods out there. Check out http://www.birthcontrol.com

As for the thrusting part, taking it slow at first might help. Marsh's book suggestion was a good onem too. :winky

Remember... communication outside the bedroom carries over to communication inside the bedroom. :muhaha

05-20-2003, 08:56 PM
:hugon sylphlover :hugoff

just following up on a question you asked in your second post:
Oh oil based will destroy the latex.. I did NOT know that. Thanx for that tidbit.. However, does that mean I may get preg?? I would :love that.. However, he is NOT ready yet..

yeap, that's the truth. which is why it's recommended that you use KY or Astroglide or some similar lubricant (oil based, often says something about being condom-safe on the label)with condoms, instead of baby oil or Vaseline or stuff like that.

05-23-2003, 10:29 PM
First of all thanks to everyone who shared something with me. The thrusting is not as hard lately... And it is more enjoyable :winky

:hugon outspoken_poet :hugoff

OK now I know that the Astroglide is the way to go.. That stuff is pretty dang awesome :

:hugon luckynerd :hugoff

Thanks for the URL.. Yes, I know he isn't ready.. I have a feeling that if he can never get ready.. Then I will be finding someone else because I really really want kids!!

I really like this quote you wrote "Remember... communication outside the bedroom carries over to communication inside the bedroom." Amen sister :sugergrin

:hugon PoetBallerina :hugoff

I agree as well :winky

:hugon toast :hugoff

That is funny the good boy thing :muhaha Actually he does want to please me. In that way he is a grreeeaatttt lover :winky

:hugon marshmello :hugoff

Glad you :love your miracle from this experience!!

:hugon THE SCIENCE PART :hugoff
pre-come.. :ummm I was wondering about that stuff??

"HOWEVER, it just takes one of those little devils to make a baby. Just one." Little devils that is :muhaha

Yes we are using the stupid condoms.. I hate them even though we even have ones for "her pleasure" I just hat the stupid things. It is so unnatural :ugh

Thanks for the book suggestion and URL I will check it out once I catch up on the :bowl.web address is:

:hugon Feak :hugoff

OK I will be serious and tell him. It is so :muhaha the way you wrote it though!!