doing well...or not

[MCangel]

Hey :fishys,
Lately I've been giving myself major pats on the back for doing well w/ my ED. I haven't b/ped in what seems like FOREVER! But as I was responding to the check in post that rosemari started, I realized, maybe I'm not doing as well as I thought. Maybe I'm not b/ping but I'm not actually dealing with any of my food issues. I realized that I'm just finding other things to hide behind. I've noticed that I do this a lot. I think everything's better b/c the behaviors stop but I never deal w/ what's causing the behavior. Then it's only a matter of time before it comes back and every time it does, it's worse than it was before. I can see the cycle I go through yet I don't know what to do to stop it. I don't know what it is that's causing my b/ping so how do I know how to deal w/ it. My counselor hasn't been helpful at all. I just want to break this cycle and I don't know how. Any advice??
Thanks :fishys

MC:angel

[afallenangel]

MC :angel


:yay for not b/p ing for so long. You say you are hiding behind other things thoguh. You realize you are doing it that is the first steo in the right direction , but now you have to find other coping methods other than things you can hide behind. What are some things you can think of that you can do?? What do you enjoy doing?

Another issue is your counselor. If he/she isn't helping you than maybe it's time to find someone who will help you. I don't mean to be harsh but you need and deserve help and if this particular counselor isn't giving you the help you need than it may be time to move on to someone else.


Good :clover

[Karn]

(((((Mcangel)))))

You know hon I think you are being too hard on yourself. Yes you have to deal with the issues behind the ED, but that doesn't mean you should downplay your victory against ED.

I have every faith in my counselor and she says first I have to get control of my b/ping, then start eating a normal (whatever that is) meal plan, then we will work on the issues.

Now, you may really not feel like your counselor is the one for you-that's an individual choice, but don't downplay your victories. You should be proud!!!

[Pella]

:hugonMCangle:hugoff
Have patience and be encouraged that you are heading down the right path in that you are getting control over the b/ping. That is a major step and time has a way of bringing things/issues to the forefront when you're ready to deal with them.

When I began recovery I centered all my energy into remaining b/p free. For me it was a struggle every day to do that in the beginning after being bulimic for twenty years. Then over time...feelings began to emerge and it was like I was literally forced to deal with them.
Books/explanations were a big help. Getting involved here and confiding in trusted friends was a major catalyst. There is so much strength in truth and I had been avoiding it.

If you feel this particular counselor isn't helpful...is there a way you can find another? If you can be totally honest and tell them about your cycles, perhaps the right counselor could help shed some light? Remember, you have a right to your feelings and the truth of your experiences. Keep your sights set on the rewards to be gained, and even if you don't know what they are just now..............
If you keep connected here and pushing through......there will be that pay off of self-awareness.
Love beth :love