vision
04-08-2003, 04:21 PM
Hi fishies...
With each breakthrough/lesson I gain, whether big or small, there are always accompanying feelings that I need to make sure I acknowledge. I've also noticed that my body tends to express wisdom to me that I sometimes overlook.
Today, I feel like I've been run over by a semi-truck.
I have a headache; dull headaches are becoming an everyday, constant thing. I'm guessing that these headaches are tension headaches, or a tightness resulting from such heavy emotional work I've done in the past month or so. Still, they're no fun!
My hands are cold and nothing is making them warm up, not even holding a warm cup of tea. It's sunny and mildly warm outside, so I've spent some time getting some air. The sun feels good, but not quite warm enough to be fully comforting.
My body aches. This is the kind of achy that's a combination of intense exercise and when you're sick. Sitting and studying is difficult today, because I just can't get comfortable.
Sounds are unusually loud and I have a slight sensitivity to light. I know these are commonly seen in people who have migraines, but I'm not suffering from pain anywhere near that intense.
Chills keep running through my body. I'm wearing layers of clothes, enough to keep me from getting cold. I'm not getting sick; I'm just feeling run-down from dealing with my inner child yesterday.
Oh, and more childhood memories are surfacing. They all have a common sexual theme and are situations where as a child, I felt incredibly uncomfortable in them. I know I have to take a good look and figure out what I'm supposed to learn from these memories, but just having them resurface is knocking me off my feet.
It's important to me that I start being mindful of where I am in the present moment. So much of my mind has fluttered between the past and the future, and I tend to forget about the here and now. So, I'm taking a break from schoolwork to post here and become aware of what my body is telling me.
Sometimes it's hard to find a way to incorporate being gentle with myself into everyday life. I'm at school, not at home where I can crawl into my bed and sleep. There are pressing homework assignments and a test I have to study for, and if I want to continue earning straight A's I have to stay on top of the material. One thing I am grateful for is that I'm not working (I can't believe I'm saying this). Being unemployed has given me so much more time to focus on recovery and school, and it's worth the financial struggles.
Anyway, I just needed to do something to acknowledge how I feel today. I'm going to get another cup of hot cocoa; my inner child finds it hits the spot when she's feeling small. My adult self also enjoys the tasty liquid chocolate! :grin
Take care everyone,
Zorahgail.
With each breakthrough/lesson I gain, whether big or small, there are always accompanying feelings that I need to make sure I acknowledge. I've also noticed that my body tends to express wisdom to me that I sometimes overlook.
Today, I feel like I've been run over by a semi-truck.
I have a headache; dull headaches are becoming an everyday, constant thing. I'm guessing that these headaches are tension headaches, or a tightness resulting from such heavy emotional work I've done in the past month or so. Still, they're no fun!
My hands are cold and nothing is making them warm up, not even holding a warm cup of tea. It's sunny and mildly warm outside, so I've spent some time getting some air. The sun feels good, but not quite warm enough to be fully comforting.
My body aches. This is the kind of achy that's a combination of intense exercise and when you're sick. Sitting and studying is difficult today, because I just can't get comfortable.
Sounds are unusually loud and I have a slight sensitivity to light. I know these are commonly seen in people who have migraines, but I'm not suffering from pain anywhere near that intense.
Chills keep running through my body. I'm wearing layers of clothes, enough to keep me from getting cold. I'm not getting sick; I'm just feeling run-down from dealing with my inner child yesterday.
Oh, and more childhood memories are surfacing. They all have a common sexual theme and are situations where as a child, I felt incredibly uncomfortable in them. I know I have to take a good look and figure out what I'm supposed to learn from these memories, but just having them resurface is knocking me off my feet.
It's important to me that I start being mindful of where I am in the present moment. So much of my mind has fluttered between the past and the future, and I tend to forget about the here and now. So, I'm taking a break from schoolwork to post here and become aware of what my body is telling me.
Sometimes it's hard to find a way to incorporate being gentle with myself into everyday life. I'm at school, not at home where I can crawl into my bed and sleep. There are pressing homework assignments and a test I have to study for, and if I want to continue earning straight A's I have to stay on top of the material. One thing I am grateful for is that I'm not working (I can't believe I'm saying this). Being unemployed has given me so much more time to focus on recovery and school, and it's worth the financial struggles.
Anyway, I just needed to do something to acknowledge how I feel today. I'm going to get another cup of hot cocoa; my inner child finds it hits the spot when she's feeling small. My adult self also enjoys the tasty liquid chocolate! :grin
Take care everyone,
Zorahgail.