Recalled to Life ( a poem) and I feel selfish

[LilThought]

Hi fishies,
I realize I post my poems here all the time and I feel very selfish. I feel like I am taking up space by posting my writings. I feel quiete embarassed and ashamed now about it. This has nothing to do with any other stuff addressed, I just feel bad and maybe need to not post them as much. Soon as I write something, I just want the fishies to be the first to see how Im feeling. I dont know what to say. I just feel selfish, and it isnt that I even think my writing is any good because by all means "I" think it is below amateur, I just feel ashamed right now. So I will post this poem for now, but in the future, not post as much as I do.

Recalled to Life

in a room
my story was told
by a room
this meandering narrator
I recalled to life—
viva la vida
lived this room
breathed this room
eclipsed this room
this heist
in this room
I recalled to life—
scrutiny to mutiny
no barriers, no borders
walls were torn to pieces
all precincts were obsolete
an archaic fashion sense
squealed in terror
in a room within a room
the words weren’t read

in a room
earthquakes quaked
ceilings faltered
windows walked on water
only in this room
books emptied
language trembled
expression died
teller had naught to tell
by manuscript or by verse
this incessant room
I recalled to life—
with my joie de vivre
my throne of scholars
this room of sanction
secrets swelled
thoughts echoed
voices craved
redemption
this room recalled to life.

JLM

[jenya]

:hugon Lilthought :hugoff

It sounds like you are in a very painful spot... my personal experience of feeling very much ashamed for existing/taking up space while also desperate for some sort of connection I have found excuriatingly painful. Desiring connection is not selfish. Being is not selfish. Wanting is not selfish. Longing is not selfish. Emotions are not selflish. Writing is not selfish and neither is your posting your poetry. I personally feel honored to be able to read your poems and admire the thoughtfullness and beauty you bring to your honest struggle to live with all that living entails. If you need to keep your poems to yourself for the purpose of protection or to let them wander with only you before you share them... if your need to not post them is a healthy act of privacy or space or something, then by all means go for it. But please, question yourself if you are hiding your poems how of reasons that keep you down and alone and dying.

Again, I am honored to read your poetry and look for each new poem of yours when I come to the boards. I can not always reply... but please know I read them with interest and openess and admiration both for your gift of words and the courage it take to write and share them.

Take care of yourself.... :love

fondly,

jenya :turtle

[Catherose]

:hugonLilthought:hugoff

You can post as many poems as you want here! None of us are forced to read them. You're not being selfish. This forum gets less traffic than many of the others... you're not taking attention away from anyone else. People come here to read poems, and since there aren't even that many :fishys that posts poems I think you should feel entitled to post as many as you want. I mean it. I would call a person selfish if they constantly asked for support and never offered it. YOU, however, are sharing your thoughts with us. You DO respond to other people's posts. You're using this forum just as it was meant to be used. Please don't feel selfish!

:hugonJamie:hugoff

Don't get discouraged.:gimmehug

:loveCatherine