Daady/hitler

[bezzelrock]

Daddy Daddy, i want to be like you
Daddy Daddy, let me play with you

Daddy Daddy, i want to make you proud
Daddy Daddy, sing my praises aloud

Daddy Daddy, you laugh at mummy
Daddy Daddy, tell me why it's funny

Daddy Daddy, why do you shout at me?
Daddy Daddy, I'm trying to make you happy

Daddy Daddy, why you never here?
Daddy Daddy, stop drinking the beer

daddy daddy,i'm older now
daddy daddy, you're love i won't allow

boss, controller, you wrecked my life
chief, dictator, you abused your wife

liar, hypocrite, i was confused as i grew
bastard, cheat, don't let me be you.

[Penny Lane]

I hope you've read Plath's poem "Daddy." Where are the images? Where are the new, clever ideas? Where is the juxtaposition that makes poetry so awesome!??!?!?!?

removed by admin
critique not asked for

[divagirl]

bezzelrock:love

Hey - I think you did a good job w/ this. While it is somewhat similar to Plath's "Daddy"(which if you haven't read, I bet you would really resonate with) I really like what you did with it. You're expressing the confusion between love and hatred of a father and it's a cruel twist that occurs in your poem as the attitude changes. It really gets the point across... and I'm sorry you've gone through such pain. :sad

Keep writing hon!
love, amy

[LilThought]

I really think your poem is quite expressive and "it" is quite original to you. The topic of one's father can be addressed in many ways and I think you have done it the best way your heart has given you. I really really like this poem and would deeply be pleased to see more of your writing.
Jamie

[Feak]

I love this poem. I do not share your experiences, but I'm sure there are many :fishy who do and who will relate to this so much.

I'm so glad that you have a medium to express your feelings, and expecially one in which you posess as speacial talent!

Please keep posting here, I'll look forward to reading more from you :shy

:love Claire