Paper Doll (a poem)

[LilThought]

Paper Doll

i made a doll
out of the thinnest
piece of paper
i could find

i traced her in the wind
the lightest essence of a breeze
one gentle song of life

full of emergence

she was all too
fragile and frail
to touch, caress, embrace

her wavy hair
her soft skin
her agile form

i will not pollute her

with the vileness of my fingertips,
my rooftops, my fireplace ablaze

my delicate little doll
flimsy and weak
darling duckling

she was
like a precious stone
like a feathered pillow
like a shining star
like a clear blue sea

my new born child
my blooming flower
my paper doll

she was until i cried
defilement

poisoned tears

acid raindrops

venomous spit

in my hands
that beautiful doll of mine
crumbled and burned

it was as if time broke free
for a million eras
and then a million more

i made a paper doll
she was mine
ash, soot, and dust

she was
my only paper doll

JLM

[Catherose]

:hugonLilThought:hugoff

:yay:yay:yayAwesome!

I am VERY impressed with your writing! I can't say it enough.:supergrin

Keep it up girl, you're talented!

:loveCatherine

[Penny Lane]

From a strictly writing based perspective...
cliche. lacking creative images....keep working hun...
removed by admin - critique not asked for

[divagirl]

:hugon :hugon JLM :hugoff :hugoff

This is a beautiful poem :butterfly- you use some really great words in here. I especially like "lightest essence of a breeze", "vileness of my fingertips", "crumbled and burned"... It's good. Really good. Keep on, hon...:stars

love, amy

[Feak]

Beautiful writing style! Well done :shy

[PhoenixRising]

Wow. This is really good. I totally got something out of it too. I hear you.

[KatherineK]

:hugon lilthought :hugoff

wow that was amazing! :love it :yay very impressive :happy