A scary realisation

[ShootingSTARS]

For years I have pondered and for years I have troubled
Over anything. Everything.
I am sick and tired of all this grief.
And then I sit back and reflect on all the wrongs in my life
And it scares me
As I realise that most of the bad things
Have been caused by me
You feel wronged, you feel hard done by, you feel sad and miserable and low.
And then, you look back, reflecting, and realise it is you.
The world isn’t the problem
It has been you.
You are what is wrong
Everything you do equates to wrong
Everything that you do equates to hurt
Self inflicted pain and self inflicted hurt
And suddenly you want to snap out of it
Yet you can’t
You’ve done it for too long
And now you realise what you’ve done
And wish that you hadn’t
You regret and you fret over all the things
And you get worse and worse
Knowing what you did, knowing what you’ll do.
It troubles you to think
That this was preventable
By the most important person in your life
Who sat back and did absolutely nothing
And you look in the mirror and you are staring that person in the face
It is you
And you are eternally sorry for what you’ve done
For nothing will ever change what has gone before.