On Falling - a poem, or perhaps just thoughts

[divagirl]

This is a terrible poem so I'm hesitant to label it as such - I've just been so freaked out by words lately that this is my first attempt in awhile to smush thoughts into my computer



Ideally
I would just fall
no warning
no
"reaching out"
or defining
putting into words
my feelings
they are so confined
that way.


Would a quick drop prove
to be more successful
?
Would I win then?
or lose?


I am so
so
tired
of words, of "making sense
of this"
of fighting fighting

fighting


what if i just
fell
perhaps just for awhile
just for a break
just for a reprieve
from false
forced 'understanding'


You look at me
doctor
and I don't know what you see.
Do you laugh under your breath?
Do you think I am crazy for thinking
that I am crazy?
Is this all a joke
to you?
Do you wonder why I bother
to try so hard to make something
out of nothing?
To find some greatness or beauty
when it was never there
at all?


Fight they say - words like
"worth" and
"deserve" and
"self" ring
but today
they clang together
indecipherable
cocophony


So I consider the fall


Is it another
pathetic attempt to create a
self?
to be 'defined' by losing
instead of...

or finding truth in
being less than...?


words elude me
they dart and dodge and
mock me with their
edges, their limits


the fall seems only
natural

[LilThought]

don't be afraid to say... this is my poem and it doesn't matter if it doesnt speak to anyone else because it speaks to me! Yell it and be proud that you have expressed yourself through the power of words. I am honored to read you poem. Beautiful!
Jamie

[Catherose]

Diva-

I like reading your poems, honestly! And I don't just say that to everyone. I want to start writing but I'm scared, even if I don't plan to show it to anyone else I'm so critical of myself. I know it's silly.

What poets do you like? I've been reading some Sylvia Plath lately, Robert Hass (I'm taking class with him:supergrin), Robert Frost, Gertrude Stein, and Ezra Pound (the last three are for class- I like Frost and Stein, haven't quite "got" Pound yet). Reading John Donne last semester is what made me decide that I like poetry so much... I also LOVE Jimmy Santiago Bacca, and I think you would too based on what I've read of yours.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make this a post about ME... I was just interested in what kind of stuff you've been reading...

Keep posting your poems, and STOP APOLOGIZING!:reallymad:reallymad:reallymad

:winky:gimmehugThanks again for sharing that...

Sending :love and :gimmehugs and ENCOURAGEMENT!:yay
Catherine

[divagirl]

:hugon Jamie :hugoff - you're sweet. Thank you:shy

:hugon Catherine :hugoff - thanks for your encouragement. :touched I checked out Jimmy Santiago Bacca after you mentioned it and his stuff is very good - you were right! :stars I've been pretty swamped lately and not reading too much... I do love Sylvia Plath's stuff though, and studied quite a bit of John Donne in high school. I should get back into his poetry again.

I really appreciate your comments... :love

[Cressie]

:hugon Amy :hugoff
Haven't been swimming round these waters recently, but heck, I am glad that I did, otherwise I would never have discovered this. :happy
Truly. This is a very powerful poem



divagirl said:


Is it another
pathetic attempt to create a
self?
to be 'defined' by losing
instead of...

or finding truth in
being less than...?


words elude me
they dart and dodge and
mock me with their
edges, their limits


[/b]

This is so poignant. Identity. Blah. Where the hell does it come from hell? Its so tough existing in a reality which is essentially a mesh of words...not knowing how to break out of the entrapment of the hermenuetic circle in order to discover some innate and true essence! Language. Slippery fickle fuck. But I suppose it is all we have got!
Keep writing love.This is beautiful and true..

xxx
Cressie

[Arkali]

Your poem's a good one - and I don't say that lightly. I write poetry, too, and your style is a lot like mine. That is, I just kind of let my feelings out in fragmented thoughts - I don't really worry about rhyme and rhythm.

So cheers - good job!

[lilsweetie]

a poem is what you define it as.
I think your poem is very descriptive and like arkali, much like my style.