naomlette
07-24-2001, 10:41 PM
do i really want to be posting here? the self-esteem board, of all places....usually i feel really good about things in my life.....until they get all upset and i no longer know what to do. then i feel out of control and i want someone else to handle it. hmmmmm, i said things, didn't i? i never really look in the mirror, not all that often. i glance at my reflection when i'm out in windows and stuff, to see if i look good, like everyone says i do. sometimes i see it, other times i don't. i used to be afraid to look in the mirror, afraid to see my face because of what i saw there. i didn't believe that i deserved what was in there, because of how awful i felt. but now, i just don't know if i'm really all that pretty. everyone says i am, but if i am, where are all the boys that are supposed to be all over me? where are the dates and the ease in life that comes with being gorgeous? it's not in my life. and i can list lots of things that are good about me, but do i really believe i'm all that good? no, not really. i believe that i'm average. i want to be the best at something, to be recognized for something i can do. but i do nothing exceptionally. even my parents don't think i can do anything exceptionally. they have said so. not to hurt me, just as an observation. and when something that i consider secure does something that i don't like, i go haywire for a few days. sorry for the rambling, but i really need to know.....is this truly low self-esteem? i don't hate myself, i just feel very average. i hate posting here, i feel like i'm intruding that i'm just taking time away from you. because i don't really feel all that bad about myself. well, i would appreciate any opinons.
:angel
:angel