My promise to God

[dramadiva]

I have made a promise to God, that I will abstain until my marriage to have sex. This was due to my religion and to personal beliefs. However, one of my friends told some people, and now they are spreading rumors that I am really a slut, and just trying to hide it, or that I am a lesbian. Niether of those are true. I just feel that I would not be able to handle the pain of losing my first through a casual break up, and too many of my friends have been hurt by the guys they have slept with. Also, my aunt got pregnant at a young age, and it has been such a struggle for her. I also feel to insecure with my body to be in any sort of an intimate realtionship. Do any otehr fishies feel this way, or made this same vow? I just need some support on my decision, because I know it's right, but I want to know I'm not alone.

[comet]

:hugon Jessica :hugoff

Hello there :yay
I recognise you from another board.

I am sorry that people are spreading such horrible rumours about you.

It sounds like you have made a really important decision for yourself, and you are doing something to protect yourself, and also being true to your beliefs. That is to be commended.

Believe in your own decision.

I know what you mean about feeling too insecure about your own body to have an intimate relationship. Me too. I hope this changes one day. For both of us.

Much :love
:stars Comet :stars

[Starflower]

This is a case of rising above these people.

:hugondramadiva:hugoff

It's horrible that they are treating you this way. Be assured that it is probably through their own insecurities - possibly even jealousy.

I too made this desicion - through religious reasons, and because it makes so much sense. No STDs no unwanted pregnancy, less heartache. . . I am also uncomfortable with my body and wouldn't want to share it with just anyone. .

So yeah - I support you - stick by your desicion - I think it's the right one. You don't mention religion - but from my point of view (sorry if this is preaching) the Bible says that when two pepole sleep together they become one flesh, so that's why it hurts so much when you break up with your first because it is literally like tearing flesh apart. .


My friends know I am waiting for this and they accept my desicion. Seems like these people aren't your friends, and their opinions don't matter that much. As long as you know who you are, that's all that matters. Only you have to live with you all the time, not them.

Lots of love and care .
Sue

[star_incentive]

Jess~
I have made the same promise to God simply because he deserves my chastity. Don't you think? I guess it helps that I've never had a serious relationship, and I'm terrified of intimacy, but should I be faced with it, I still would abstain. Think of how wonderful it's going to be on your wedding night to give yourself completely to your husband, and for him to know it was him you saved yourself for. I can't think of a better gift.
:stars

[preston]

Hey, dramadive-
I totally commend you for your choice. My religion, too, calls for abstinence before marriage (Mormonism). You will get people talking but it's only because they don't have the strength and will power to make the decision you have. Deep down they probably admire you for this. I sure do.

[dramadiva]

Thank you for your kind words. Everything you all say is so true. To those of you who also made this vow, I wish you the best of luck and lots of will power to maintain it. You can do it. It will be so worth it. I hope that we can all hold on to our dignity and self respect (or what's left of it) to remain true to ourselves, and to God, who loves us more than anyone ever will. Keep in touch please!

:hugoncomet:hugoff
:hugonstarflower:hugoff
:hugonstar_incentive:hugoff
:hugonpreston:hugoff

[luby]

:hugon Jessica :hugoff

I've made the same promise to God. It's getting hard to keep this promise. I'm not dating anyone, and I'm only sixteen (almost seventeen). But I've had the same things spread around about me, other than being a slut. I'm the only kid in my class that hasn't...been drunk...done anything really with a guy..or done any type of drugs. I'm pretty much one of the only kids that has done none of those. It's kinda stuff within my self, because I don't see the sense in doing any of them. I've got some friends that are determined to get me drunk before we graduate this year, but I don't see it happening. One of my best friends and I have a deal that I won't have sex until I graduate from college, unless I find "the one" and we plan on being together for the rest of our lives. I want to save myself until I am married, but I don't know if I'm going to be able to, because...I don't know..it's going to be hard. I've gotta do it to keep building up my faith with God though.
I don't know if I have made any sense in these senseless rambling...but I hope you get the idea

[Pella]

:hugonJessica:hugoff
You have my full on support for this decision you've made to save yourself for marriage. I've made a commitment to my second virginity nine years ago. I was married at one time, but have been single for the last eighteen years. Dating has been a challenge to say the least. The Bible makes it clear that God is NOT against sex. He invented it obviously. But sex in the Bible is recognized by commitment. The commitment bond of marriage. When you go to bed with someone.....something happens that changes you at your deepest level. You are bound together....body and soul. I have friends that are hurting. Women friends that have "glued" themselves to dozens of different guys. They've become Hard with the glue and pieces of x-lovers. And they keep gluing themselves to new partners, hoping the damage will go away? After you do that enough times....it's really hard to bond to someone else for life.
Don't be afraid of what your friends say about you. Deep down they respect you; I gaurantee it! It takes a strong person to go against the grain of what society dictates. Sex is an incredible gift in the right context.....in the wrong.....it can be an incredible source of heartbreak.
Love beth :sun:love

[tad-pole]

Jessica ... I haven't read any of the replies so if I repeat anything ... I'm sorry.

First :stars let me commend you on your committment. It
will be a decision you do not regret ... EVER EVER !

second :stars It can be done. I did it!

I was married at twenty years old and still a virgin. And that is something I do not regret. Will not ever regret.

I'm telling you, I woke up the next morning and the thought hit me ...

I am no longer a virgin ... but I am JUST as innocent as I was twenty four hours ago.

There is NOTHING to compare with the promise of God and following through with His promises. The feeling I had was incredible. My sister and brother were also virgins by choice until marriage and had the same exact experience.

Also ... I went through the same rumor mill. I'm thirty six years old and the rumors are still in the back of my mind every now and then.

All I can say is ...

Stand by your morals.
Stand by the truth.
Don't dignify them with an answer.
If someone asks you point blank, say "it's not true, I'm a virgin and I will be till the day I marry"

I know it's not the easiest stand you're making. It wasn't easy in the early eighties and I imagine it's even harder now.

But ... I promise ... you will NOT regret it!

[SweetBerry]

You have made a promise to God, and that promise is between you two only. It has nothing to do with your friends. I think that it is an amazing thing to do. That promise not only will keep you safe, but it will deepen your relationship with God. You owe it to yourself to follow your heart and do what you believe in. God loves you and wants to help you with everything. He won't steer you wrong. Trust your heart. Friends who don't respect your morals and beliefs are not true friends. You deserve better than that. Take care. I'm very proud of you for making that promise.

[Starflower]

All of the responses here are fantastic, and it makes me feel good to know there are others out there.

:hugonPella:hugoff - your response was really good. You explained it so well.. . .

This desicion saves me from so much pain.

:love :love

[dramadiva]

Thank you so much all you :hugon:fishy:hugoff
who replied to my post. I greatly appreciate it, and you have inspired me to keep this promise even more. I support all of you on your commitment, and I loved hearing from the :fishys who have kept this promise and told how special it was. I feel much better, knowing that there are other beautiful people who share thsi belief. Keep in touch fishies!!! I hope to hear from more on this topic.

[silly]

wow that's an awesome promise to god. YOu really have had a lot of thought on this one. I know it's hard when people say horrible things but just believe in yourself and know that you are doing the right thing for you. take care

:canada silly :canada

[GlorytoGod]

:hugon Jessica :hugoff

I am so proud of you for making that decision. I, too, made that decision as a teenager, and I am glad that I have. Although I have made mistakes during dating and things (not all physical/sexual), I have held on to that promise. I tell you, sometimes that promise is the only thing that will hold you back. But it is certainly worth it!

I feel weird admitting this, but for awhile, not only did some of the people around me wonder if I was a lesbian (not dating, I guess?)...but I wondered for a bit. After all, I thought, if I wasn't a lesbian, wouldn't I enjoy kissing and other things? I feel uncomfortable around guys and the whole intimacy thing.

What I've come to learn, Jessica, is that God protects us. Who knows what kind of trouble I would have gotten myself into had I felt comfortable with intimacy stuff. And, in a way, I guess that is God's way of "helping" me stay pure until marriage.

Anyway, a lot of rambling, but I just wanted to let you know that a)you're not alone, and b)you're making the right decision.

Email me if you'd like!

~Becca

[SweetBerry]

Oh sweetie!

I am so proud of you for making such an amazing choice.

But don't worry about what other people say or think. In the end, it's only between you and God. God doesn't care if the other people all say that you are a slut. He cares that you made a promise to Him and that you kept your word to Him.

Be strong. God will reward you for abstaining until marriage by giving you a home in heaven one day. This is not to say that if you don't abstain, you won't go to heaven. But you will have a special spot because you made a promise to God and kept it.