"i am"

[bri]

i feel as though i am nothing. i mean nothing. i mean nothing to anyone. i mean nothing to myself. i am worth nothing. i am nothing.

i am the piece of lint on a shirt that someone flicks off
i am the ant that no one sees and that gets squished
i am the weed that gets picked and thrown away
i am the toilet paper that people clean their ass with and flush down the toilet
i am the pebble that lies among lots of big rocks
i am the animal in the shelter that everyone walks by cause its so ugly
i am the book that does not get read because people judge by the cover
i am the mat that people wipe their shoes on
i am the rotting fruit that is discarded
i am the fly that either gets caught in the spiderweb or the fly zapper and just lies there alone waiting for its doom
i am the mold on the bread that makes it unedible


there is so many more i can state, but you probably get the hint. this is not a self pity post. this is how i feel about myself. and how i feel others feel about me. i am filled with so much anger, fear anxiety and sadness right now. and i hurt. a hurt deep inside of me.it hurts so bad. and i feel so alone. so fucking alone. i just dont know what to do anymore. thanks for listening
bri

[seekinghelp]

It may feel like you are all of those things, but I doubt anyone really views you that way. I'm sure there is so much more to you. You just gotta speak up and show yourself to the world. Show them what you are made of. ( all kinds of good things, you just need to scope them out.) Sorry you feel this way.

[believeyoucan]

:challenge
what is making you feel that way?

:challenge
for every negative thing you listed, say something POSITIVE about you!

[JolieAnn]

:hugon :love :flower BRI :flower :love :hugoff

You are VERY MUCH, SOMETHING. At times, our depression will make us believe these false feelings. Everything you wrote truly stunned me.

I did NOT see your post as a "pity post". I believe that you "feel" this way. If there was a magic :wand I can put over you to make you see the truth, I would. However, we all know that it is only us who can see it.
You wrote in a previous post that if you had one magical power, it "would be to make other people see themselves how they really are." Shit, that is one damn generous wish. But, I have to say, I see you through my eyes, and I cannot begin to tell you how sad I am that you see yourself that way. It is the depression and the eating disorder that throws this at you. Please remember that..Oh, I wish I could say more.
Love Lauren