its not a poem, its a rap :P

[fighter princess]

lol, try not to laugh too hard at the idea of a twenty-four year old female grad student writing raps in her spare time!

you talk tough but its a bluff
when shit gets rough you say "enough"
you run and hide and then you cry
you just dont try- youd rather lie
act like your fine or else you whine
and make excuses- youre a nuisance
theyll see through you, never knew you
were so kuckoo- theyll say "screw you!"

chorus:

your time is running out
as your mind fills up with doubt
and you realize you cant take it
were a fool to think youd make it
its too easy to destroy you
i'll move on to someone else who'll
be a challenge for my talents
may sound callous, but it happens


youll be gone then ill move on
to the next fat girl, fuck with her world
for a while- youre a child
you cant stop it, so just drop it
itll hurt less, youre so worthless
im too frightnin so quit fightin
you cant beat me, wont defeat me
never leave me so just keep me


chorus:

your time is running out
as your mind fills up with doubt
and you realize you cant take it
were a fool to think youd make it
its too easy to destroy you
i'll move on to someone else who'll
be a challenge for my talents
may sound callous, but it happens


every pound is a disaster
you could always lose it faster
eating once is still too often
one more nail into your coffin
think youll fight it, well just try it
youre all talk it doesnt mean shit
know whos stronger? you get one guess
and remember: its your own mess
little bitches think they know me
each think theyll be first to show me
whos in charge until they learn
you play with fire, you get burned


chorus:

your time is running out
as your mind fills up with doubt
and you realize you cant take it
were a fool to think youd make it
its too easy to destroy you
i'll move on to someone else who'll
be a challenge for my talents
may sound callous, but it happens

[Catherose]

That was great, FighterPrincess! :yay Did you think of music to it also (like in the chorus, for example)?

What are you studying in grad school?

:loveCatherine

[tillie]

this is totally amazing. I've read through it a few times, and it just gets more powerful, I think. I'm really glad you decided to share it. now we just need one of you talking back. :shy

thanks for sharing!
Mary

[Seabiscuit]

Wow! That is really cool! You have a lot of talent!
this year in a holiday choir i was in, we did a rap song to Jolly Ol Saint Nich.
I really like yours!

[ruthieeee]

dat is so cool!!! glad u posted it!!! :)

ruth

[fighter princess]

*majorly blushing*

i have a couple more. none of them are very positive because i use them to blow off steam. that first one is easily my best though, the only one im really proud of.

therapy's crap
when youre about to snap
feelin like a sap
you wanna take a CRAP
on the "calming" decor
who are those toys for?
what am i, just a kid?
tell you "bad" things i did
then comes the fucking lecture
well, maybe ill do better next year
for now leave me alone,
im gonna slam the phone
down when she calls- she doesnt get it
she cant fix me just forget it
its such a fucking joke
the way they prod and poke
around the issue
"heres a tissue"
cry your eyes out
doesnt help but
doesnt SHE feel better
did her job- doesnt upset her
make me cry thats what shes paid for
either to make me break or
feel more shitty
itty bitty
a tiny little snail
in the body of a whale
just tell me what YOU fucking think
i dont KNOW how i feel you fucking shrink!

(btw, my therapist is not a shrink, and shes truly wonderful. but you know- sometimes everyone gets frusterated i think)

[Catherose]

Hey, I really like reading your stuff! Keep 'em coming! It's different from a lot of the other things people post in this forum- unique!

And I still wanna know what you're studying in grad school!:winky
Catherine

[fighter princess]

hey i meant to post another before but had to go and then forgot. im studying to be a social worker. i want to do therapy with adolescents. so im an anorexic twenty-four year old rapping future therapist to troubled youth- be afraid. be very afraid.

heres the last ed-related one ive written. it could be a bit triggery- i have trouble judging what could be triggery to others sometimes, but it expresses some real ambivalence about treatment/recovery. so watch yourselves!

:trigger

if I cant win i still can always say ive fought
its who I am- if there’s a reason, ive forgot
when something pushes me I push back, not
because im strong, or cause I got a shot

i may get beaten
smashed in pieces
torn in two an
stripped of freedom
blows still sting when
youre a tough ‘un
cant stop fighting
still, cant beat em

part of me just wants to learn how to give up
im waiting for the day when I just don’t live up
to all my too-high expectations, the temptations
high but I don’t have the patience

needed in order
to wait my turn for
something to murder
me- the disorder’s
too strong to fight, but
cruel as it cuts
cant seem to shut up
voice inside stays tough

telling me to never sit back and take shit
even if one in a mils the chance I get
or even when the chance adds up to zero
kick, bite, scream, and make them force you

how do you fight being a fighter?
at this point I would give my life for
anything’d stop me from trying
its too hard and I think dyings
better, but id fight Death, too
id take his scythe and run him through
if I won THAT fight wha’d I do?
theres no more options when its you
who always fights both good and bad
both treatment AND escape to ed-land