BallerinaBabe
12-06-2002, 02:28 PM
[pink] after thinking all these comm classes are things i'm taking just to make everyone happy, i actually learned something about me and who i am and why i am like that. who would have thought? it was like a revelation last night. i came home from a discussion on symbolic interactionism. a theory that claims that we become who we are based on the meanings those around us assign us. our generalized other is the way we are expected to behave by society and the way we look at our behaviors in society. it's weird to see a theory that fits to me so well. most of the things i do and the way i am is because that is how i have to be. my parents, friends, coworkers, etc. see me a certain way and that is the me i force myself to be. i don't listen to the "I" but am consumed by the socially defined "Me." it is time that i start listening to the "I" more and let others know that i cannot keep being the "me" that they want. i cannot keep being this perfect image of what they need me to be - happy and smiley, perfect student, always cute and sweet, generous and helpful, putting others first, going with the flow and not being outspoken. i can't do it anymore. i need to find the strength to be me in front of everyone, and not in secret. i need to stop letting my obsessions with food be a way to comfort my need for perfection. i am sick of being sick and tired, overworked and overpressured. it is time to do what i truly want, what will make me happy for who i am, not what i feel will make me happy bc it makes everyone else happy. ok, that is just my emotional catharsis for the day. thanx for listening!