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fefa
11-27-2002, 04:54 PM
:bowl,

I wrote this and I wanted to share with you all :peep :bounce :hairy

Why is so hard to let love in?

I want to let people love me,
I want to be hugged
I want to share my life with you
but I don’t know how to do that.

I want to believe that i won’t be hurt, but I know that soon or later this is going to happen.
I want to let love in.
I want to feel your love
I want to feel loved, but it is very hard to open my heart.

It is very hard to accept that I have needs
It is very hard to be loved again
And every time I feel loving coming
I just build this wall that I hate, that push people away from me
This wall makes me forget who I am
and makes me act like I don’t want you in my life.
But the only thing I want is that you come into my life.

Every time I build this wall, it is not me, but my fear
My fear to to be hurted, my fear to be alone.
My fear that you will not understand me, and just critize me.
My fear, that you will hate me.
My fear that you will just see, my faults, and not see the good in me.
My fear that you will not accept me the way I am.
My fear that you will not love me back and if this happen, I don’t know how I am going to react.

I have to understand one thing
If you are with me now, is because for you, I am unique, and that you care for me.
if you are with me, is because you saw who I am, with the good and bad and wanted to be with me no matter what.
If you are with me now, is because you can stand my grumpiers days
and you can stand being close to me, when I am mad, sad, or scared.

I want to feel your love, but first I have to let love in.
And how am I going to do that, when I am so scared?
Accepting being who I am, accepting that I deserve to be loved, and not push love away. Accepting that I am not perfect, and that i don’t need to prove nothing to you.
I just need to be who I am, and no matters what I will be loved by you.

derockette
12-01-2002, 07:14 PM
:hugon :love Fefa :love :hugoff

Thank you for sharing your poem.

rowgirl
12-02-2002, 12:40 AM
:hugon fefa :hugoff

That's so true!

tillie
12-02-2002, 09:03 AM
thank you so much for sharing this. it's really beautiful...and actually, really relevant. mind if I print it out? I think I need a reminder.

I really believe that as we start loving ourselves it becomes easier to trust that other people love us. I hope it comes soon for you. :hugonFefa:hugoff

Mary

fefa
12-02-2002, 03:18 PM
:hugon derokette, allie and mary :hugoff

I am glad you guys liked my poem :touched. i love to write and it is funny cause I write in english!!

:bug allie :bug
How are you?

:peep Mary :peep

I am looking forward to that, to let :love in. Althought still is very hard, but I hope it can come soon!! and I can break all this walls and believe in life. Did you get my last e-mail? Hope to hear from you soon!!