Having trouble...

[Bellibutton]

Hello everyone...

I don't know, this might be triggering, so I'll just warn you just in case.

It's been a rough morning... It seems that everyone is always saying that "fat isn't an emotion", but I'm having trouble finding out what the problem *is*. Honestly, I can't see what else there is that is bothering me. My family's great, I adopted a kitty, etc. I was considering doing the dreaded "clothes shopping" today because I need some, but I'm having some real problems with that. My mom has told me that she doesn't want to hear it anymore, but I feel like I have to vent *somewhere*. I also feel guilty because I always seem to be venting about exactly the same thing, and I keep on hearing that the body stuff is not the real issue, but I can't see that there are any other issues that I do have. Any suggestions?
I'm sorry if I have made anyone upset or annoyed.

:love
Bellibutton
c_delioncourt@hotmail.com

[zannahdu]

Hi, Bellibutton...

I promise you, it isn't about the weight, and it isn't about the food...I understand the confusion, though--I used to get so frustrated when therapists cut off my complaining about my bodies. And then one day, it hit me like a lightbulb. A certain amount of recovery came, and I started really being aware of my feelings, and seeing that fat is just a buzzword for shame or fear or anger or sadness, or any feeling that isn't easy to sit through.

Making this distinction has been soooo crucial to my recovery. When I start "feeling fat" or thinking I need to lose weight, etc., I ask myself, "What is this really about?" And if that doesn't work, I ask, for example, "Why do I need to lose weight/look good in small jeans/be skinny, etc.?" And the answer is sometimes something like, "I am afraid no one will like me if I am not thin." And then I see that I have lots of fear, and distrust that I am a loveable, worthy person. If I truly loved myself, I wouldn't care what specific size I was or what I looked like! So then I know to focus on giving myself that love I crave, and finding a way to trust that the universe will bring me all the love I need... This is the self-esteem forum--*ask yourself why you need to have a certain body image to feel good about yourself.* How can you find other ways to feel good about yourself? There does not need to be any other problem...you can have the most wonderful, most loving family, but if you don't love yourself and your body, you will never feel loved enough. Low self-esteem is a fundamental "issue," and we could deal with that for years without having to look any further. There are so many layers to it, too...I am learning to love myself as a human, but lately I am realize how far I still have to go in terms of loving my BODY.

I hope this helped! Even if you don't get it right now, don't worry, just take it in, and you will understand these lessons when you are ready...

Much love and many blessings, Suzannah

[dramadiva]

:hugonBellibutton:hugoff

The fat is not what's making you feel terrible. It's the way you look at yourself. It's all in the self-confidence. Has someone ever made fun of you or critisized you about your weight, or body? You have to look in the mirror, and tell yourself that you're beautiful. And you are telling the truth! You are a very beautiful flower that is about to bloom. No one is perfect, but you need to find out who you are and love yourself for what you have, not what you lack. We are all different, and that makes the world as colorful as it is. Please try to think better thoughts about yourself. It's a hard long road to recovery, but it can make the world of difference! You are special, you are great, you are beautiful, you are YOU!!!
Take care sweetie.

:hugonBellibutton:hugoff

[Bellibutton]

:hugon dramadiva :hugoff
:hugon Suzannah :hugoff

Thank you both very much:) I try telling myself good things, but I don't really believe them:sad... Everyone says to just keep doing it, but I don't see that it's helped any as of yet... Thank you very much though!

:love
Bellibutton

[Chriszgirl]

:wand I certainly agree with what the :fishys above said.....i hope and pray you'll find comfort and support around you! :love to you and lots of :clover :kiss :kiss