Do You Ever Wonder???

[Spakie]

:fishy's

Let me start by saying that I am a very christian :fishy. I was born/raised Lutheran (ELCA) but also have a very Catholic side to me :cute. I attribute my recovery to God, first and foremost.

Do you ever wonder:
:bullet If God sees us and our struggles...
:bullet If God allows us our struggles because in some way it leads us along a journey that we are meant to take?
I mean, every day some people struggle with things in their lives that would make others thank God above for not having to take that path ("there but for the grace of God, go I.") Do you think that our Ed is part of our journey?

Or do we somehow get lost on our true path, take a wrong turn, go down a misled divided section of the road... and by doing so, get disoriented in how to find our way back.. and use our ED to cope with that sorrow?

I realize this is a disjointed, simplistic sense of defining ED's.. but it's my wonder.

I consider myself a true fatelist... all that happens is part of a pre-defined plan for us... yes, we can alter that plan in some respects.. but that each thing put in front of us.. good or bad, is because we have some lesson to learn.. something needed to prepare us for what lies ahead on our journey.

I hate that I had my ED.. it took over twenty years from my life in some ways... I am learning things now that I should have learned in my teens.. but it has also made me more in tune to some things that I might have never been aware of.... such as my own spirituality, my own real desires.... I haven't gotten to the bottom of them yet, but I am so much more in tune to myself.. and I now appreciate the quirky things about me that in the past I thought was odd.. .such as loving to put on the stereo headphones and sing like there is no tomorrow!! :cute

When I hit harder times, I always pray for a sign.. a sign that my path is good... that I am heading in the right direction... and it is always answered in some way.

A great friend shared with me that sometimes when we pray for answers, they appear not to be answered.. but sometimes other people in our lives are also praying and the answer to their prayers affects us in reponse to our prayers, without us realizing it.... hum.. something to think about.

I just wondered.. if anyone else wondered....

Spakie :dog

[chablis]

yes i wonder too...chablis

[Chriszgirl]

Yes, i wonder all the time.....i pray one day he'll answer my prayers......:angel

[star_incentive]

I'm a christian as well. Though, I use the term lightly given the state I'm in and the way I've been treating Jesus lately.
We go through struggles so that we learn to depend on Him. When things are the hardest, that's when He is yelliing the most, " Come back to me! I'm supposed to carry this! Not you!" Sometimes we get too independant, and, he says in the Bible he is a selfish God and he wants all of us. In a way, our ed can be another god. An image we are trying to become and worry about and meditate on daily. One of the ten commandments was to have one and only one God and to love and worship only Him. Some scripture you might fine worth reading...Romans twelve:two
first Corinthians sixteen eleven That's all I can think of that apply off the top of my head. I hope I"m not sounding preachy. I of all people have NO business witnessing to people. Take care.
:starsStar:stars

[farmgirl]

Well, if you don't mind my two cents . . .

I think that sometimes, whatever thing we are going through that we label as 'awful' may be our path, in the sense that it gets us to where we need to be for something else. WHen I was sixteen, my family moved five hundred miles, and I 'lost' all my friends. I was miserable and resentful at the time, but had we not moved, I never would have met the wonderful man I'm married to today. Perspective changes some 'awful' things.

As far as things like an ED, I think that they just happen, but God helps us use them to benefit others, if we choose that path (rather than wallowing in self-pity).

I have a couple of examples. I had a miscarriage a couple years ago. After that, I developed a pretty decent panic disorder - up to five panic attacks a day. NOT FUN. I learned how to deal with the panic, thanks to a good antidepressant and an even better therapist. Things are much better these days.

Since the miscarriage, I have had the opportunity to support and comfort several other people who also had miscarriages. Just the other day, I met someone who is in the worst part of the panic disorder - pre diagnosis, when you feel practically insane. I was able to tell her she was not alone, and that it does get better.

I'm not saying God 'did this to me', but I also could not have helped others without the experiences. It has been gratifying in every instance when I've been able to help someone who is suffering.

I don't believe that God gives us trials or problems so we can 'build character' or help others. I think that problems and trials happen, and through grace we find ways to overcome them, and help others do the same.

I don't know if this makes sense or not, but I hope so.
-Laura

[JenRebekah]

Yesterday in church, the man speaking said something very profound to me. He said, that when we have trials, and problems, and we turn to the Lord for love, help, support and comfort, he will answer us. and he will help us. It is not always the way we expect or want. Its not always in the time frame we want, but eventually we will look back at the situation and see God's hand in it. Sometimes we don't understand why these problems and struggles are placed before us, but those answers will come eventually when God is prepared for us to know it.

He does know our pain. He feels it, He felt every ounce of pain that we have gone thru when he prayed in Gethesemene and died on the cross. He knows and understands better than anyone else, better than we could.

Sometimes I think he allows things to happen. We have to feel misery in order to understand joy.

:love and :peace

[Pella]

Great post :hugonSpakie!:hugoff
God heals according to His purpose. And like Job....how can we ever truly know the mind of God? His power is so AWESOME...but I continually find myself asking questions all the time! Not until that day when we see Him face to face will we truly be able to grasp the magnitude and glory of it all? I probably will never fully understand why I struggled with this eating disorder for so many years? But, I do know God measures the duration and intensity of our pain. He literally bottles our tears. He also ministers and comforts us in our times of distress (if we allow it.) He has never left my side, although many times I've forsook Him. I know He works all things out for the good of those who believe and love Him. Confronting the ed and coming out of denial has at times increased my pain----but learning to accept it all in the grand design He has for my life has grown my faith. He always has a purpose in the pain even if it's hard to see at the time. I just have to accept it and learn from it and keep on praising Him in the midst of it.
Love beth :sun:love

[VerboseMermaid]

:hugon Spakie :hugoff

My belief is this: Our whole lives are determined by a mix of free-will and destiny--and both those things add up to fate. Our fate is our fate no matter the choices we make, because essentially, our fate is only realized after we die. It's the sum of our life, and every breath we take is part of that ultimate fate.

Our EDs are probably a culmination of all those factors: Lessons we had to learn (destiny); decisions we made (free-will); and the final outcome of all those things when they're dumped in a bowl and stirred (fate).

I hope that made some semblance of sense!

PS--Jen, my mom believes something close to what that man said at church: She recently said to me, "Sometimes we think our prayers haven't been answered, when in reality, God just said 'no.'" What she means is that--if you're wont to believe along the lines of Christianity--God always knows what's best for us, even when it seems like he's not present or not coming through for us. I'm not Christian (my own choice), but I still like that theory, because I think it can be of comfort to Christians who are questioning their faith.