Hello to all, new fish in the pond!

[Sweetfeeder]

Hello, I found this site while looking for clothes online and I must say how happy I am to find a place where I can hope to make some friends and learn more about food issues and ways to get some real help.

It's always been easy to talk about myself so I'll keep the background info short. I am an overweight female, and growing. All my friends are normal sized and think I'm fun, sexy and beautiful. I am an expert at acting. I am lucky to have loving and accepting friends but none of them know the real truth about my eating patterns.

I have health issues (mental and physical) and have worked at home for the past five years, isolated and able to eat whatever and whenever I want.

The positive things I have done over the past few years is quit drugs, drinking and smoking. I feel very powerful for being able to accomplish these goals. I feel very weak for being unable to control my eating.

I just want to talk about this one thing that no one knows about me. Not even my own shrink. I just feel too much shame to talk to anyone.

I hope this isn't too long and I hope to hear from someone!

Thanks for listening.

Sweetfeeder

[Sweetfeeder]

hello again,

How very strange and wonderful life can be.

Yesterday one of my friends, the only gal I know as big as me called on me for a visit. When she arrived we sat in the warmth of the Arizona night sky and talked. She is one of my many loving supportive friends that see me as a big, bold, brash, confident being.

I admitted to her my fears and of finding and joining this support group. We talked for hours and found to have so much more in common than just hanging out to have fun. Our fears didn't seem so fearful and we laughed about our situations and thanked our lucky stars for having good lives.

So, after just one day of being on this group I have made a friend to talk to about my eating/weight/other issues and she was always there all along.

I have always held up a brave front to my friends. I thought it was better than downgrading myself in front of others.

I'm glad I let my guard down...

Sweetfeeder

[Kensington]

Hi sweetfeeder,

Welcome to the :bowl!

It sounds like you are really ready to work on yourself & recovery - woohoo!

I'm happy that you had such a wonderful nite last nite talking to your friend. You are building quite the support group in the past twenty-four hours! What is it your therapist doesn't know about? The ed? If so, do you think you might be able to open up to her/him about it now?

Best of luck to you :clover & keep posting, hon.

[Sweetfeeder]

Hi Kensington,

Thanks for responding.

I am certainly ready to make some (more) positive changes in my life.

I haven't spoken to my shrink about my eating behaviors but when I mentioned I would like to lose weight he started talking about what I should and shouldn't eat, diet advise, exercise advice etc.

I wasn't ready for his (helpful) onslaught of information. I was just mentioning my weight.

Maybe I'll talk to him next visit.

My big problem lately (summertime) is consuming massive quantities of liquids. mostly sugar loaded. I can't stay asleep more than two hours without having to get up to guzzle. My sleep is disturbed and it affects my moods ( I suffer from a mood disorder, bi-polar)

I felt helpless when I was a drug/alcohol/tobacco abuser and overcame those addictions. Food is different. I love food, I love to eat. I need the tools to begin to control my intake. To view it differently, I don't see it as nutrition, I see it as a friend, I am starting by talking about it...

What's the next step?

Thanks for listening.

Sweetfeeder

[MML]

Hi Sweetfeeder,

Welcome to the :bowl. This is a wonderful place to start you on the road to recovery.

I've had a similar experience with physicians and psychologists responding to tentative statements about health (ed related) concerns by giving me very obvious diet/exercise/behavior modification techniques and been very disappointed. (Of course, I never told any of them that I had an ed, but I hoped they could magically diagnose that from my vague statements and hints!)

Honesty about the disorder is very important and, once you start, not really so hard. Just a few days at this site and I've joined overeaters anonymous, am reading and responding to the literature, and have told two people I love and one person I know that I have a compulsive eating disorder and am trying a ******** step program. They've all been GREAT and supportive in their response. I have yet to admit to them that I have binge eating disorder too, but that will come.

Together we CAN recover!
:peace:love:clover

[Sweetfeeder]

Kindness and love are evident in your resonse and I got a good feeling from your response to my post. Thank you!

I think Overeaters Anon may be a good idea for me to check out. Thanks for the tip!