How do you all do it?

[Katerade]

Guys I just don't know what to do. I eat so much now that I've beat this bulimia obsession laxative abuse thing. But now that I can accept the food in my body I can't stop. Did you know that I have gained about ##### pounds in one month? And I swore that I would lose ##### by the end of the summer. Food I think has beaten me, and though I eat SO healthy I eat so much that I don't know where I put it all. I need lots and lots of advice. You all know better than I do, what do I do to lick this bad habit? Where should I start? I exercise every day and am vegan and have only whole grains and fruit and veggies and some peanut butter every so often. When I binge I binge on oatmeal and bananas and popcorn (no butter) and melon. But still I eat so much of it, you know? Where do you all get the energy to fight? How do you stop if you are too tired to try? Food consumes me and it looms over me and it haunts me and mocks me and I just hate it so much sometimes. But you know you need it so what to do then? AGH!

So anyway any sort of advice would be great. Steps or something, like alcoholics anonymous' twelve. Inspiration. Oh, man, something. I don't know. All I know is I'm not doing this very well on the knowledge that I have so far.

Thanks all. Very kind of you.

Kate

[JolieAnn]

Dear Kate, it is wonderful that you have been able to give up some of your e.d. behavior. You should be extremely proud of yourself for that. However, bingeing is still an e.d. in itself, and it needs just as much attention as any other disorder. Instead of focusing on losing weight, maybe you can try, along with someone you trust, to identify what feelings you are trying to bury with food. The advice that I have continued to give everyone here is, when you go to the kitchen or get in your car to get binge food, try and stop and ask yourself, "What purpose will this serve me? Am I hungry, angry, lonely, tired?" If you find that you are eating out of a feeling other than hunger, try and identify what it is and see if it can be dealt with more effectively. Of course, this does not always work. But, the more you practice being able to identify and label feelings, the easier it gets to deal with them directly.
I remember one time I got in my car to go and buy binge food. I was up the block and I thought to myself, "why am I doing this?, How will I feel afterwards?" Well, I knew that after I binged, I would end up just going to sleep. Therefore, I turned the car around, went home, and took a nap. I woke up feeling much better. My trigger to binge was due to feeling tired. There are so many binge triggers. Try and identify which ones are most powerful for you...Take care of yourself and give your body what it truly needs

[Allison LHF]

Have you thought of trying OA meetings? There seems to be a section almost anywhere you go, and I know some girls on here have mentioned having success with it.
Good luck in whatever you do and I'm sorry I don't have better answers for you, I feel just as confused and lost somtimes...

:bounce Allison :bounce

[KJoy]

Kate......:stars

I don't want to at all minimize what you are going through, but have you checked with the people on the bulimia recovery boards?
From what I've read (and I could totally be talking out of my ass), it takes a little while for your body to re-adjust to eating and KEEPING the food inside of you.

I really recommend asking over there to see if your experience is common......

best wishes,

:bluefishy.

[pooh bear fan]

hi kate, i can relate.
i was bulimic and gave up purging, but still have issues with binging/overeating.
i know this probably doesn't help you a great deal, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone. and well done :yay on the no purging too, that is wonderful :stars

[Monstaar]

Hey there :)
i have a couple of ideas here for you, i might know nothing, but ahh im sure that it cant hurt.
first thing is that you seem you be focusing on food and ur weight soooo much, like most of us do, life is way much more than food and losing weight, i think when u start accepting your body as it is, you start to like yourself when you like yourself you feel happier then are less likely to binge vs. hate body, feel fat, get upset, eat to drown that feeling, so then you feel fat, its a horrid cycle.
the second thing that i was thinking, being an ex veggie, is do you get enough protein rich foods. i dont eat much meat, i take a vitamin b , c and sometimes iron. i find i am less inclined to overeat when i have my vitamins because my body isnt craving them, and doesnt get me to eat to try and get them. im not saying take those vitamins, i just know that they are the ones that i often seem to lack. also you seem to binge out on carb rich foods. i find when i start on carbs it can be hard to stop, because i get the sugar rush, then my body releases too much insulin then i want more sugar. if i balance my carbs with protein i dont get that same rush, and protein makes you feel full and doesnt give you that desire to overeat.
just some ideas that i thought might help, good luck :)

[LizE]

Hi there,

I have never been outright bulemic, although I suppose you could say I had exercise bulimia for a while several years ago, not to mention laxative bulimia as well. During those times I was eating a LOT. I couldn't really find it in me to be able to stop, even though I so desperately wanted to.

I find with anything in my life it seems that when I make a change, it feels extreme. So these days I've taken to doing everything gradually. Thus, I've finally been able to classify myself "COE Recovered." (For the fourth time. Geez, you'd think my body would learn)

What this means for me is that I changed jobs, entered a loving relationship with my girlfriend, got on a more regular exercise schedule, began preparing my lunches rather than just waiting until it was time, thus leading me to reach for anything, eating breakfast each day, etc. etc.

Since I'm so busy and structured, I feel as though there's no room for self-destructive behaviors. Plus the desire isn't there.

So I guess what I'm saying here is that maybe it would be worthwhile for you to see where you can make small changes and go from there. Over time they really add up! Nothing happens overnight, but eventually you look back and you're like, "Whoa! I can't believe I made it!"

LizE

[E]

Kate,
I had an experience a lot like yours. I was bulimic for several years, and finally got into recovery from that, but went through a phase of still binging and not just purging (when i say phase i mean quite a while - probably at least a year or year and a half). I gained A LOT of weight. and I was not happy about it at all. But, I decided that I was not going to focus on weight at all and just try to eat healthy. That is of course not easy, but I think that if you keep in a recovery mindset, things will eventually fall into place with the binging. That is what happened for me- it took quite a while, but now I overeat very rarely and the extra weight I gained is just coming off naturally and slowly. I am not saying there's no psychological work you have to do, but I think it's key not to beat yourself up right now, because as much as we would like recovery to be fast, it's just not. It's really hard to give up ALL your behaviors ALL at once. I know it feels crappy to overeat, but hey, it is an improvement over bulimia/laxatives and you've made a step in the right direction. the rest will come in time if you keep believing in yourself.

:love
e

[MML]

Hello, Kate,

I have never been bulilmic, but I do have binge eating disorder and have been an on and off vegetarian for years. It is very true that binge eating is a separate (and equal??:grin) eating disorder that has to be addressed.

It has been my experience that addressing binge eating disorder with nutritional approaches (add protein, vitamins, etc./avoid carbohydrates, etc.) have never provided a true recovery. I have only started to recover with the help of Overeaters Anonymous and the information/support found here at the :bowl.

Admitting that you have a problem and reaching out for help is the first step toward recovery.

We CAN recover!
:peace:love:clover