Bad Day

[last_wonder]

Actually been having an awful time since lastnight. During the day yesterday I was holdong on pretty okay. At night (always my weakest moments) I felt really ignored and invisible to my bf and I was mad at myself for letting myself feel that way. Why would another person's action dictate how I feel? I ate and ate and ate to stuff down the anger I was feeling toward myself. This morning I woke up feeling so depressed I could hardly function. I came home during lunch and had a bad bad binging episode. I'm also taking the afternoon off because I can't bear to face anyone or anything. I've got some friends visiting from out of town tonight. I just hope I be "normal" for them and cheer the **** up.

Sorry to fuss, I just feel like a total failure and hopeless and useless... Needed to get that off my chest.

[cercle]

:hugon last_wonder :hugoff

i understand how feeling ignored and invisible has such a powerful influence.

i hope you're doing better. sorry i don't have anything more helpful to add.

[JolieAnn]

Last_Wonder, I relate to the night time terror. The same thing happens to me. I can be really positive about everything in the morning, and as the day moves on, my mood begins to fall. It is really tough when people are coming over to stay with you and you feel you have to change your mood. Unfortunately, that has caused me to isolate in many situations. I can handle certain things, but when it comes to having people over, I get so anxious. I have cancelled on people quite a few times. I just want you to know that the more we work on this, the better things will be. I honestly believe this or I would not be trying so hard anymore. Love always, holly