tad-pole
07-12-2001, 02:05 PM
OK ...
First, I want to say that I started this train of thought in Therapy. I'm doing a work book called "A Biblical Approach to the Twelve Step Program for Eating Disorders".
It asks you how you see God and shows you how your own parents, especially your father affects your veiw of God as Father.
I had two dads. One wonderful adoring step dad who understood what unconditional love is. And one real father (anyone from the a/b board who reads my posts over there are fully aware of my problems with Dad.)who is judgemental and well ... rude!
Well, I have never understood someone not being able to see God as father till I met my husbands sister. Through talks with her I've seen how bad dad's can negatively influence that.
To me, God is just like my step dad only perfect. I know He loves me unconditionally. I know He hurts when I hurt and when I do things that are out of His will. And I know that His will isn't to control me, but to protect me and allow me the best life possible. I have no trouble seeing him as a mightly loving merciful God.
But then, this last year I've come to the realization that I do not see me as HE sees me. I have NO clue why God loves me enough to have sent his son for me. I have no idea why I am precious in His eyes. Yet, I am, or the Bible is wrong. Either I'm the exception to the Bible ... or I just am seeing myself wrong (well duh! would I have an ED if I was seeing myself right?)
So, in January, my Sunday School teacher (and mentor) challenges our class to ask God for something Big and personal. And spiritual ... not for finances, health or anything like that, but spiritual. She asked for a strength and stability to handle better the curves life tends to throw at her.
I asked God to show me what he sees in me. To show me not how much he loves me, 'cause I know that.
I understand He loves me. I understand he wants good things. I get it, I do. And I feel his presence and hear his voice.
But I want to see in me what others see, and what He sees.
So I start this new Bible study last night ...
In My Father's House.
It talks about getting to know God as a Daughter that He treasures.
I realized ... I see God through my step dad's influence. But I see me through my real dad's influence!!!!!!
I want to see myself as God sees me. As my step dad saw me. As my friends and :fishy see me.
First, I want to say that I started this train of thought in Therapy. I'm doing a work book called "A Biblical Approach to the Twelve Step Program for Eating Disorders".
It asks you how you see God and shows you how your own parents, especially your father affects your veiw of God as Father.
I had two dads. One wonderful adoring step dad who understood what unconditional love is. And one real father (anyone from the a/b board who reads my posts over there are fully aware of my problems with Dad.)who is judgemental and well ... rude!
Well, I have never understood someone not being able to see God as father till I met my husbands sister. Through talks with her I've seen how bad dad's can negatively influence that.
To me, God is just like my step dad only perfect. I know He loves me unconditionally. I know He hurts when I hurt and when I do things that are out of His will. And I know that His will isn't to control me, but to protect me and allow me the best life possible. I have no trouble seeing him as a mightly loving merciful God.
But then, this last year I've come to the realization that I do not see me as HE sees me. I have NO clue why God loves me enough to have sent his son for me. I have no idea why I am precious in His eyes. Yet, I am, or the Bible is wrong. Either I'm the exception to the Bible ... or I just am seeing myself wrong (well duh! would I have an ED if I was seeing myself right?)
So, in January, my Sunday School teacher (and mentor) challenges our class to ask God for something Big and personal. And spiritual ... not for finances, health or anything like that, but spiritual. She asked for a strength and stability to handle better the curves life tends to throw at her.
I asked God to show me what he sees in me. To show me not how much he loves me, 'cause I know that.
I understand He loves me. I understand he wants good things. I get it, I do. And I feel his presence and hear his voice.
But I want to see in me what others see, and what He sees.
So I start this new Bible study last night ...
In My Father's House.
It talks about getting to know God as a Daughter that He treasures.
I realized ... I see God through my step dad's influence. But I see me through my real dad's influence!!!!!!
I want to see myself as God sees me. As my step dad saw me. As my friends and :fishy see me.