he'll think i'm fat

[Daffodil]

hello everyone--my name is claire
i am taking college classes right now, and I'm having a lot of trouble with eating. I've had severe anorexia in the past--but now i think i overeat compulsively. I feel like i've gained twenty xxxxx [edited by Kensington] pounds in the past month--even though everyone says it's in my head. It's pathetc-my number one fear when i go home is that this guy that's interested in me will think i'm fat now and stop being interested. I need your help

[malory]

I'm in a similar spot lately--am in the middle of summer school, with four more weeks to go, and am full-on in the grip of CO and bingeing. It sucks.

If you want to stay in touch I'd love to.

A couple things--

I would bet that if this person is attracted to you he is attracted to ALL of you. And that a few pounds one way or the other won't make a difference. I know that this is probably hard to believe--I have a hard time believing this for myself, but I think it's true. I've experienced it something like it in the past (finding people attracted to me--a CHANGED me, not the real me, I always thought--when I didn't think it was possible) It always seemed unreal when things like this would happen. Unreal, I guess, because I had such a hard time feeling attractive myself that it was unthinkable that someone else would find me attractive. Sometimes it helps to separate those two things--your own expectations and feelings about yourself, and those of others.

So, is it a new thing that you've identified your behaviors as compulsive eating/bingeing? As far as I can tell a shift in ED like you've had is pretty common.

take care of yourself. feel free to email me ;)

malory.

[JolieAnn]

Dear Claire, I cannot even begin to tell you how much I relate to what you have written. I, too, was anorexic and now suffer from BED. It is not uncommon for this to happen. We have never had the chance to teach our bodies moderation, so our bodies actually become confused with food. I just want to welcome you here and let you know that you are not alone. Please email me anytime if you would like to talk more. It's all in my profile. Hugs, Lauren