another newbie

[malory]

I'm new too--just signed on earlier this afternoon in hopes of finding some motivation and support. I've been dealing with binge eating/compulsive overeating since I was seventeen (I'm now twenty-one). I was in a fairly stable state of recovery for about a year and a half, but it all kind of went to hell four months ago when I went through a devastating break-up with my boyfriend. Since then I've slipped in and out of destructive behaviors--for periods of time really being able to feel my feelings, seek support, and be close to others, and then slipping into a kind of silent misery where I really didn't care enough/was too scared to face what I was feeling. Right now I'm struggling to stop a cycle of bingeing and overeating (one reason I signed on here), and I'm feeling really frustrated with my apparent inability to do so.

I'm about to ride my bike to the library--it's hot and beautiful out--to work on a project I've been avoiding. Maybe it'll give me some momentum to deal with this.

I guess what I'd like is to hear from somebody in a similar position--who KNOWS what recovery looks like and feels like, but who has lost sight of it for the time being and is trying to get back on their feet. Anyone out there?

-malory

[Seabiscuit]

Hi Malory! Welcome to the :bowl! I really hope that you find the fishy :bowl website helpful - I have been a member of this great community for about two years now.
I am going through a time right now where I am trying to get back to recovery because it felt so great and yet I'm having a hard time getting there.
Try not to give up! We are all here for one another and if you ever want to email me, I'd love to hear from you
Wishing you wellness,
Amyb

[malory]

thanks amy. . .

I DO hope to stay in touch. You may get an email from me soon--I'm feeling a little lost in the sea here--so many people, so many posts! Trying to figure out how to use the site USEFULLY, you know? I can get kind of zoned out on the computer. I want to use it to connect, not to avoid connection--but I don't know if I've figured out exactly what that means.

I'm pretty much stuck right now, in general. Treading water (well, barely keeping my head above water, I guess). I really want/need SOMETHING to change. It's time to commit, only I can't seem to. Really really frustrating.

anyway, thanks for the welcome--

malory.

[JolieAnn]

Hi Malory, I think it so amazing that you are back on your feet and ready to recover. That's a great step in the right direction. I am a recovered anorexic, who has also suffered from bulimia, and now I am working through recovery from binge eating. I focus my entire life right now on recovery. I read tons of books and take the suggestions that I get. Some days, I can make it through, others are not so easy. All in all, if you want it, you'll get it. You have been in recovery and you will get there again, no doubt at all. You may want to check out the recovery bulletin board as well. Many there have recovered and are working toward a better life. This site is truly amazing and I guarantee you will find the support you are looking for. I want you to feel free to email me anytime. My address is in my profile. I try to give and get as much support as I possibly can. I know that support is what's needed to make it through this. Welcome and look forward to your recovery.