How can I help myself?

[Ms Simon]

When my mother refuses to help?

I'm sorry I haven't been constant in posting here, but I keep falling back into this swamp of CED, and I feel like a failure.

:trigger ... I don't think it will, but there are some food references, so it might.

Anyway, my problem is this. I'm definitely ready to start doing something about my problem, especially when it comes to eating just generally healthy foods.

But then my mother buys horrible foods, foods that I beg her not to buy because they are my weakness (especially potato chips), and I fail every time. I know I can't entirely blame it on her, because I haven't learned self discipline yet, but that just makes it so much harder.

She brings home fast food all the time, too. For instance, tonight she brought home a super sized meal from McDonalds.

I just... I feel so lost and hopeless and really, I am almost ready to give up.

:cry

[kareliz]

Dear Ms. Simon,
I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time. It seems like potato chips and fast food are trigger foods for you. For me its certain cookies and bread. I can't stop when I start, so for now, I have decided not to have them around. I shop for myself so its easy to not have these foods in my house.

Does your mom know the struggle you have with food? Would there be any reason for her to bring these foods around? I'm trying to think of a good reason but I cannot. All I can come up with is that you have told her about your ED and she is in denial so she thinks you can eat fast food, etc.

I hope you can make your mom understand that she is undermining your recovery. And yes, I know that the first step is mental, but having trigger foods around is not going to help you out right now.

Good luck to you!

kareliz

[Ms Simon]

Well, I have told my mom about my ED, but she didn't take it seriously.

I have begged her not to bring those foods in the house, and to bring me salad's when she gets fast food, but she doesn't.

She eats potato chips as much as I do, which is why she likes having them around... and so does my dad.

And now I just don't know WHAT to do.

[JolieAnn]

Dear MsSimon, I know how difficult it is when people bring trigger foods into the house. For a while, my father kept on keeping certain foods in the house, which I would end up bingeing on. Not only would I feel guilty about the binge, but I also felt that I was "stealing" his food. I have spoken to both my parents about my problem. My father no longer keeps that food in the house. He has agreed that if he wants to have some type of dessert, he can always go out to get it. I am very grateful for this, however, I know that a lot of people wouldn't do that.
Out of curiousity, is your mother aware of your e.d.? Also, if you don't mind me asking, does she have an eating disorder? I am asking because many times when one person wants to recover from anything and the other person is not ready, they may(not being conscious of it) try to disuade(? is that a word) another person from recovering. It is not malicious, it is just hard to watch someone else recover when the other person is too scared, or not ready to.
If you have not spoken to her about your e.d., would it be an option to do so?

[angeljill]

Boy has this topic hit home tonight.I am trying to recover from OE and my husband drinks. He is not ready to see that he has a problem.when ever he drinks he likes to have sweets which happens to be my trigger foods.I know he does it so he is does not have to feel gulity about his drinking.I have ask him not to bring those foods into the house and he doesn't unless he is drinking.

[Ms Simon]

aww.

:hugon angeljill :hugoff

Yeah, I told my mother. She took me to a counseler, and for some reason, she wouldn't let me go back.

My mother is a very hard person to figure out. I can't decide if she has an ED, or if she just loves food... a LOT.

And I can't talk to my dad... about ANYTHING. So asking him for help really isn't an option.

I'm so ready to give up. :sad

[JolieAnn]

Ms Simon, Please don't give up. It's not worth it. You will not have to deal with this forever. Eventually, with help and support, even if your mother does keep bringing food into the house, you will be able to deal with it. I know how hard this is, but don't let your e.d. win the battle. Keep writing here. Please e mail me anytime for anything. All the info is in my profile. It's easier to give up than to keep working at recovery. The setbacks are all part of the journey. Just that fact that you wrote this here, shows you do not want to just surrender to the e.d. Before you grab for the food, just ask yourself, "What purpose will this serve?" Am I hungry? If so, then eat. But if your answer is something other than hunger, try another tactic. Write down what you're feeling. Try to see what purpose the food is going to serve. Are you angry, lonely, bored, tired? These are all binge triggers. Just keep trying. You can always go back, but for the meantime give yourself a chance at freedom. Again, please e mail me anytime. I understand. Love Lauren