disappointed

[JolieAnn]

Okay, I just wrote an entire post and it didn't go through so I will make this short. I am a little confused about what to do about whether I should completely eliminate my "binge craving foods" altogether. The thing is, I can not just have one. When it comes to the type of foods that I binge on, there is no moderation. I realize that we shouldn't deny ourselves things, however, in the meantime, to avoid going all out, should I try to eliminate those foods just for now? I binged last night and because I don't keep "binge" food in the house, I end up bingeing on things I don't even want. If I go to the store, I will definitely buy way too much. There is no moderation when it comes to certain foods for me. I am pretty good at forgiving myself, and I do forgive myself for last night. I do very well during the day, but night time is awful for me. I have no idea what to do about eliminating these foods altogether? Just for the meantime while my problem is still so bad, would any of you have any suggestions?

[Shellikins]

:hugonHolly Hobby:hugoff

Hmm, I'm sure there are pros and cons for both ways. I myself find that if I deny my binge foods and buy healthy foods, I end up eating the healthy foods first, and then going back out to get what I wanted in the first place.

My trap is that I tell myself that THIS is the last time I will eat my binge food. So I am setting myself up. I tell myself I can eat all I want of it now, but after today, I will never have it again. So I should just tell myself that I can have it whenever I want for the rest of my life.

Do you binge on things like that? I think if you make no food forbidden or "bad", maybe they will lose their appeal to want to binge on them.

Nightime is bad for me also. I'm not sure why that is other than I don't eat during the day. I guess my body is ravenous then by evening.

I don't think I was much help. I have found that asking the people on the recovery COE board helps. They have dug themselves out of the hole that we are in.

Good luck, my dear :happy.

[JolieAnn]

Thank you shellikens. I really try not to label any food forbidden. And i eat pretty well during the day. It's just that each time that I try to have just one of my "binge foods", it doesn't work. I am at a loss with this. Thanks for always being a great support for me....

[kareliz]

:hugon Holly :hugoff
I know how you feel. I have trigger foods too. I think I can eat them in moderation, but I can't. I have decided that there are certain things I cannot have in the house for the time being. Maybe later when I feel stronger I can re-introduce them back in my life.

I find that when I don't have these favorite "binge foods" around, I may do a mini-binge, but its not half as bad as it would have been. Not a perfect solution, but maybe a start to get me on the right track.

Good luck to you Holly Hobby.
:cutekareliz

[JolieAnn]

Kareliz, thank you. i think that is probably what i need to do for the time being. It's true what you said about the different size of the binge, so with that, I am going to keep binge foods out of the house.

[Venche]

Hi Holly Hobby,

Thank you so much for your post. It addresses my situation right now and I guess it will be good for me to get to think about it for a while. As far as my own bingeing I can definitely relate to Shellikins - yeah, this is exactly the way it is with me. Eat the good stuff first, then the bad one and end up overeating twice.
I am not really sure, however, that having the foods I crave is a great idea for me cuz I always eat it all and at once. Not having it isn't very good either cuz then I feel like mad - sometimes I would even rummage through all cupboards just in case I have forgotten that I had something there...brrr...but then, there are moments when I just don't have where to get the trigger food from - no store near me, late at night etc. and then I don't binge...sooo...I kind of feel that like a drug addict who hasn't gotten his stuff...yeah it's kind of scary..but as far as I know even though while they are abstinent they feel really bad once they go through it their body slowly starts to recover from the addiction...So I am thinking maybe if I find a way to not binge for a while even if it has nothing to with recovery but is just purely making it physically impossible for me to binge - i.e. having only healthy stuff at home and not going out to buy anything additional (good that I am so short of moeny right now :) I will probably reach a point when I will realize not only consciously but unconsciously and physically and in all possible ways that I CAN LIVE without bingeing...hmmm the only problem is that I might end up bingeing worse than ever telling myself that I deserve it after having restrained myself for soo loong...
oooh....and ain't it really funny that we COEs so often tend to see bingeing - exactly the behaviour we want to get rid of as the way to treat ourselves for not bingeing...well that's really paradox...yet that's just the way I do it...welll good luck everyone anyways..I hope it will eventually work out for all of you...but I wiould be really interestesd to see what other fishies think about having or not having the food around...it's all so complicated, damn it!
Well take care,
love and hugs from Venche,