posting to cope

[fierce]

hi, i hope no one minds this but i'm posting right now to distract myself. i'm not hungry but i very badly want to eat. i want to binge.

i've been struggling lately with my eating. Well i've been struggling for a long time, but i had a period where i was doing well but now i'm not so much doing well.

today i made a promise to myself that i was going to be good to myself and not eat if i wasn't hungry, i was going to do things to distract myself if i wanted to binge etc.

so that's what i'm doing.

i turned ******** yesterday and i'm so tired of living a COE life. i'm so tired of it. i want to be healthy and happy and so here i am posting so i don't eat.

i've posted here in the past, but i never stick around too long. blah.

i'm sorry if this is in the wrong place, or about the wrong stuff or something like that. sometimes all the rules here make me nervous although i'm glad they exist because i've been a part of other places that are supposed to provide support but end up being more triggery than anything else.

so i think i'm done now, and i'm gonna step away from my computer and try to do something else to distract myself.

-fierce

[JolieAnn]

Dear Fierce, I just need to say that I am amazed to have opened your post right now. I am in your same position at this very moment. I am new here and i am also not sure of rules as far as this goes, but I just need to tell you, at this moment, you are not alone. I am going through the same thing and I am really glad you wrote today. It helps me to know this, so thank you. Maybe together, just knowing we're not alone, we may be able to feel a bit more comforted in this lonely disorder.