out of control

[mrs_smith]

Hi, I'm new to this forum. I was in residential treatment for bulimia for **** weeks. During that time, I normalized my eating & stopped purging. I was apprehensive about leaving because I was afraid my old habits would return when I got home. I gained a little bit of weight while I was there which I was unhappy about considering I already thought I was too heavy. I have been home since the beginning of June & have been having a really hard time. I have not been following my meal plan & have been having episodes of bingeing. Last night I purged for the first time in months. I don't know what has gotten into me. I feel so depressed and remorseful. I tried to return to my job last week but couldn't handle it emotionally. My coworkers did not know why I had been off for so long. I told a couple of people but they didn't understand & commented on my weight gain which made me even more upset. I have not been back since. My therapist told me I seemed worse than I was before treatment. I keep blaming my negative feelings on the weight gain. If I could just get my eating under control & lose some weight, I'd feel better. I know this thinking isn't logical but I can't get these thoughts out of my head. I don't know what to do.

[*star]

:hugonmrs smith:hugoff
welcome to the :bowl! you were able to eat normally and stop b/p-ing while in treatment. i have no doubts that you can do it again. at least you know your thinking isnt right, you really have to try and change it. it may seem hopeless right now, but you can do it, even if its a hard battle. you can win and :kick this ed! good luck to you :clover

[ARTgrrlOne]

:stars :hugon mrs smith :hugoff :stars

welcome to the :bowl ...there is a lot of support to be found here! :cool

I am about to enter Residential at Renfrew and am a bit scared about my b/p being regulated, though i know its for the best.

I'm sorry that you feel worse now then before, but please...you gotta get rid of the idea that it is your weight causing all this and that if you lost X amount, things would be better!

What is it back in your life stressing you that might be leading to b/p? Do you think that you might be putting too much pressure on yourself to succeed and :kick this ed? Its going to take a lot of work. I think you know this too.

Have you thought about meeting with a nutritionist now that you are out of treatment and working on perhaps figuring out a healthy mealplan? Also, try taking a walk a few times a week...nothing extensive, but a little endorphin rush always helps the seritonan levels in the brain. it might make you feel better.

take care of you and keep posting!!

:love
Ally :sun

[mrs_smith]

Thanks for the support! I have had a better day today. I ate "normally", did not overdo it. I took my dog for a walk which made us both feel better.

[GardenOfSimple]

:hugon mrs smith :hugoff
WELCOME TO THE :bowl!!! I'm sorry to hear that things are hard for you right now. I'm not really sure what to say, but just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. Keep posting and DON'T GIVE UP!!!

[lexy*]

:hugon Mrs_Smith :hugoff

First of all, I know that slips suck, especially after a extended period of abstinence.

However, after transitioning from a highly structure residential environment to the freedom of reality, it is understandable that you may slip. Get back on. You can and will recover, if you believe in yourself and recovery.

If tossing you back on the NO PURGE BANDWAGON!!!!!!

KEEP FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!

Lexy

[CReeDGuRL]

:hugon Mrs Smith :hugoff
hey hun!! keep fighting! hang in there! two steps forward for every one back. you can do it!! i am sure it is very hard to be in your situation. but i know you are strong enough to conquor it! and dont berate yourself for every little set back- focus on the positive and the stuff you have done to improve- instead! email me if you ever want to talk!! plus i would like to know more aobut waht your ip experience was like.
take care
:love
creedgurl

[Anonymous_Member004]

:hugonMs.Smith:hugoff
welcome to the :bowl. i wish i had words of wisdom,,,,i am sort of in the same boat right now. it is so hard. please try to keep fighting.
:hugon:loveMs. Smith:love:hugoff