Europa
07-10-2001, 08:45 AM
Mentions ED-related death
Dear fellow :fishy's,
My dearest friend Jacqui died a month ago after loosing her battle with anorexia - I feel empty, sad, mad, angry, defeated, deflated, but mostly just mad mad mad.
I know it isn't her fault. I know she hurt so badly. I know it isn't my fault. I know I couldn't have done more than I did - sometimes even doing everything you can is not enough. I wish it were different. I know the clock can't be turned back. I hate the ED. I REALLY hate it.
Jacqui's daughter Vanessa has been living with us since her mum was hospitalised. She is just twelve. We have made all the official applications to foster her permanently - she is a lovely girl, but Jacqui's parents can't cope with her (they are in their seventies). It's been a hectic time, but now things are getting back to "normal" I feel deflated. I think I need to give myself time to mourn her. To forgive her. To forgive myself. Because although my head knows it isn't her fault or mine, I still feel guilty.
On the positive side, we are finally getting an official ED clinic in one of Brussels' major hospitals in the fall. My doctor & therapist are both part of the team pioneering it. At last.
Thank you for listening - it's good to know you're out there.
:love
Eva
Dear fellow :fishy's,
My dearest friend Jacqui died a month ago after loosing her battle with anorexia - I feel empty, sad, mad, angry, defeated, deflated, but mostly just mad mad mad.
I know it isn't her fault. I know she hurt so badly. I know it isn't my fault. I know I couldn't have done more than I did - sometimes even doing everything you can is not enough. I wish it were different. I know the clock can't be turned back. I hate the ED. I REALLY hate it.
Jacqui's daughter Vanessa has been living with us since her mum was hospitalised. She is just twelve. We have made all the official applications to foster her permanently - she is a lovely girl, but Jacqui's parents can't cope with her (they are in their seventies). It's been a hectic time, but now things are getting back to "normal" I feel deflated. I think I need to give myself time to mourn her. To forgive her. To forgive myself. Because although my head knows it isn't her fault or mine, I still feel guilty.
On the positive side, we are finally getting an official ED clinic in one of Brussels' major hospitals in the fall. My doctor & therapist are both part of the team pioneering it. At last.
Thank you for listening - it's good to know you're out there.
:love
Eva