Lost

[Louisa]

I guess I am posting this here because I don't really know where it would belong - - - if anywhere...:scared

it doesn't matter if no one reads this. i just need to get it out i guess.

- - -


I don't know where I am anymore. My eating disorder isn't distinguishable anymore - not like it used to be. its all kinda got mixed up now after all these years.

why is it important for me to 'label' it?
because i feel like right now, i am not even sure if what i have is an 'eating disorder'. i don't know where it fits - where i fit.
i feel as though its all in my head, all made up because its NOT clear at all that my eating is all disordered:scared:cry:sad

i feel so messed up.
i feel so sad...
so very alone------------


:love,

[buttercup_fairie]

:hugon louisa :hugoffi'm sorry that things are tough.

have you ever thought about WHY you want a label? really thought about it? you fit in the world as lousia, and as a :fishy, a loving person who's always here for others :love

i know that sometimes when you're trying to recover that it seems important to have a label but if you keep a label, what would it get you? would you be better off with be called anorexic or bulimic or whatever?

just some thoughts, take care :love

[HippieChick]

:hugon:hugonLou:hugoff:hugoff

I know sweety, I know

What you say is ringing out loud and clear.

I don't know who I am or where I belong anymore. If ya wanna talk my new e-mail address is amickelinc@att.net. Not much different than the last one, but I didn't set it up my boyfriend did when I was at work:muhaha. He's so fucking unoriginal:muhaha.

Love ya chicky

:love Adrienne

[ARTgrrlOne]

:love :kiss :hugon :cool Lou :cool :hugoff :kiss :love

oh babe. I'm thinking of you...you are never alone... :shy :cute

take good care, k?

:love
Ally :sun

[*star]

:hugon:louisa:hugoff
hey i feel you.. i know i have an ED.. but what is it? first it was ana, then coe, then b/p, and now what? its a mix of all of them! i was trying so hard to label myself that i forgot that it wasnt important to find a label, the important thing is to recover from the ed, whatever kind it may be. i hope you find that out too :happy

[emma lucy]

:hugon Louisa :hugoff

I'm on that planet of the undistinguishable EDs too :sad

Labels are of no importance here.

The main thing is to fight whatever the beast is called, regardless of its name.

If you have an issue with food, then you have an eating disorder. For years classification has been difficult for doctors. So keep :kick with therapy and sort out that head and the physical stuff will fall into place.

Always :ear, always :love

[Louisa]

I actually forgot I had posted this on this board! LOL

I just want to thank you all for those kind and wonderful replies. They are all so much appreciated.

:love,

[Sasha]

Lou

Like you said you could have written my last post - i could have written this.

I ask myself that - WHY is it important to be anorexic or bulimic.

I need to give up some of my behaviours - but i find the loss of identity as a bulimic scary. Why?

Possibly because i feel that i don't belong anywhere else. I can't be identified in any other way that matters. But here i belong to a group. They're called bulimics. I belong. Somehow i fit in.

In a world where nothing else is right and all seems crazy - here is a group i fit into.

So if i no longer fit into this group - well i have nothing then - don't I???

The answer is no. We have ourselves and THAT's what counts. YOU matter hon and YOU are SPECIAL. Remember that.

I love you Lou

[mini_maz]

:hugon baby lou!!!!:hugoff i know wot u mean when some days u spent it floatin in self loathing or starvtion u know those days were coz u arnt eaten u go a little mad and nothing makes sense well chic dont try **** pigieon hole urself just b concerned how ur recover is goin (remeber we must help each other!!!!)well i hope this has helped baby and u know where i am if u EVER need me just mail or call talk **** ya soon lovely loadsa :love:love:love and:hugon:hugoff maz

[blissful]

:hugon Lou :hugoff

Sweetie..the label is not what is important...
What is important is how you are feeling inside, and the way you are handling and reacting to those feelings...

Instead of figuring out what your "label" may be...you would benefit much more from dealing with your feelings and emotions...
You m ay realize, that once you do that, a label will seem much less important...

Hang in there,
:sun jamie :sun

[JenniferO]

:hugon:hugon:loveLouisa:love:hugoff:hugoff

i don't have any really great advice. i wish i did. but i wanted to tell you, none the less, that i love you. and i'm here for you anytime you need me!

take care you! :winky

[pippen]

:hugon Louisa :hugoff
I :love ya sweetie! :hairy

[Glassy]

:hugon :angel :hugoff

you want a label?

how about, "utterly gorgeous and obviously at least :stars partially :stars recovered" :supergrin :bounce :supergrin

give your successes a bit of a polish - don't undermine them

(enough of the lecture :winky )

:kiss