What's Wrong With ME???

[SweetDreamer]

:boom :boom :boom :boom

:trigger :trigger :trigger

Hey :fishy 's...how are you all holding up? My life is so messed up. I've now made the transition from compulsive overeating to bulimia. I made my self throw up (edited)today and I haven't done that for a LONG time. How can I just go from one to the other in a snap of a finger??? :ugh I went from binging all day long to now not eating...and whatever I do eat I just purge. It's like I got "bored" with binging...I don't know whats wrong with me. But after I purged today (Edited) I looked in the mirror and I kinda looked pretty...I know it's sick but before today I couldn't even look in the mirror. :sad You :fishy 's are the only ones who know about my ed and I plan to keep it that way...please just help me along the way...I really need someone to talk to. Sorry all my posts are negative but life is negative so there's not a lot I can do. Take care :fishy 's

:sad Caroline

[Eireann]

Caroline, are you in therapy for your eating disorder? I highly recommend it. YOu need a professional to help you challenge your distorted thoughts about yourself and how you do or don't take care of yourself.

I challenge you on your thought that you look pretty after purging. you really need to talk about this to a professional who can help you through this. YOu said no one else knows - but you really need the support, more support than us fishies can give you from far away.

best of luck,
Eireann

[mini_maz]

baby get help befor epurging twice a day becomes purging ten times a day get therepy :hugon :hugon caroline :hugoff :hugoff
get something or ell someone it aint pretty to havr rotting teeth or be dying
much :love :love :love
*maz*

[SweetDreamer]

:hugon Eireann :hugoff
:hugon *maz* :hugoff

Thanks for caring...it means a lot. No, I don't have a therapist. First of all I couldn't bring myself to tell my parents...I just couldn't...we have a weird relationship. And second I don't know how they would take it...they might not even get me a therapist. And if I did tell them everyone would find out and I couldn't go through each day w/ people (family) looking at me weird. I mean, they would probably think I'm lying cause I'm not underweight. And anyways, I don't want my parents to spend $$$ on therapy...they do enough for me. And I kinda don't even want it. I just hope the :bowl can help me every now and then through my rough times. Thanks again for caring...

:flower Caroline :flower

[SilverChick]

:hugon Caroline :hugoff

I understand what you're going through. I knew I needed help, but no one else saw it because I wasn't underweight, and I didn't want my parents to "look at me weird" or constantly worry about me. I was (and still am) the child that flew/flies just under the radar, doesn't stir up trouble. And I didn't want my "comfort" to be taken from me. So I kept it quiet, knowing all the while what it was doing to me. I would probably still be doing it constantly (b/p) if my mom hadn't caught me one night.
But now I'm glad I'm in therapy. Believe me, it helps. I still struggle, but that provides me with ways of countering this ED and one day I may be able to beat it. Though you may feel guilty about the $$$ issue, your health and well-being is priceless. So don't let that stop you from getting the help you deserve.

Good luck and take things one day at a time. :happy