Emilia
07-08-2001, 06:00 AM
:hugon Hiyall! :hugoff
:trigger (Talk about foods)
It's been some time since I last posted to this forum, but I thought now's the time again :stars
When I was visiting here more actively, I was still in a bad binge-dieting cycle, often bingeing while reading posts. Believe me, I was at the bottom:sad
Then I came across a great book by Dr Jantz: "Hope, Help & Healing for Eating Disorders". I started going through its chapters and even though it sometimes felt silly and useless to answer questions and draw pictures, it was a powerful experience. I was asked to draw a picture of what I would like to look like, and then of what I think I look like now. Sounds simple, but it wasn't. It was so hard and I cried all the time, but those were purifying tears. :edbgone SO many issues I had not been aware of just came to light and I UNDERSTOOD, for the first time, why I do this harm to myself. It is a life-long span from my childhood on. :carpink
As a believing fishy I have been praying a lot and reading the Big Book. That has been most vital, and I would not be here without my Lord today. :angel
Anyway, I cannot tell you how it exactly happened but it did: I am not dieting or bingeing now. I know this is an ongoing threat, I may go back any time, because dealing with intense emotions simply isn't easy for me yet and I easily run to the safety of food still. :bat But I'm going up and learning and so can you. It is SO liberating to be able to eat other than diet foods without guilt and not to freak over food when I go to some happening. And now I can buy just one candy bar and not fill my trolley with all kinds of binge food! :winky Plus eating normal food is so good, I never ate any normal dinners coz I allowed myself to only eat certain foods while on diet (=other times than bingeing), and only eating a dry piece of bread with tuna in water on it simply wasn't enough for my system, now I make lasagne, casseroles, soups, all kinds of normal food and when I get energy from those I don't feel like bingeing. :sun
I am still concerned about my weight, but I refuse to weigh myself, still partly of fear. But I'm working actively to forget weight and concentrate on other issues. :ican
Sorry for this lengthy post, I just wanted to encourage ya people that if someone who has hit the bottom like I have, can start climbing up, so can you! :love
Blessings,
Emilia :bounce
:trigger (Talk about foods)
It's been some time since I last posted to this forum, but I thought now's the time again :stars
When I was visiting here more actively, I was still in a bad binge-dieting cycle, often bingeing while reading posts. Believe me, I was at the bottom:sad
Then I came across a great book by Dr Jantz: "Hope, Help & Healing for Eating Disorders". I started going through its chapters and even though it sometimes felt silly and useless to answer questions and draw pictures, it was a powerful experience. I was asked to draw a picture of what I would like to look like, and then of what I think I look like now. Sounds simple, but it wasn't. It was so hard and I cried all the time, but those were purifying tears. :edbgone SO many issues I had not been aware of just came to light and I UNDERSTOOD, for the first time, why I do this harm to myself. It is a life-long span from my childhood on. :carpink
As a believing fishy I have been praying a lot and reading the Big Book. That has been most vital, and I would not be here without my Lord today. :angel
Anyway, I cannot tell you how it exactly happened but it did: I am not dieting or bingeing now. I know this is an ongoing threat, I may go back any time, because dealing with intense emotions simply isn't easy for me yet and I easily run to the safety of food still. :bat But I'm going up and learning and so can you. It is SO liberating to be able to eat other than diet foods without guilt and not to freak over food when I go to some happening. And now I can buy just one candy bar and not fill my trolley with all kinds of binge food! :winky Plus eating normal food is so good, I never ate any normal dinners coz I allowed myself to only eat certain foods while on diet (=other times than bingeing), and only eating a dry piece of bread with tuna in water on it simply wasn't enough for my system, now I make lasagne, casseroles, soups, all kinds of normal food and when I get energy from those I don't feel like bingeing. :sun
I am still concerned about my weight, but I refuse to weigh myself, still partly of fear. But I'm working actively to forget weight and concentrate on other issues. :ican
Sorry for this lengthy post, I just wanted to encourage ya people that if someone who has hit the bottom like I have, can start climbing up, so can you! :love
Blessings,
Emilia :bounce