I want to teach yoga, but...

[Simone]

Hello :fishys

I am thinking very seriously about applying to enroll in an
Iyengar Yoga teacher training program. I feel a bit humiliated, however,
because when I began studying, my teachers had high hopes for me. But
things happened, and I began to withdraw socially, and then left my classes and rid myself of all my yoga books, props, etc.

No one from my class ever called me or wrote to ask what had happened. (Maybe they thought that I snubbed them???) This hurt a lot and when I ran into my main teacher on the street one day, the exchange was rather chilly.:cry

I am shy and even socially phobic, but I have always been friendly and good-natured. I studied yoga formally and intensively for several years, and then have practiced on my own for the past three years.

I fear that if I go back, I won't be good enough, or holy enough, or meet expectations. I am often tired and weak from years of struggling with the ed, and I tend to try to conserve my energies by not doing things that are painful (this includes poses and social interactions.)

I worry about being overlooked if I am not the best, because of my inter-personal limitations.

:flower

[Trickster]

[COLOR=purple]:hugonSIMONE:hugoff

hey sweetie!!

well......here is my advice to you:

:starsthis sounds like something that you are REALLY interested in, and that you LOVE :love
SOOOOOO,......

DON'T LET OTHERS STAND IN THE WAY OF YOUR HAPPINESS!!!:bear

this is YOUR life, and if the people at the place where you studied before are snobbish and mean, than go to another school!:stars

:starsyou should never let something like this stand in the way of your dreams, because a few years down the road you may regret not taking this step.:winky

whats done is done.
the past is in the past.....now move forward and start your life anew.

good luck with whatever you decide...i'm sure you will make an AWESOME yoga teacher!:supergrin

:flower*hEAtHeR*:flower

[purple_tao]

:flower Simone :flower

My dear, I'm going to throw (right back into your own face :sarcasm!!) one of your own quotes!!!

"Everytime you find yourself COMPARING, remember this is not yoga"

.........sound familiar :muhaha!! Simone, you sound like you're trying to live up to the class, not YOURSELF!! This does not sound like your other posts!

Remember, the ulitimate goal of yoga is to achieve the experience of truth. A clarity of vision, supreme focus, and a feeling of oneness with your spirituality. This ideal state is called samadhi and involves consciousness to such a heightened degree that individual ego falls away and oness with the universal force of love is achieved.
IT IS THE STATE OF PURE BLISS.

I would honestly think about putting your pride away (the humility you feel) and go back to the class. Like hEAtHeR said, don't let others stand in your way of happiness. This is your life; not theirs!!! GO FOR IT, GIRL!! :supergrin!

Me thinks that by you going back to this program, it COULD help with you :kick your ED !!

Fly, Simone........... take that chance :flower

:peace to you, my friend

:love

[farmgirl]

Dear Simone,

When I replied to your post a few days about Yoga, and said that I am going to try it, you told me. . .

(Everytime you find yourself comparing, remember that is not Yoga.)

I bring this up NOT to berate you, but because you expressed some concern about being good enough, holy enough, not the best. I'm certainly no expert, but I think that holding a pose, while uplifting and impressive, is not as important as where your heart is. I barely know you, yet I am aware of you love of Yoga - you speak of it so tenderly, yet with a passion that is enviable.

I am sure that your teachers had high hopes for you because they see potential and possibility. Perfection is fleeting, and it's not a state we can maintain. The fact that you had to stop the training once before may not have the connotations that you suspect. The chilly exchange with your instructor may have been due to embarassment on his/her part , for not making any contact when you left. One thing I have learned as a COE is that other people aren't thinking about 'me' nearly as much as I thought they were - that's a part of the illness.

Perhaps you could write a letter to the school (?) that you attended before, and express you feelings and concerns about the past, as well as the future. Then, you could follow up with a call, if they don't call you first. Writing a letter would allow you to gather your thoughts, say precisely what you need to say, and ask for another opportunity.

The other thing that comes to mind is that like often attracts like. I'm thinking that persons who are introverted and less comfortable with social situations might be drawn to you as an instructor - less pressure to 'be different', more focus on the purpose of the class. (See, I already see you as an instructor!) Perhaps that is your purpose, to bring others into Yoga, so they can begin to open up to the calm. I would guess that a cellular calming would make social situations easier for someone who is rather introverted.

I didn't mean to ramble so - I just wanted you to know that I believe in you, and I know that you can find success in anything that speaks to you so powerfully. I hope this was helpful, and I hope I didn't speak out of place. As I said, I don't know a lot about Yoga - I just have this sense that it is a part of you.

I hope this goes well for you. . .

-Laura

[farmgirl]

Er, I didn't see Purple Tao's post - I hope you don't feel attacked - we just see that this is the thing for you!!

-Laura

[farmgirl]

By the way (sorry, I'll quit after this!) I was in the pool this afternoon and did a couple of poses in the water. It was amazing. I was able to hold a pose indefinitely (no small feat for a very large person) and really concentrate on the energy flow through my body, and spend less effort trying not to fall over. It was calming, and I wouln't have even thought to try it a week ago.

OK, I think three consecutive replies is enough - I'll let someone else have a turn now. . .

-Laura

[Simone]

:flower Heather
:flower Purple
:flower Laura

Thank you, each of you, for the support and reminders of who I am. I have bad days and just lose myself. (It's the nature of this beast, the ed.)

Namaste (the light in me sees the light in you.)

:flower

[Starlightgirlie]

:hugon :flower Simone :flower :hugoff

It sounds like you really :love Yoga, and I think that you should absolutely go for it.

I agree with the other fishies that yoga is not about comparing, and I also see in you a lot of leadership qualities and a lot of posibility to inspire and help others. It sounds like teaching yoga would be a wonderful venue for this.

Believe in yourself, because I believe in you and I know that you can do this!