What Are Your Beliefs?

[SFishy]

Just so everyone can get to know each other a little more...

Without commenting on anyone elses beliefs, what are your own spiritual beliefs and practices? Were you raised that way or did you "decide" on your religious convictions as an adult? What comfort or benefit do you get out of your own spiritual beliefs?

Take care of YOU

[bat]

I was born and still am a Catholic. I am very proud to be a CHRISTian and truly believe without the help of the Lord, I would not be here today. I used to question how a child would go through what they do(abuse) when God is there. But I realized and truly believed He did not desert me instead him helped me survived.
There have been many times when I should have died from this disease and I am still here. With the miracle of CHRIST, I have three healthy wonderful sons.
I AM PROUD THAT JESUS IS MY SAVIOR.

:bat

[queen bee]

i have a mixture of beliefs......the faith that most 'fits' my beliefs is wicca. i read a lot bout other religions, and respect them all. I think that there is no one 'right' religion, or one way to the deity. We all have to make our own way to wherever it is we wnat to go.

[Ickleclaire]

i was raised CofE, but i quit sunday school when i was like eight because it really, really bored me, and i felt as though i was being talked down to by the teachers :ugh i go to a CofE school that likes to take us to church as often as possible, and i kept throwing myself into religion in an attempt to fill that hole u get when ur missing something.

it never worked. but then, when i was about thirteen, i discovered wicca. it fitted me then, and i read a lot, learnt a lot, and gradually became more generally pagan, rather than wiccan. for a year i followed the religio romana (ancient roman gods/festivals), but now i'm following the hellenismos (ancient greek gods/festivals), and it really is like coming home. i believe in lots of different gods, all representing a different facet of human life. they are protectors, who will listen to u in need, but are also very anthropormorphic in their behaviour - i don't believe in the archetypal unblemished god. i believe in magick, and giving as good as u get - i moved away from wicca because i could never see myself adhering to the rede (not that i practise dark evil badness though :winky - i just can't follow the principle of everything being good)

so that's me. neone who'd like o chat - maiawitch@beliefnet.com

eudaimonia!

much :love *hugs* and :clover
ickle :touched

[thinking]

((((:sfishy & :bowl))))

This must be a sign...! Just before the Board went down I wrote a long reply to one of Purple Tao's posts. I don't think anyone got to read it before everything was lost. And now I find this post which gives me a chance to throw the whole thing back in (yes, I saved a copy :smartfishy :supergrin). It may not give the entire picture of my beliefs, but rather how I feel about them and a little bit of my reality, so I'd take this opportunity to introduce myself a little to this board. The qoute at the top was part of PT's original post.
This may be long, and I won't blame anyone for not reading it - I just need to write it...
This post struck a lot of things in me - especially this:

"One of the problems we face in accessing our spiritual self is all the things we have been told that we should believe"

You see, when it comes to spiritual beliefs I have never been told to believe anything. My parents are not religious people, but they never told ne NOT to believe anything either. When I was fourteen I went to confirmation studies, which unfortunately didn't give me many answers. However, befor the Confirmation you "had to" go to church a required number of times. Hm, I probably need to explain this a little further. In Sweden where I live, only a few (perhaps no more than one) percent of the people attend church on a regular basis. I personally don't know anybody that does. It is however still a tradition to baptize children, confirm teenagers, get married and have funerals at church. Not because people believe in God, but because they think the tradition and the rituals are beautiful and dignified. And out of habit. Perhaps this was the reason my confirmation studies were so poor - even the priest knew that most kids only did it out of habit and family tradition. Anyway - you were required to attend church x number of times before confirmation. And I don't know how, but somehow I aqquired some kind of faith during those visits. I was baptized right before my confirmation. (Since my parents are not Christians, they didn't want to baptize me when I was a baby but wanted me to choose for myself).
Well, anyway- back to topic :cute. Since I have "sought out" my faith myself I do not feel that I have been told by others what to believe, but sometimes I can't decide whether I really DO believe in God or I just WANT TO believe. Nobody ever taught me that God, in fact, exists.
Sometimes I get SO confused, because I want to be honest with myself, and God, but I just can't decide if I believe in the Bible, in the Gospel, that Jesus really was the Son of God, etc. But if NOT, then WHY do I go to church, what makes me read the Bible, why do I at times attempt to pray? Since noone else ever tried to make me? And if I do these things because I really do believe, then why do I feel like I fake it sometimes, why do I doubt myself? Or my faith. Perhaps it is because I never had to stand up for it. During the twenty-eight years of my life, perhaps three people have ever asked me if I believe in God. And I have been embarrassed to admit that. It is really important for me to be perceived as intelligent, and in my environment the spontaneous reaction would be "HOW can any thinking person believe in THAT?" And I haven't felt ready to start fighting all the logical arguments that people can bring up to prove how utmost ridiculous it is for a modern person to believe in the word of the Bible... Religious people are regarded with suspicion, even contempt. A general perception is that you have to be stupid (as in low IQ) to believe in God "the old fashioned way". Or that people who join religious groupsdo it out of desperation, cause they are such failures that they do not fit in anywhere else, but the religious people HAVE TO accept anyone because of their faith. Religion is not something you talk about other than in very general phrases like "of course there might be some kind of meaning to life" or the classical "I believe in SOMETHING, but (of course) not in an old man sitting on a cloud..." Problem is - I kind of do. To me it is not so important that you can't PROVE that Jesus actually, physically walked on water or arose from the dead... To me faith is just that - faith. To believe is to accept that everything can't be proved, needn't be proved. But at the same time this is where I get confused. I choose to believe those things, but do I REALLY? Maybe no. Maybe I do not believe that Jesus physical body became alive after it had been dead for days. Does that mean I don't believe in God? I mean, I DO believe that Jesus was his Son, and that he died for our Sins, and that he is still with us...
I'm not sure if I can explain this dilemma any better, but it keeps bugging me. And I have absolutely noone to discuss the matter with - they'd think I'd gone crazy. I realize that I have painted a pretty dark picture of the spiritual climate in Sweden - at least when it comes to Christianity- so I should probably point out that this is MY perception, seen from my academical, intellectual, middle-class-environment perspective...
Even if it doesn't make sense, it felt really good to tell :shy
:greenfish Sara

PS Amy - If this post causes the board goes down again, you'll know how to blame :winky

[purple_tao]

Namaste :angel :fishy

Like Sara, I was raised without any religious beliefs. My parents "wanted me to decide for myself about religion." I tell my parents now, you didn't give me anything to choose: you only gave me ONE thing (the secular world). Where was the other choice?

While I was a teenager (eons ago) and getting heavily into drugs and alcohol, cruising around the streets, my friend and I met a street pastor. You know, the guy who hangs around where the kids are trying to convert them to Christianity. "God loves you!" he screams at everyone. Well, my friend and I talked with him and I accepted Jesus that night. I guess in word, not in my heart. Altho, I did quit the drugs, alcohol, mindless sex, I started going to church, reading my bible, doing all the "Christian" things one is supposed to do when converted. That lasted for a few years. Since it was actually meaningless to begin with, it's no surprise. I didn't have that "on fire" feeling so I started looking around. Besides that, I didn't like the way I was treated by other Christians. They were all "holier than thou". Yech...

Zoom ahead to about six years ago....... this is when I REALLY began my spiritual journey. I started reading and talking to people of ALL faiths and religions and came to this:

How can one religion, one way of worshipping be the correct one? Who gives that authority? If every religion points to the others and says "they're wrong-we are the ONLY way" who the heck do you believe????

I think it's more important that you DO have a spiritual life and keep seeking life's questions (and answers) than it is to mold yourself into someone else's opinions and beliefs.

I HATE LABELS, so to pick a "religious belief" I have is difficult. Labels put you in boxes. You are confined to that set of beliefs and those exclusively. But, so others may get some idea as to where I'm coming from, these are the closest to my beliefs:

Conservative Christian: I believe the bible was written by God and that Jesus is the Son of God. He is our Savior. The bible is our handbook, a set of rules to live by. It teaches us about life and answers some "why's". I believe in Christianity but not a lot of the people that this religion is pumping out. A lot of the Christians I have met have twisted the bible to fit THEIR beliefs and wants and are pompous. But, NOT ALL, so please do not be offended :happy

Buddhism: I practice Mahayana Buddhism (or you may be more familiar with the term "zen"). Teaches more about compassion than any other religion I have found. I find it also teaches us to help others physically, mentally and spiritualty more than other religions. We are all interdependent!! I do my morning meditations every day (or at least I try). This is my time to be alone with my creator. Buddhism also teaches "mindfullness"; to be aware of what's going on at all times.

Taoism : (a philosophy more than a religion). What draws me to Taoism is that it's main principle is BALANCE!!! Everything in balance. Not too hot nor cold; not to high or low; not black nor white; not fast nor slow, etc. Seek peace of mind. I've learned that everything in life has a reason; we need to recognize that and work with it, and LEARN from it. Taoism teaches lessons from nature. The Chinese use painted bamboo as a spritual exercise. It is graceful, upright and strong. Hollow inside, receptive and humble, it bends with the wind but does not break. LEARN !!! Taosim is teaching me about my bulimia and self-esteem. Tao people accept themselves as they are. They don't waste their energy in self-criticism. Self-acceptances is peace. Trying to pound that in to my head :sarcasm !!

So, those are my beliefs.

Look forward to chattin with ya'll
:love

p.s. sara: oooh, sorry you lost my post. Don't computer suck sometimes :ugh . Nice answer you shot back with!!
:squish

[Eilis]

I am Pagan and have been since I was a child. Although this has been carried down on my mothers side for generations, I am still the one who chose it. My "teachers" taught open mind and question everything! Even when I was in Catholic school, I had a great nun who taught the same. At a young age I found myself studying western civ and world religions - desperate to find some sort of validation for what I was feeling. Plagued by that question "But what if I am wrong?" "What if there IS a hell and I go there because I believed the wrong thing?!"

What I learned is this: I believe as long as we are positive people learning our life's lessons to further our karmic path, whatever spiritual path we are taking and Whomever is really in charge, we our on the right path. So I am Pagan, a practicing Wiccan, and I have been totally confidant in this path for many, many years. I have found it to provide the best beliefs for me, and the energy and spirit I find around me thru my daily practices and in circles, sabbats etc is more than enough validation for me. I DO feel one with this world, thru nature, and thru practice. Most of all, I feel peace in it.

Thanks for the post Amy! BLESSED BE.

:love
Dory

[*Lissa*]

Well, thanks to Sara's explanation of the religious situation in Sweden, I won't have to fill you in too much on that - :hugonTACK sötnos!:hugoff - except for mentioning the fact that until last year, the Protestant church was state church. Which is why most Swedes are by habit brought up as Christians, baptized at birth etc.

I was raised a Christian, although not in a particularly religious family. They didn't force religion upon me, but nevertheless I never really questioned whether or not I should do confirmation studies and take communion. We went to church on Christmas, and I still like to, because I like the songs and because it's a tradition.

Having said that, I have always been negative to institutionalised religion, by which I mean any organised, dogmatic religion with rules for how to believe in order to be a "real" believer. I cannot understand who has any right to tell me how to interpret the Bible (or any holy book), how to live, love, and believe, and to judge other people on those terms.

For me, the central message of Christianity is (or should be) love, acceptance, and forgiveness. That is not the case today. "Love is fine, as long as you love the right person in the right way" is more like it. I also have a problem with the Bible, because of all the books that were removed from it in order to streamline the Christian faith. Of the Gospels, I think the most interesting is the gospel of Thomas.

My belief is formed from a multitude of impulses, and very idiosyncratic. I cannot believe that Jesus was Christ, the son of God, so I'm not a Christian. I don't believe in one patriarchal God; I prefer referring to a Goddess, although I believe more in a general spiritual presence, in everything living. But I like to think that there are various deities that symbolise aspects of that prescence. If I were to say what I'm the closest to, it's pagan and wiccan beliefs, with a touch of Buddhism.

I hold love, tolerance, respect for all living and "live and let live" central to my belief. I do not practise magic (because I don't know how to - if any of you practising wiccans/pagans know of resources to find out more, please let me know), but I believe in magic. There is more to our reality than meets the eye, but choosing to distance yourself from the magic in the world, will of course mean you'll not be able to see it. I am open to things that defy my knowledge of the world, things that go beyond the seemingly logical. The world would be a much more drab and uninteresting place if it weren't for the magic (or supernatural, but that term has become so charged that I hesitate to use it, and what I refer to is in fact natural). I believe that you get as good as you give, that respecting yourself is essential for being able to respect life itself and that all living is interdependent and connected. Which I why respecting nature is central to me. There is evil in this world; how else would there be good? One cannot exist without the other, because of the balance.

Blessed be, and bright weavings to you all. May the Weaver grant you light :sun

[KShine]

I was raised a jehovah's witness. :ugh Never could celebrate any holidays not even our own birthdays as children. This I believe is alot of the reason for my ed. Because of this we were singled out EVERYWHERE. At school we were not even allowed to salute the flag. Laughed at and humiliated at school by other children.

Now I am a christian. I was baptized almost three years ago. I believe in God and I believe He sent His son Jesus to earth to take all of our sins by dying on the cross and because of Him we are forgiven.

:loveKShine:cute

[Millificent]

... which stands for Jewish American Pagan :cheesy

I was raised Jewish, because my mom's family is somewhat religious. Although my dad's side is also Jewish, none of them are practicing Jews. Except for other people's bar miztvah's and weddings, my dad hasn't been to temple since his own bar miztvah (which was only done to make his grandmother happy).

Now, my family still celebrates Passover and Hanukkah, but mainly as excuses to get the family together for a good meal.

My heritage as a Jew is very important to me. I am glad that I had to go to Hebrew school, because it gave me a chance to learn about the history of my ancestors.

But when I was seventeen, I attended a Wiccan ceremony, and it was the first time I'd every felt a Divine Presence. Although I'd always believed in G-d, it was definitely the first time that religion meant anything to me.

So now I'm Eclectic Wiccan. I am still a monotheist, because of my Jewish upbringing, but I do believe in both the male and female aspects of the Lord/Lady.

:stars Millie

[emma lucy]

I was raised as a Catholic and went to a Catholic primary school. However, I went to an Anglican secondary school and a secular sixth form.
I always sang in church till my mid-teens, when I began to question my faith and whether there truly was a God.
I don't think I shall ever lose the Catholic guilt that was instilled in me.
I now believe in a higher and greater being. I believe there must be a purpose to my life here on Earth.
I am very interested in other religions. Hinduism and Buddhism have always fascinated me. The idea of reincarnation and the circle of life.
The whole :idea of spirituality is a difficult concept to get one's head around but I believe faith is important - no matter what you place your faith in.

[BrotherBear]

I was raised in a mainstream WASP church. Early on I felt that I was searching for a spiritual base. I looked into almost all of the world religions, found some things in each that felt right, but each religion had aspects that I could not fully accept. I am not a Christian. I made the claim of Buddhism for many years, but for the most part of the last four or five years I have felt closer to a Native American set of beliefs. Just within the last few weeks I have been more focused on Taoism. I feel a very strong pull to nature, and the feeling that all living things are connected and that a force permeates all of creation. "Let the Force be with you." Brother:bear

[amysanangel]

I have pretty traditional Christian beliefs. I’m a Southern Baptist, although since we’re so far from the hub of things in the south, our church is not really a stereotypical southern Baptist church. God is my peace, my rock… Without Him guiding and protecting me, I would have died (literally) a looong time ago. My church has also given me a great “family” who has stuck by me more than my biological family through everything…

[babybear]

Oh yea! I am proud to be a Wiccan, have been for quite a few years now, going with my best friend on Saturday to celebrate summer soltice in vermont with a big group of us!!!!!!!!

Love
Becca

[Starlightgirlie]

I'm really enjoying reading all of the responses to this post! We have such a diverse group of people here and I love that we're all thinking and sharing about this!

I was raised Luthern, and my grandfather was even a Luthern minister so I was a faithful protestant through confirmation. Luckily, my parent's have always given me their blessing to think and question things, and while I enjoyed many aspects about practicing as a Luthern, a lot of it seemed not quite right for me for a long time. Therefore, once I no longer *had* to attend church, and I honestly didn't feel like I was getting much out of going, I didn't.

For a while, I grappled with this and took a hiatus from religion. I attended college, studied philosophy, devoted way too much time to my ed :sad, and let it fall by the wayside.

Then, a little over a year ago, I began to pick up a few books on Buddhism. One, ironically I had purchased a few years ago simply because it had "Peace" in the title, and this has always been something I've been passionate about. It's funny, but somehow, from the pages of these books that I would have never *looked for* or planned on reading or getting engaged in, I began to find a philosophy about life and humanity that fit for me and made sense. I was both surprised and intrigued and began to read everything I could get my hands on, and visited a few local Buddhist centers. Fast forward to a year later. I've been so fortunate to find something that *fits* for me, spiritually. While I can't say that I'm completely free of my ed, I am so far from the girl who was lost and without hope and I am now so much more aware and gentle with myself and others. I've been lucky enough to see Thich Nhat Hahn and the Dalai Lama in the past year, and it has all been really inspiring and eye opening for me. I am so much more at peace and happier than I thought possible :peace

I really believe that most religions are aiming for the same thing, and that we all have to find our *fit* with one or many. And, I agree with the others who feel that by getting too caught up in labeling our religion, we do an injustice to ourselves as it's not so important what we call it but how we live.

Argh, I've rambled too long, but I truly love discussing this type of thing. I look forward to more dicussion and reading more about you guys.

Metta and :love to all,

[Forget-Me-Not]

I've been a Catholic all my life... I went to a Catholic primary school, but my secondary school has no religious links at all, which actually helped me to develop a greater understanding of my faith - typical comment being "I don't see how you can believe in God/Jesus/transsubstantiation etc etc". Anyway, I'm burbling...

Lots of :love
Forget-Me-Not

[doggie]

:hugon :bowl :hugoff I believe that all paths have some merit if the message feels true to me and many religions have something to offer me including some earth based beliefs. I combine prayers and practices from all the major religions and feel God's spirit still resides in everything on this earth including me. I read everything that I can that offers new information and insight from all sources and I believe the path to God is to be found right inside me and if I continue to work towards knowing myself and look deep I will find Him/Her. :peace and :love :dog

[twodogs]

****/********/********

Like many on this board I am a spiritual mongrel--raised agnostic, daughter of a Catholic-Jewish union, just like my husband. In the past five years we have become very unorthodox Jews. We study Torah once a week for three hours, my daughters are in Hebrew school, and I read many Jewish texts. I am still in the thank-God-I-have-faith/what-kind-raving-lunatic-would-believe-this? stage. I love the tibetan buddhist phrase: "The love of the truth keeps us on the spot all the time." I like the Christian concept of redemption. I went with Judaism because culturally I'm a Jew-claiming the sense of humor and the bagels--and because I belonged in a religion that encourages me to question everything. And because I desperately needed the focus on something outside my self. Oh, and I collect Zuni fetishes. Does that count?

[GeminiNZ]

I went to Catholic spiritual lessons for many years but had too many unanswered questions and never felt any kind of connection with the teachings, so dropped out when I reached my teens.

For many years I considered myself an atheist. But occasionally wondered if there was more to spirituality than the stuff I had been taught.

Then, a couple of years ago, I found out that I am actually Jewish by birth. The family never discussed it as my grandmother didn't want anyone to know. She spent most of her life wanting to be a society lady and being Jewish didn't fit with her image of what a society lady was, so she became an Anglican and bullied the rest of the family into "ignoring" their heritage as well. And my mother, although knowing, certainly never discussed it. I found out after the last of the old aunties died - some of my cousins knew as their mothers, unlike mine, had not kept the "family secret" to themselves.

This has been quite a confusing revelation for me. Culturally I feel a need to identify as being Jewish (it is who I am after all) but I have a major problem with the religious side. You don't go from being an atheist to a believer overnight. And there are many practices and ideas that I just can't relate to in any way. But there is something inside me feeling a pull towards some kind of spirituality (hence recent questions about taoism, buddhism, paganism, etc.)

I am now feeling a little confused about what I feel and what I believe and who I am.

[Dagmar]

My spiritual beliefs have evolved through a rather tortuous process. I had no formal religious training as a child. Since we often lived on military bases, I could actually go to the base chapel services by myself or friends which I sometimes did (all my friends were at church anyway). I went through a period of being an evangelical christian, followed almost directly by a long period of atheism. Once I got into recovery, I tried established religions again for a while but have now ended up witht he following beliefs:

:sunSomething does control the universe and it is not me.

:sunThere is a point to all this, I just don't know what it is.

:sunEverything happens for a purpose and that purpose is benign (no matter how evil individual events appear to be).

:sunGod (or higher power) is going to do as he sees fit no matter what BUT he also has the power to change my attitude or anyone's attitude. When I pray, I mostly pray for the willingness to accept all the shit heading right for my face. I pray for relief from obsession with food and a daily abstinance from compulsive overeating. When I pray for other people I usually don't give God any specific instructions. I say, please be with so-no-so as they struggle with whatever it is they are struggling with.

(If this looks familiar, I actually copied from a post I made on another board)

[halfpint]

I'm a strong catholic :grin, have been all my life..I went to a catholic elementary and high school(and i am proud of that lol :winky)
amen! :stars
:love
jen

[priya devi]

Hehe... :sarcasm I was raised... nothing... :ugh (read thinking's or *Lissa*'s post for an explanation to that, I am Swedish too...)

But I have always had a very strong faith in God.

The natural place to turn to for putting that faith in a context was of course the Swedish Lutheran church.

I did, and found an amazing female pastor who really took me under her wings. (:sarcasm My poor parents couldn't understand what they had done to get a religious kid...)

Then when I was around thirteen I became very active in youth groups, both locally, and then the central organisation for my city.

At fifteen I came in contact with a more carismatic group and threw myself head first into that. Fanatic, I dare say...

Tried to convert my friends, tried so hard to be a good Christian. But I never could. Always had it hanging over me - I was never good enough. Didn't have enough faith, didn't pray enough, didn't convert people, didn't read the Bible enough....

Too much pressure - and there came ED knocking on the door. :sad Wonderful - now I was sinning by starving myself too... :sad

After a while I just gave up on everything Christian... :ugh Became the rebel and started reading about Buddhism, bought a little Buddha statue, had crystals and incence on an altar, visited the Hare Krishna's.... everything. Mostly to do everything that wasn't Christian, but also 'cause I really was seeking.

I definitely belong to the people who need a structured spiritual practice in their lives to feel happy.

So while hanging out quite often at the vegetarian Hare Krishna restaurant, I discussed a lot with the people there. I bought books. And then I finally actually read the Bhagavad-Gita - and what a fantastic book! I found so many answers that Christianity never could give me - and believe me, I've read the Bible in search for those answers so many times... The Gita was just this treasure of wisdom, I was marvelling at every page.

So right now I am reading and reading about Krishna conciousness and it is soooo interesting and gives me sooo much! :supergrin I have not yet decided if this is really for me forever, but for now - it is what I am and believe in.

Basically:

:bullet I am not this body. I am a spirit soul.

:bullet God loves me, and by learning how to love Him, I can be happy. Really happy.

Just the first part is quite a tough lesson to learn... :ugh Especially for someone who for so long has determined her self-worth by what her body looks like or feels like....

:rainbow
Priya Devi

[CerealKiller]

Something I wrote once that sums it all up...

'It is a lonely life, but there are moments of intense beauty. I think sometimes God is lonely too, and I can feel his loneliness, and then together, we are not so alone. I think this is why He created creation. To end the loneliness through which he had lived an eternity. It's the secret no one ever tells about God...that He needs us as much as we need Him. We allow Him to feel, give him a corporeal existence through which He can grow and expand. The matter of the universe is His body. We are all a part of Him and He is a part of us. We are the same organism, and the loneliness we feel is the loneliness of our separate parts, knowing on one level that we are all part of One entity, remembering the time before there was matter which gave us separate bodies and scattered us throughout the universe.

The Big Bang was the inception of God from a single spirit into a mass of separate entities that were allowed to grow and explore. As the cells in my body do not know they are part of me, so most fo the entities exist, going about their business, unaware of how truly they are part of something greater, part of God.

To us, He gave more than just a physical existence through which He could feel and experience creation and his own love; he gave us a bit of His own consciouness and an awareness of our own existence and his. It was the greatest gift of Trust that has ever been given. He gave us our own consciousness and then the free will to do with it as we see fit. Our cells do not have free will. Imagine if they did, and they could roam through our bodies, doing whatever they felt like whenever they felt like it! Now you see the trust God has given us. We are part of him and contain him, and yet we are separate. We can do what we like with Him, including hurting him. He knew this possibility existed and yet he gave us free will anyway. Why? Because God's nature is love, and yet love cannot be felt without sharing it. Because love is meant to be shared. In order to <i>feel</i> his own love, God first had to share it. And so He shared it with us in the hopes that we would return it. And thus he too could experience love. For when He was alone, he had much love to give, but no one to give it to. The animals and the trees possessed no consciousness and thus could not return his love. They were too much a part of Him, cells that performed their functions without awareness. They birthed and ate and lived and died, and God did all these things with them, but they did not love him because they did not know him. He was always in them and with them and the idea of separation did not even exist. So to humanity he gave consciousness and an awarness outside of his own. And in this way He was not alone anymore. We were no longer obedient cells in his body. We were Beings with a consciousness...like Him. ('Made in his image' as one record phrases it.) We had come from him like children, and yet like children, we were individuals in our own rights.

God wants to feel and live through creation, and yet this need is met whereever there is matter and life. Only conscious beings can provide Him with the greatest gift of all: the ability to love Him. For we have stood separate from Him and looked back upon His face and His memory, and if we see him truly we can love Him. And until there were other Beings, God never had another to love Him or ease his loneliness. People do not think of a perfect being as being vulnerable, but I do. If one were not vulnerable and had never felt pain, how could one feel compassion?

Perfection is not the absence of pain. Pain of a certain sort stems only from loving too much.

And love such as this, is, I believe, tremendously vulnerable. Vulnerable beautiful being with so much love to give and no one to give it to, and from His loneliness and love and need, He birthed an entire universe of wonder and life.

Nature is a pattern, and every pattern repeats itself from the ground up, in a perfect circle, all leading back to the place of origin, and the place of origin is God.

God is good. God is everything. Says so little and says so much.

:ufo

[thinking]

Hey!

I'm SO happy (and relieved) to see you back :love :happy! Hope things are OK.

MUCH :love,
Sara

PS did you get my snail-mail?

[Simone]

CK - that is very beautiful. Thank you (I'll refer to it again.):rainbow

As for me, I was raised Catholic by my grandmother, but I was very rebellious (both with my dear grandmother:love and in the Catholic school which I attended.)

In nineteen-ninety-four, I heard a radio program about Mahayana Buddhism and began to attend classes and took a guru. Unfortuately, my teacher (who is occidental) did something very ugly and humiliating to me, and it threw my life into shambles. I began to use food (again) as a way to cope with my pain, and I also spent myself into bankruptcy. :cry

However, I learned how to meditate quite well, and I also began studying Yoga at this time (which I found myself quite good at and enjoyed profoundly!) But depressions and the ED has interfered with my Yoga, as I became more and more isolated :cousinit

As I begin to recover, I am now reading the Bhagavad-Gita again, and the Sutras of Patanjali. :flower:flower

In my anger and despair, I gave away all of my treasured books, so I'll have to buy them again.

I've longed to be a Yoga teacher, but lost faith in myself and the world. :slimy

But my faith is strong, and I am beginning, very slowly, to practice and give again.
:flower

[buttercup_fairie]

:hugon amy :hugoffi was raisedcatholic but i'm don't believe in all of it. i lean towards reincarnation more. my mom's a real strong catholic(as is my sister) but since the whole ED, i haven't been able to try to reach that point. i was never a church goer(only went when i was forced to go) and i've never been one to like other's that forced their beliefs on me which is why my mom changed churchs(she now goes to the one my sister went to )i think she hoped that another church would make me want to go

i'm not fond of some of the catholic beliefs and thoughts partly due to their closed mindedness(not all, i'm just talking about the church i grew up at)but mostly cause of their views on gays and bi's(my sister and one of my close friends are both bi) which is why my sister changed churches and i don't like how they don't believe in reincarnation.

i believe that god is real, that he made us and exicts but since i'm having a hard time and i'm "mad" at him i just need time away and since i started taking time, i've felt closer to him which i like :grin

[farmgirl]

What are my beliefs?

Lately, I believe I'm lost and hopeless.
I feel fearful, confused and sad.

Last, but not least, I believe this is a temporary situation

=Laura

[silly]

I was raised in the native american/Catholic faiths. so i don't where i stand on anything.. lol

[Anais]

I was raised Christian, and have attended the same church since before I was even born! :surprise For a while, during my rebellious-teen phase, I dabbled in Buddhism and Paganism, but it didn't fulfill me. For a few years my faith was empty - whatever faith I had was pretty much dead. I didn't think about it. It wasn't until just over a year ago that I began to question it again and since then it has become my rock. I believe in Christ and he has done great things for me - given me strength I didn't think I had. Since I've been paying more attention to my spiritual needs and become more aware of what God is doing in my life, it's given me much more of a sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in life. I'm very happy. :grin

[honey_bear]

I was raised in a protestant church. My family members are all Christians who belong mostly to the Baptist Church. For the first eighteen years of my life, I was in church practically every Sunday and Wednesday without fail. When I went away to college, my attendence of church slacked majorly. I feel that I am in the process of trying to find my way. I know that I am still a Christian - albeit my devotion is not as strong as it once was. A part of me mourns the fact that I have become separated from the part of myself. I long to return to the point where I had a stronger faith, for it helped me through so much.

[honey_bear]

:hugonCK:hugoff
I was just scrolling through the other replies and read yours. I found it to be quite inspiring. Thank you for sharing.
:love
Laura

[tutter]

I am a Christian, I was raised in a Catholic family and excepted Christ in my heart when I six. My relationship with Jesus was something I thought had to be a secret because my family thought only Priest had that kind of tie to the Lord and they were the go between. So it was differnt. I don't think you have to labeled a certain title like Catholic or Baptist, but the main important thing for me to remember is that who is sitting on the throne in heaven, Its Jesus. So I never say I am like Baptist, even though I attend that church because I am first a Chirstian, a child of God:happy. :lovetutter:rat:bear

[tessi]

Well, I am a Christian...I have very deep personal relationship with God and have ever since I was a little girl. I always felt special that way. I celebrate my spirituality as a Catholic because I love the tradition of the Church and truly feel the presence of Jesus Christ in the Eucharist.

I love exploring the faith of others...I think God speaks to us differently and I respect and appreciate others' faith journeys. I have many friends of many faiths and I learn from them all!

I have a web site that describes my spirituality (but says NOTHING about my eating disorder!) Email me if you would like the address...
Tessi

[VerboseMermaid]

I was raised in a family very ambivalent about their religious beliefs: My mom was born Jewish, but she converted to Catholicism when I was very young--and has still not told her parents.

The strange thing is that my grandparents, although Jewish, have always celebrated Christian holidays such as Christmas and Easter, with only the occasional perfunctory lugging out of an antiquated menorah or a token mention of our Jewish heritage. Yet, my mom believes that they would disown her (or at the least, be very upset) if they found out she had converted. :ugh

Anyway, I was raised as a very "casual Christian," if you will. We never attended church except on some holidays, and I was never baptised, confirmed, communioned, etc. In fact, I was taught very little about anything having to do with religion.

Subsequently, since my teen years, I've held a disdain for organized religion--albeit, not solely based on my own confused upbringing, but more on my personal beliefs. I've gotten into debate after debate with people over religion, and I've always planned to bring up my children (when I have them) with the freedom to choose their own religion.

Now, however, as I enter this journey of recovery (from ED and so many other things), I'm starting to reconsider. As I stated in another post, I'm starting to believe that it behooves a person to have something they believe in and a community in which they can do it. So, after a slow process of rediscovery, I've really gotten interested in Buddhism and Unitarian Universalism. I'm hoping to learn more about both, because I think that they each have many aspects that go along with my (still) open-minded beliefs. After all, I may have changed my opinion on structured religion, but at the core, my feelings about spirituality have not changed.

[dramadiva]

I am catholic, and although neither of my parents practice, I do and I love my religion. I think it is beautiful that we give so much recognition to the Virgin Mary, especially that she is a woman. A lot of people do not like it, and I suppose it is a little bit of a strict religion. I also like praying to the saints. I think there is a lot of subtle beauty in it. I do not agree with everything that the church teaches, but I believe that God wants us to have our own opinions about things. I also love learning about different religions, organized or not. I would love to learn more about Juddism. Whatever you believe, practice, or decide, God always :love you!

[slcathena]

I :love this post!!! (prepare yourself, I wanna tell a bit 'o a story!) :winky

My parents are different faiths. My mother is Luthern, but aside from her Grandmother, no one in her family really practices anything. Religion is not really a topic of much discussion in my family. She married my father, who was raised by a very Catholic family, but who didn't really practice Catholicism. My brother and I were sent to a Catholic school, because it was the best school in town. I probably went to church ten times in the first seventeen years of my life. I was baptized, received my first communion, and confirmed within the Catholic Church, but didn't know anything about it.

When I was seventeen I began dating someone who was from a religion that is diametrically opposed to Catholicism. He wanted me to convert to his religion, however rather than simply agree I began reading every religious piece of literature that I could get my hands on!!! Eventually, through a series of events (that can either be viewed as little miracles, or strange coincidences, depending on your own beliefs) I became truly Catholic.

Amongst the many blessings I have received from Jesus one is particularly relevant to this forum. It is the moment that I realized that Jesus loves me no matter what, that my eating disorder does not keep me from Him, but admitting that as a weakness and a problem and requestion help draws me nearer to Him. I truly believe that was the moment that recovery even seemed achievable.

[Jali]

:hugon :fishy s :hugoff

For a long time I was Jewish (Orthodox) then I became anorexic. OK that's not a religion :cute, but it happened when I sort of drifted away from religion and was like a substitute.
The similarities were in the feeling of "protection", of keeping the world within manageable proportions that both offered.
OK, I digress.
Now that I am giving up anorexia, I don't really know what I believe. I like the idea of a community where I could belong, I almost CRAVE one, but I'm unsure about subscribing to anything wholesale.
One of the most peaceful, beautiful things I ever saw was a picture of a buddha, sitting cross-legged with his eyes closed, one hand relaxed and open on his lap, the other with a finger gently touching the ground. It was SO serene. Since then I've been on a quest to find such a statue (or picture) feeling that I would just look at it and all my worries and concerns would melt away. (I couldn't keep the picture cos it was in a library book...)

:love
Jali

[danastha]

I am a woman of faith in God. I use the Christian tradition in its Lutheran expression as my primary symbolic language of spirituality. I believe the deep truth of St. Paul's words that "faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

"Faith" for me is deeply personal and deeply communal, both intra- and inter-personal. "Faith" is ultimately about life and death. "Faith" is a gift given and received; the trusting of a choice for life to be made for me when I am unable to affirm it for myself.

"God" is "life-force," creative and energizing, renewing, reforming, transforming. "God" is be-ing; verb; ongoing, active presence of life-force. The Godly be-ing-ness is pervasive througout the universe, and beyond. The Godly be-ing-ness transcends human categories of space and time. God is. Being is. Life is. "Being-with" is Love.

I honor Godly be-ing-ness through the practice of Christianity. I believe that Godly be-ing-ness was and is manifest in a particular way in the human/being Jesus. The stories and symbols about him, and in relation to creation and re-creation, are the stories and symbols passed down to me to give context, shape and meaning to my solitary being. They are what I know best. The stories and symbols, like Jesus himself, are bearers of godly being; means of grace--Word and Sacraments. In the living of life, truth and transcendence meet me and find me, though my experience is of "finding" them.

"Hope" is a concrete expression of faith; an attitude; stance; an embracing of Godly be-ing, of Being-With and Being-For. "Hope" is an embracing of life, all forms, all expressions.

"Love" is concrete expression, person to person incarnation of God-with-us; you and me. Thou and I.

"So faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

[Mimi]

I was loosely raised as a Presbyterian. I say loosely because I did not go to Sunday school and we did not go to church every week. BUt I was baptized and confirmed and had Christian beliefs and morals.

I have always been quite interested in Judaism and Catholicism. I in the process of converting to Catholicism (the whole RCIA thing). I had been attending classes every week, but now my fiance and I are moving so I have to find a new parish and take the rest of the classes.

I do not absolutely agree with all of the Catholic beliefs, but as with any religion that is what makes us questioning humans. It's nature!! Spiritual beliefs are special and unique to everyone, and I have such a respect for that!

I also want to add that I totally agree w/ Dramadiva about the homage paid to the Virgin Mary and the saints. I love it, but most people do not understand. I know my family is a little confused as to why I want to become Catholic!

[E]

I don't believe in God... I guess I would call myself a secular humanist. I have very strong ideas about my own values, morals, etc, but I do not connect them to any "higher power". I do believe that there is such thing as a universal, absolute "good", and that is what at least part of most of the major religions try to express. I was raised Episcopalian and dabbled in lots of other stuff... but basically, I realized that no matter how much I tried and wanted to be a "true believer", I just wasn't, and won't be. I think that our actions are more important than any beliefs we profess.

:love
e

[urbanfaerie]

:hugon:bowl:hugoff

Ok, so I am a mish mash of things. Rather than saying I'm religious, I say I am spiritual. I have been told I am a :starsLightBringer:stars. This makes me feel warm and fuzzy, like the good energy I put out there makes others happy and lighten their load.

I was raised United Methodist, but a very open minded mother and a fairly conservative father. I attended church EVERY Sunday with rare exceptions and enjoyed it until Junior High. I went to Catholic School from K through Third due to the state of the schools in California...my folks thought I might convert...as that "cookie" really fascinated me.

My church had a very active youth program and Methodist Youth Fellowship was so fun. But the faith part of me died one afternoon in the church basement and I wondered how God could let that happen in his house. I still payed "lip service" to it all, as I was not strong enough to state my beliefs.

So I began to do a lot of research. I read everything I could get my hands on about spirituality and other religions.

After a many ups and downs and periods of latent spirituality, I find myself identifying with a lot of Pagan beliefs. I have friends who are VERY gung ho on the whole thing. Altars, outfits and the whole nine yards. I participate most often in Wiccan ceremonies, as the individuality of the religion is what appeals to me. That and, "Do what you will, an harm none."

I guess that's where I don't fit. It's funny, my Mom says that when I was very little, and we were waiting for my sister to come, I would sit in Mom's lap and VERY seriously say, "You know we need to tell God we only want a sister. Tell HER we only want a sister." I was convinced that God was a woman at THREE AND A HALF!

So, what am I excactly? I talked with Chris (my ex, who for a messed up guy knows a lot about a lot)about this, and for some odd reason, we mesh on a LOT of things. So I know I'm not nuts...well, not ready for the white coats yet.

:stars I believe that the universe was created by a benevolent sentient force.
:stars It exists and changes and grows.
:stars I believe that this is not the first time I have been here.
:stars I believe that when my physical form no longer lives, that my soul will return to continue learning lessons in the next life.
:stars When "I" have learned all that is needed, I will go to a place that is created out of infinite good. Call it Nirvana, Heaven, The Elysian Fields...I just know it's a good place.
:stars I believe that there are spirits and forces in nature...all around us. I "discovered" this in High School at church camp and realized that I felt MOST connected to God when I was outdoors. Or helping people. I guess I found faith in a soup kitchen, up to my elbows in grease.
:stars I believe that "God" cares more about your good works and intentions than if you are in church.
:stars If you live a good life with best intentions, you will "go to a good place", either moving forward or finally reaching the "final" good place.
:stars Hmmm...I interpret God as neuter...but for my purposes and comfort, I call her lady. It just seemed natural to me, a creator, giving birth.
:stars I read a LOT of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's teachings.

:stars Karma...totally believe in it. You get back what you give...further mangle two or three religious conventions...I think you get it back three fold.

:stars I talk to the moon:moon when I am troubled. The moon is my representation of the Lady. I keep a simple altar as well. But nothing ornate at all.

Of late, I have yelled at the moon. Picture :fairy standing in the middle of the road, stranded by her car(for four hours) and saying, "HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS DO YOU THINK I CAN TAKE!!!?!?! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! LET ME LEARN THIS LESSON AND STOP SLAMMING ME!"
I seriously REALLY did this back in June. The locksmith working on my car laughed...in a good way, and KARMA CREDIT...said it was "No Charge."

Soooo...this :fishy has a very :worldGLOBAL:world view on religion.

Is it possible that all religions worship different aspects of the same sentient force? I happen to think so...and that we all should stop fighting wars over something that is supposed to be enlighening and bring good.

Blessed Be,
:love
Heather

[luby]

I was brought to Sunday School when I was little, but my parents never had anything really to do with my spiritual life. I've pretty much been going to Sunday School and church since I was five years old and now I am almost seventeen. This year I get to teach preschoolers..*yay* I've always believed in God and everything but never really got into my religion until the summer of ninety-nine I guess. I've went to a Christian camp since I was six years old and thats where most of my understanding of God has came from. Last summer my counselors really helped me and ever since then I have been a "Jesus Freak" and trying to get my friends into it and stuff. I've managed to get my best friend to really believe and understand and my sister is getting into it as well. One of my closest friends is my pastors daughter which is awesome. I've got one more year to get the rest of my friends at school into God and stuff before we all go our separate ways in life. They need Him to survive, and I want to be the one to show them Him!!

[Shan-marie]

I was brought up in a Christian home, attended a Baptist church, and thought i was a Christian, but I had never really trusted God with my life, my fears, my hopes etc. I knew that I was missing something, being around other Christians made me feel uncomfortable. So I decided to go my own way because what I thought was Christianity wasn't giving me what I needed.


To cut a long story short, by the end of last year I had become deeply unhappy with my life, I always had been unhappy, suffering from an ED and abusing alchohol. By the end of last year I was suffering from depression. I had finally realised that all of these things I had been hanging onto could never give me what I wanted. I finally surrendered everything to God, something I had never done before, I let go of the drinking/partying lifestyle and looked to God to provide me with what I was looking for. And he so has! It really has been amazing, now I know what Christians were talking about when they spoke of a relationship with God.

Right now God is everything to me, my rock, my saviour, he has dealt with my past through Jesus, and is taking care of my present and future. I have to admit, without him I wouldnt be here.

[RunningAway]

I was raised Christian but I'm now starting to question my beliefs and trying to decide if my religious family has contributed to my struggling with anorexia. They are very strict and live by rigid rules when it comes to morals and their religious beliefs and I dont' know if that made my ed worse.
any thoughts on this fishy's?

Chloe

[butterflymom]

My religious upbrining included:
:snowman atttending church sporadically
:snowman four years of Catholic school (big mistake!)
:snowman Two years of Quaker school
:snowman Married in the Catholic church
Through all of this, I wavered between feeling nothing and distaste for organized religion. I definitely did not believe in God. Four and a half years ago my grandfather died. He is the first person close to me to ever die and I loved him dearly (still do). I began to sense this enormous void inside of myself and felt like I had to find some way to keep him in my life. Thus began the most wonderful journey of my life - a return to spirituality. Since opening my mind and heart to the existence of God I have experienced so many wonderful things. I belong to a Methodist church, but read and study many theories. I consider myself more spiritual than religious. I still question a lot of stuff, and refuse to believe anything because someone else says it is so, it has to feel right for me. I believe in God, but am pretty leary of traditional portrayals. I tend to lean more toward the idea of God as a divine higher power. I believe in the existence of Jesus, but that is about all for now. I believe that the bible is a wonderful story book that is meant to be more of a reference book to living life. Phew - that's the most I've ever said on that subject! One thing I do know is that once I accepted the existence of God in my life, things turned around almost right away! :peace

[fimbriae]

i am an atheist. i was raised by an agnostic mother who is quite against organised religion. i went to an anglican school, and the hypocrisy i encountered there strengthened my atheism.

take care.

:love, emma

[SFishy]

bumping this up so newer fishys can share...

<HR>

Just so everyone can get to know each other a little more...

Without commenting on anyone elses beliefs, what are your own spiritual beliefs and practices? Were you raised that way or did you "decide" on your religious convictions as an adult? What comfort or benefit do you get out of your own spiritual beliefs?

Take care of YOU

[noemi]

What are your own spiritual beliefs and practices? Were you raised that way or did you "decide" on your religious convictions as an adult? What comfort or benefit do you get out of your own spiritual beliefs?

i am a muslim. the word muslim means submitter, and that's all that i take it to mean, i submit to God alone. i pray five times a day at the designated times, do ablution, try to meditate on His name as often as i can remember. i believe in heaven and hell, in only one God, and i try to be a righteous person. i try to avoid letting anything become more important than my submission to Him (ed thoughts, school, friends, money, etc.) because for me it would be idolizing those things, which is an unforgivable sin to me.
i wasn't raised in islam. i wasn't raised in any religion, except maybe satanism. no one ever told me to believe a certain way or practice certain 'rituals'. the only thing instilled in me was that i was basically and innately evil and satanic.
having faith in God and the Hereafter is something that i know to be true without a doubt, for me. that gives me immense comfort, strength, and peace of mind. knowing that i have a goal to work towards, knowing that God will judge me when i die, knowing that i have a goal loftier than this world helps me to be more righteous and scrupulous. it also comforts me to know that there is a higher power in this disheveled world of mine. it is something to aspire to and more importantly something to atone for. it gives me purpose. i have the purpose of atoning for what i've done...and that is what i think for myself.

[UMBetsy]

i am a Christian and was raised so since birth. my relationship with God strengthens and wanes....and i'm afraid right now i seem to be floundering a bit. i'm not having doubts about my beliefs....i just find myself not as devoted as i once was.

as laura said, i hate feeling so separated from something that was once so important to me.

Christianity and my relationship with God provide me with a great deal of peace and comfort. i know that even when i am in the depths of depression that God is with me. i know that if i look to Him for comfort, He will be there. if i ask Him for His blessing, i know He will grant it.

i haven't been doing those things lately, though...i have not been turning to God when i need Him. i have not been attending church the way i used to. and while i know being religious isn't all about attending church, i do think it is an important part of my faith. while i know God's presence can be felt everywhere, there is something just so moving about being in a sanctuary and knowing you are in "God's house." i feel His presence so deeply when i am in church...as if He is in the air all around me.

anyway...this forum has sparked a desire in me to attempt to strengthen my relationship with God. i miss that closeness i used to have...i want to have that back.

i am currently a Methodist, but i'm interested in becoming Episcopalian, as i love the ritual and tradition of their worship services.

so that's me.:cute

:love,
:flowerbetsy:flower

[Sasha]

My parents basically decided to let me choose my own faith as i grew up (as they were raised in ways they didn't believe).

I was educated in the English high school system to most of the mainstream religions and I didn't feel that any fitted me so i chose Atheism.

It wasn't until I came to Australia that I really heard about Wicca and I read up about it and something felt right - the harmony with nature etc. I have been Wiccan in belief for some time however now I am beginning to recover I am finding that I am able to be Wiccan in practice and finally getting to the stage where i feel I can get to ritual and maybe even one day learn to work magic :happy

I believe in reincarnation and that every life we live is designed to teach us a lesson and we either keep coming back to learn the same lesson if we don't learn it this tiome or we will move on and learn a new one. I believe we don't move straight from life to life but often spend time as spirits to help other spirits will in incarnation and it's to this etheric level that I seem to be most drawn to. There's something very special and magickal about it to me.

As for Wiccan aspects I also believe both the female and the male aspects of the deity - as with human life, surely spiritual life needs balance and harmony and I believe it requires both sides of the deity to achieve that.

Only two people in my life are actually comfortable with my choice of belief system, my friend & her boss (who is Wiccan) though my dad IS coming around :grin

[arance]

i was raised as a christian (catholic) but some things never felt ok with that. so i discovered the buddhism when i was ********...
and since that have been a mixture w buddhism and acatholism. i go to churrch sometimes to feel the peace and relax but its not how the standard catholism should be. i feel the energy of the hundreds of years of that church, and the power of all the people that have been ever there praying. i get the energy...
but i feel better if i go alone for a dy to the sea. i look on the horizon and meditate. it feels good, i feel more in peace and stronger. now i live in acity that is far from the sea so i miss that a lot.
in recent years i ahve met many many buddhists - many are statistically catholics as i am. i am curious to try meditation with a group, when i will find a group where i live.
i veeeeery rarely talk about my beliefs - that means neither my parents ot ex know what i believe in. there is something which simply feels better in the buddhism semplicity. ... so if my friends would try to analyse me as how i act (ehehe, apart from the eds) they could easily categorise me as a buddhist thinker.

it would be nice to have a monts's question about our beliefs. theorically i think most would fall to christian something but practically... who knows :)

peace for all... however you want to call the internal peace

[littlegreyraincard]

I am a Pagan.
I love my Faith.
My beliefs are quite simple however.
I know I am not the only one in the world that believes one thing or another.
Everyone believes they are right in what they believe.
Who's was given the right to judge them and say they're right or wrong? None of us are worthy of doing that.
So we all need to listen, and have an open mind about what someone else feels.
I expect them to respect me, and therefore I believe in giving them complete respect as well.
Listening to what someone else believes is the best way to learn things, ask questions, and don't be judgemental.
They are who they are, and you will still be you even after you leave.
I believe in respect, and having an open mind.
:love Rainy

[horslover]

To make a long story short... was raised a Buddhist/Taoist, converted to Christianity quite blindly! Didn't go church/do good works at first & i'm thankful for that. Because, *no intention to offend*, i disliked the churchy behaviour of some church-goers. Turned out to be a blessing in disguise 'cos my long-term isolation with Him established deep intimacy. Gotta get right with Him before i could help others.

Was isolated, deeply depressed, burnt out & suicidal. Nearly attempted suicide. Spent all day everyday alone talking & reading with Jesus. Slowly & steadily learnt to put Him first above everything, still doubted His existence a lot though, but still clung to Him (fear of hell). Prayed for Him to tell me whether He was real(so scared at that time, thought i was finished!). After some time bondage of rage broken(i was full of rage 'cos of abuse & ed), then revealed Himself(eight months after conversion i think), so never doubted His existence anymore.

Prayed for a good church & was led to a great church holding miracle services, was then healed of physical & emotional infirmity several months later, so no more ed. No more chains, sweet Jesus set me free.

baptist, presbyterian, whatever... not even familier with the names! These names exist 'cos some like solemn worshhip, some prefer dynamic worship, whatever.. i just believe in Jesus... luv the "Man"!

[horslover]

:hugon UMBetsy :hugoff i think ur going thru' "wilderness" or "white funeral", pple feel dry at these times. the times when one feels one is farthest from God are usually the times one is closest to Him. It's easy to cling to Him during "high" times, but harder during "low" times. It's great that despite not feeling Him or despite feeling so low, u still hope & believe, that's faith!

:hugon RunningAway :hugoff The strict lifestyle ur parents imposed on u could've caused emotional hurts. I think they might've brought u up not the way God wanted them to... anyway, i hope u won't turn away 'cos men have flaws & ur parents could've set an incorrect example. Say, i've had my share of bad experiences with Christians (though it's not as bad as what u had to go thru' with ur family all ur life), but i don't hold God responsible for what men did. (not saying that was ur intention but u might've done that unconciously) Seperate men from God. Hope that helped, do persevere.

[shandara]

This is a beautiful topic thanks to whomever I'm new again to this board. although I was on many moons ago, I stopped coming for this very reason. Who was I and where did I belong? I like many of you was raised to believe whatever I chose as long as it was something that worked for me and it didnot involve satinism. My dad was raised Roman Catholic but the church turned their back on him when his dad died when my dad was only sixteen and his mom was pregnant. So needless to say this wasnt a religion that was practiced in my house. My mom was raised a Jehovahs Witness. She never belived in this and as soon as she was old enought to move out and choose her own life she did. As you can see tere was never an importance on religion placed upon me and I realy believe tat is why I encountered the situations (or lack of dealing with the situation) as i have. The situations would have happened anyway but I think had I somewhere to turn?????? Dont get me wrong my parents were/ar GREAT!!!! Im one o the lucky ones. But still something was missing.
A fe yearsago te Pagan religion of Wicca found me. I say it found be because I was the one thaat was lost. It worked for me. I feel I have become a better person haaving found an inner peace I am noe comfortable in my own skin I am a better parent lover friend(allthough my spelling skills are still lacking). I have a direction ad someone to talk to in any situation. My ssisster wholeheartedly disagrees wiith me she says she is praying for my soul. My reply to her is that in her belief her God is all forgiving. So if I am "wrong" and sshe is "right" wont her God forgive me and accept me as I have lived my life honestly for myself? Stumped her on that one. anyway I say if it works for you and makes you a better person then its right because isnt that the ultimate goal in life?

[Isabel_Knight]

My family were originally Christian, and I was actually christened Church of England, although both my parents would probably describe themselves as agnostics.

Both the schools I went to (in London) were fairly multi-faith, although neither had any particular religious ethos. I decided around the start of my teens though, that I was an aesthesist, and have remained that way (I'm now almost twenty).

Isabel :pinkfishy

[Vanna]

Hmm. Very interesting replies.

Now me. . .:cheesy.
I was raised by an agnostic mother and a "social" Lutheran father (by social I mean, just goes to church to keep up appearances). I never felt close to God in my years of sporadic church attendance but I did learn a lot about the Bible. **BTW** My father is now a pagan. Life is so strange. :muhaha Anyway, I studied Wicca and Paganism for a few years, so much of it fit with me, but I still felt that something was lacking. One day I picked up my Bible and began to read again, everything just clicked. I now believe in the Trinity (Father, Son , Holy Spirit). I believe that God gave us His Son to die on the cross for our sins and that through Jesus Christ we can find Salvation. I realized that I did not have to give up my deep love and appreciation for nature within the Christian religion. God made this planet, so of course we can feel Him in everything around us. I still feel more comfortable and closer to God sitting outside by the lake or under a tree in the woods than I do in church. I enjoy the study part of church (learning the bible) but I struggle with the social aspects. I am NOT a social person but I feel that it is important to attend church regularly. My son, who is very social, loves Sunday School. But I feel that anywhere I am, I am loved and protected by The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit.

:love,
Grace

[Celeste]

I am a baptized and confirmed Catholic. My parents were devout (indeed my father left the seminary one year shy of ordainment) until I was thirteen years old, when my mother had a spiritual crisis and stopped attending church. I have no idea what precipitated it-- it could have been going on for a long time before it became apparent. I do not know. My father carried on with his faith and took my sisters and I to Mass every week and on holy days. At the age of fifteen I became anorexic and at about the same time fell away from Catholicism. I carried on attending Mass most Sundays but felt nothing inside, though I groped around for something desperately. I would listen to the readings and the gospel about how much God and Jesus love us and I would just sit there with tears welling in my eyes because I could not believe that God could love me. Later on I became angry at God because I felt if he loved me he would not send me these crosses (depression, anorexia) and stopped going to Mass. Then I decided I wasn't sure there was a God and began to identify myself as an agnostic.

I wish I could believe. I enjoy the ritual and pageantry of Mass, the ceremony and music, the praying to Our Lady and the saints. But I feel I have lost my faith, and I don't know what to do about that.

:love
Celeste

[arance]

i was raised as a catoholic.

but since i was eleven i found out buddhism was more 'me'.

and reasently - .. i still discover i am partly catholic and partly buddhist. it is difficult to cahnge eg the way to think... eg about sexuality. the catholic part seems to be a big brake on that way :(