i am bipolar... how about you?

[kat eyes]

:stars :hugon :bowl :hugoff :stars
all those freky mood swings I've had lately? My therapist is almost positive I am bipolar.
I'm not :sad or :mad about it. I mean maybe thats the answer, the "why" i am so weird.
I see it as something positive.
Finally an answer!
about two months ago he already had told me he thought I could be bipolar.... so maybe after two months I have accepted the idea.
are you bipolar too?
do you know any possitve alternatives to change a mood swing?
Sometimes I wake up so depressed, wanting to hurt myself, and crying all ficking day. Then something really tiny and positive happens and bam :boom I am all happy and bouncy again.
are you that way to?

[Kornie]

:hugon jo :hugoff

yup, i am... i actually just wrote about my depression on my webpage...
but yeah. bipolar... it's chemical... what CAN you do? i'll be going on some other meds soon to try and stable me out (though i'm partially scared of that actually...)

but, so, yes, bipolar, can relate - email me if you need to talk about it or anything, and we're always checking out this board...

wish we could be of more help.
:love you

[rahula]

hey kat,
yeah i am bipolar as well. it is a shitty shitty illness if left untreated, but i am lucky enough to have docs that know what they are doing, know me well and are willing to deal with all my shit.
i am on a ton of meds (it feels like to me)...namely, lithium, and lithium in itself is a bitch. i hate the side effects but unfortunately it keeps me functional, so i have to weight the pros and cons.
you cannot be "officially" diagnosed w/ bipolar disorder until you have experienced your first manic or hypomanic episode. so, yeah, when i was at renfrew, my docs thought i was bipolar and told me to read "an unquiet mind" (which if you haven't read, you should do so!)...and i think for a few years i had had some hypomanic episodes but it wasn't until **** months later that i had my full blown manic episode.
if you ever want to talk, or ask questions i'm more than willing to listen...

good luck and take care,
rahula:)

[lauras achilles]

Just to add to what rahula said... yeah to meet the criteria for bp you have to have had your first manic or hypomanic episode... dunno.. you should discuss it with your T more if you are thinking about it a lot... also to me sounds like maybe cyclothermic pd. (alternating between low/dreary mood to being optimistic/cheerful.. mood changing a lot).. i dunno..just a suggestion.. i just think you should really talk with your T some more about it as it seems like it has been on your mind a lot.
Take care!

[Kornie]

Jo,
Have you experienced a manic period before??
Just out of curiousity... I guess.
And I'm pretty sure that you'll know if you have... LOL... oh dear, my when I'm manic. lol...

:love you

[kat eyes]

[center] :hugon :bowl :hugoff
Thanks everyone for your replies.
I still don't know if I am bipolar, I was supposed to have T today but he cancelled so I won't have therapy until next friday.
Anyways he has to see my psicological tests to see if I am bipolar.
I haven't had a manic episode, I go from really happy to really sad, but I can't really say my happiness is related to being manic...
anyways I'll let everyone know what I have once my Therapist studies those tests :supergrin
take care everyone

[rahula]

okay, let me just say one thing-->

although bipolar disorder can at times be GLAMORIZED as being the disorder of the artists and genius, etc., etc...

YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE BIPOLAR.

i know it is easy to 'learn tricks of the trade' and anyone can make themselves manic, but trust me it is NOT WORTH IT!!
side effects suck. lithium sucks! if yu want me to list the shitty factors of having this illness, just let me know!!

i'm not trying to be a bitch, just trying to forwarn. it sounds like if anything you are cyclothymic.
take care.
good luck,
r:)

[kat eyes]

rahula:
I never said i WANTED to be bipolar.
I just want to know what I have, and that way get the correct treatment.
My T said it was a possibility but he isn't sure

[rahula]

oh, kat, i didn't mean it that way at all!!!!! i don't even know how to explain what i am trying to say, it is more like, you know how people (society) tends to glamourize anorexia? and people who are struggling with their life think (not consciously, of course)...hey, that is a good way to manifest my pain..and become anorexic. not that it is that easy, but it is like if you try dawdling in it, it is so easy to get sucked in entirely and lose complete control. bipolar is sorta similar. it seems 'cool' to be manic and get lots of stuff done and not sleep and just be a major spaz, but it sucks you in in the same way anorexia does and you lose control.
i'm just saying to be aware of yourself, try to express your pain directly and not through the e.d. or the bipolar. and i know most of the time no one has a choice in the matter, but it is also true that sometimes diagnoses are thrown around too easily, and once you are 'labeled' it is like you are stuck with it.
sometimes i don't feel like i am bipolar, but since everyone is so convinced no matter what i do now, they feel even stronger that i am bipolar. maybe i am in denial, but what if i'm not? i don't want to take lithium my entire life. i am a spaz in general, why can't i be natural and not have to be medicated?
this blitz doesn't make sense i'm sure, and maybe i shuldn't have said anything and maybe i am just speaking to myself more than anyone, but whatever.
i'm sorry for rambling.
good night.
r:)

[JessaBeth]

Heya Folks,

I was mis-diagnosed as being bi-polar, along with aplethora of other mental illness's
(it seems that's the way it goes, eh ?)
My manic episdoes are *FEW* and *FAR* between, but . . . I can relate. . .

My doctor is talking about putting me on Lithium,
Anyone have experiences ?

[rahula]

ugh. lithium.
so i have an exam in **** hours, but i figured it was vitally important to reply NOW...In other words, i LOVE procrastination.
first i have a question for you..if you were misdiagnosed as being bipolar why is your doc putting you on lithium? and if you are not bipolar why are you having manic episodes?? are you just manic and not depressed??
to be honest, i think lithium sucks. and luckily i am not as affected by it as some. luckily they give it in controlled release form so it is not so hard on the stomach...but it can still make you nauseous and it makes me REALLY dehydrated, which sucks b/c i am an athlete. it also makes my hands tremble so i can't cut in a straight line and my handwriting has gotten noticebly worse. hang on, i think my puter might crash so i am going to post this and continue in the next post..

[rahula]

okay, back. miss me?! hehehe...
sorry, my puter just notified me that my netscape was running out of memory and don't you HATE typing a long reply and then losing everything? grrrr..
so anyway..a big side effect of lithium is weight gain. people bitch about it alllll the time. even non eders. personally, this doesn't bother me. b/c i think it is all in your head. just like how the pill causes weight gain? if you believe you are hungrier, you will be hungrier. if you convince yourself you are not hungry, you aren't. us peeps with e.d.s have too fucked up a hunger mechanism that only our minds can control our hunger if we don't allow ourselves to trust our body. so i have not gained tons of weight being on lithium. in fact, in the beginning, relapsed into my anorexia..if that prooves anything.

the only drug i would caution you with in terms of weight gain is ZYPREXA. yuck! try to stear clear!!

i dunno what else. i must say that although the side effects do suck, i suppose they are better than living a life in total, complete chaos. lithium has allowed me to be much more functional, STABLE, even tempered, more productive (b/c although you are hyperproductive during hypomania, you counteract that productivity in the depression) and happier b/c i am now able to live a balanced life..

your call.
good luck. let me know if you have any more ?'s, and if i have an exam coming up, i'll answer them!!:)
take care,
rahula:)

[Eliz]

Hi there.

I don't know you or your symptoms, but some of this conversation has surrounded the topic of treating bipolar disorder with lithium, so I wanted to share my two cents.

Another option besides lithium is Depakote. It is often used now instead of lithium. The side effects are less severe, and the toxic level is further off of the therapeutic level so it can be easier to manage regarding blood levels of valproic acid. This would be something obviously decided by your doctor but if you wanted to bring it up to discuss with him/her, I think it is something to consider. I had my first manic episode in November after many hypomanic episodes and was finally put on appropriate meds: Depakote, Klonopin, and Zyprexa. We are tapering off the Zyprexa, as my thinking is less convoluted and finicky now.

I wish you luck in figuring yourself out: try to take things as they come and not worry too much in advance of the diagnosis.

Best,
Liz

[rahula]

yep, i agree with liz....there are other meds out there. there have been some great results with depakote, but i was unfortunately allergic to it. also i am on lamictal which is a promising new treatment for bipolar. i also tried neurontin which has minimal side effects and has helped a lot of peeps but did nothing for me. so lithium was in fact my last resort.
good luck!
rabula:)

[bluebellcat]

Ive been diagnosed for ******** years but didnt accept the diagnosis until I got really sick **** years ago. Ive had many major depressive and manic episodes and Ive also had mixed state episodes-the deadliest-you experience both mania and depression at the same time.Like others have said, there are tests you can take to determine if you are bp. There are also many different forms of the illness,bp****,bp****,cyclothymia and schizoaffective disorder. If you want to do some research go to internet mental health web site, and Dr. ivan's depression central. There is some good info and some self-tests. I know alot about the illness and if i can help you let me know.
chris

[bassmaster]

This goes out to Rahula, or any one else who knows my unhappiness and pain and euphoria. You are very wise, and I need you to figure some things out. Do you ever get crazed about certain things? What I mean is that at first you have an innocent little interest in something, (for example Johann Sebastian Bach) that becomes a full-blown insanity then you hate the interest you loved so obsessively only to become deeply depressed, only to do this over and over again with a different interest? I go thru this **** to **** times a year. Some folks say it's mania. I had Bach-mania. I've had Frymaster-mania. I've had countless manias. I used to only get crazes once or twice a year as a teen. Now I'm in my late twenties and I get 'em ****x a year! This year I already got crazed with the Captain Hook - pirates - goin' to sea thing. The only captain I like now is Morgan. A month later after being depressed about losing my relationship with a man I had for **** years on and off ******** times. I got crazed with the philosophy - I'm not BiPolar; I'm Boil Rap - Lithium sucks - Nirvana - I hate shrinks thing. Now as of this very instant I am scared 'cos I have to see a shrink. My mom, with whom I live again, is making me see a "Head Doctor," as she calls 'em. I call 'em witch doctors. I don't sleep much now, and I'm gonna take over the world with my music. I love my bass guitar. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! :yay