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View Full Version : The ******** year old virgin......


kappybooik
04-30-2012, 03:41 AM
Okie dokie, I'm just going to lay it all out on the line here:

I have been a COE since before puberty reared its ugly head. I have struggled with it for a very long time. I NEVER thought I was good enough for a romantic relationship and as we all know, you can certainly find confirmation for your beliefs if you look enough.

I went to an all girls private high school, stayed home for college and went right into work after college and because of my Compulsive Overeating and morbid obesity that's associated with it, I have just now come to the understanding that the idea that a man would find me attractive as I am right now is just like asking me to walk on the moon. I'm now ******** years old and doing well in my recovery and looking forward to achieving a more normal body weight that will allow me to get my knees replaced and then begin a more active independent life.

It's so strange because I've always felt like there's this WHOLE in me because I've never had a significant romantic relationship as I slide towards being ******** yrs old. I feel like I've lost my chance to have kids and that even if I were totally normal sized, it still might not be good enough for me.

Does anyone have a similar experience? How have you gotten around it, over or through it? I'm seeing a great counselor,we just haven't peeled that layer of the onion away quite yet.

Thanks in advance for your constructive comments and time!

divadoll
04-30-2012, 04:46 PM
I'm almost the same. I also went to a all girls hs and commuted to college. Currently I'm in my thirties. I didn't have a boyfriend until my twenties who gave me my first long kiss. I'm a semi. - virgin because of sn incident of sec abuse which happened once.

Don't worry! There's a guy out there for you.

DD

Bastet
05-02-2012, 10:38 AM
I understand how you feel. I have the same problems because of my Asperger's and my last boyfriend dumped me for it (although he was no prize anyway). I will tell you this though
****.Having a man does not complete you. Only having faith in yourself and believing in yourself and finding your own identity will. Trying to find your identity in a man is dangerous and trust me, a recipe for abuse
****. Being single is far better than being in a bad/abusive relationship. Trust me on this one

Don't worry, there's someone out there who will love and accept you for who you are. You just haven't found him yet. In the meantime I would try to focus on recovery(if you haven't already) and trying to find your niche in this world. I believe we're all here for a reason, we just have to discover what that reason is. Good luck on your journey!