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View Full Version : Hubby seems opposed to IOP...


DreamsInBlack&White
03-27-2012, 05:33 PM
I'm seriously considering talking to my T about IOP when I see her next week. I'm struggling more than I'd like to be, and I think I need something more than what I'm currently getting to get my feet underneath me and get some momentum towards recovery. But my hubby seems pretty opposed or resistant to the idea. I'm not sure how to convince him that it might be helpful? He basically thinks I should wait and see if my T ever insists on it, I think?

axi
03-27-2012, 06:46 PM
This might be a good time to practice using your voice. Has your h said why he is resistant to it?

DreamsInBlack&White
03-27-2012, 08:04 PM
axi, he hasn't specifically said I *can't* do it or anything like that, he has just said he doesn't want me to get an assessment done until I talk to my T about it next week, and I got the impression that, if she doesn't really think I strictly *need* IOP, he won't want me to do it. I'm sort of feeling like I'd like to have the assessment done either way, just so I know where I stand if we do decide to move forward with it. I think the main thing for him is that it will take time, and require him to step up at home more, or require us to lean on his parents more for childcare, if it's during hours he's at work. It's the inconvenience aspect of it that I think he is concerned about. (We have an almost-ten-year-old daughter who doesn't stay home alone yet.)

bellydancer
03-27-2012, 08:42 PM
I think, first, you need to talk to your husband to clarify what his feelings actually are. If childcare will be an issue, you shouldn't let that keep you from getting IOP help, but it might alleviate any concerns he has if you can start working on the childcare piece early.

Meanwhile, if you feel like you could/should get an IOP assessment, I don't see how that's a bad idea. If you need IOP, the assessment will be done and if you don't need it, then I don't see the harm. Do you feel that IOP would b warranted/helpful?

DreamsInBlack&White
03-27-2012, 08:58 PM
bellydancer, I think it probably would be helpful. Right now, I'm just really feeling like I can't get my feet underneath me with recovery. I'm restricting to avoid b/p (my T knows this), but that means I'm still losing weight, and my BMI keeps creeping lower and lower. He even said I'm starting to look scary to him. I promised my family (parents and sister) when I saw them at Christmas that I would gain a certain amount by the end of January. Not only did I not maintain that gain, I'm lower now than ever. :( I feel like I need a fork in the road (so to speak...) and some better tools to know exactly what to do next. I just feel really lost and overwhelmed with the very idea of recovery, which makes me want to b/p, and I know that when I feel full I have even more trouble not b/p, so I'm restricting to alleviate that, but I feel like I should be doing something else... I just don't know what that is... Yeah, I feel like IOP might be helpful, at least for a short period of time, to get some momentum in the right direction... I can get a referral for an assessment through my insurance, so I'm thinking I'd like to move forward with that, but he really wants me to wait. :(

DreamsInBlack&White
03-28-2012, 03:10 PM
So, I went ahead and contacted one of the places I'd be interested in doing IOP, and we're trying to figure out if my insurance will cover anything at that facility. If not, I think I will ask my insurance to go ahead and refer me for an assessment at the place I know they will cover. My husband may just have to be upset if it comes to that. But hopefully it won't.

DreamsInBlack&White
03-31-2012, 12:04 AM
Well, that was a major switch... Tonight, my husband started asking me about IP and whether or not our insurance would cover it. He seemed to think skipping right over IOP and going straight to IP was a good idea...

bellydancer
03-31-2012, 08:03 AM
Hi missab,

I'm glad that you've taken steps to look into IOP and that you husband is appearing to be more supportive. Sometimes people surprise us.

nothingxtragic
04-07-2012, 07:24 PM
I wish you the best of luck in the process of getting into IOP! I'm so glad to hear that he is being supportive. Please keep us posted on how things are going.

DreamsInBlack&White
04-08-2012, 06:44 PM
Thanks bd and nxt! I went in for an assessment for IOP and was referred to partial hospitalization instead. My husband has actually come to think that php is a good idea and is doing his very best to be supportive. I'm scheduled to start php a week from tomorrow, if everything works out with my insurance. I'm pretty freaked out about it to be honest, but at least it's not full IP, so that's a good thing...

nothingxtragic
04-09-2012, 09:12 PM
Well I hope that your insurance works with the treatment. I was very freaked out / scared before I went into IP and IOP but I actually made a lot of connections with people in there and some life long friends. I hope that the experience, helps you and gets you the help you need!