View Full Version : Text Messages

03-17-2012, 03:42 PM
My boyfriend is not a very emotive texter -- and he is this way with Internet chatting, too. Sometimes it makes me feel very bad. I know that I am probably being over-sensitive; for example:

BF: "I work from five to ten, so not too terrible"
ME:"Hahaha, aw, that's not bad at all! Aw, I hope that it goes quickly and that you get off early! I miss you"

I felt really bad when he didn't reply. Should I? Is this some indicator of something bad?

03-17-2012, 05:07 PM
Hi Flor,

I think a more important indicator is how he acts when he's actually with you. Some people just don't use those means of communication to be emotive. When I text, I'm usually using it for brief, insignificant messages. A reminder that we're out of dog food, or letting someone know that I got table at the restaurant, etc. He might look at it the same way.

03-17-2012, 06:06 PM
Agree with bellydancer. I know plenty of people, including myself whom are brief texters. For me its because i dont really enjoy texting, i find it a nuisance..and some of my replies may appear snappy or bitchy, but really that is not what in effect i am trying to relay.
What is he like when you are together? Where are you at in terms of real-life communications?

03-17-2012, 08:08 PM
Hi Flor, I'm the same way, I'm an emotive texter and get my feelings hurt if the other person is not. It sounds like the others in this thread are placing another perspective to it, so it's not something to take personally.

Yet I hear you, it bothers me too :)

03-17-2012, 09:10 PM
I don't read that text as needing a reply. I personally reply always but most guys may not reply or a good bulk of them. If I want a reply I never say I hope you are having a good day-that is wishy washy and instead say are you have a good day?
Edit: Okay I see the issue that he did not respond miss you too. I can see how that might be hurtful but it is not a deal breaker. If it hurts you then you could talk about it. It is an easy communication issue to fix. He may just read the compliment and feel good and not think he needs to reply.

03-17-2012, 11:08 PM
I have also found that with many men that unless I ask a direct question, they don't reply over text.

03-18-2012, 04:12 AM
Someone has to end the texting at some point... otherwise people would keep texting continuously! it sounds as though your bf is comfortable in not having to always reply - he doesn't see texting as a 'conversation' whereas it sounds as though you do - and would like the texting to imitate face to face or voice conversation where it's back and forth until someone properly ends the conversation.

It seems to come down to the different ways you use these forms of communication. He sees it as a means for short messages - you see it as just another way to have a conversation.

Nothing wrong with either view - it's just that you aren't going to get the replies you are expecting - and he's going stop responding at some point because he doesn't feel comfortable doing the conversation thing over text or internet chatting. So it's important that you don't feel rejected by him and important that he knows you aren't trying to keep tabs on him. It's just you use these mediums differently.


03-18-2012, 09:41 PM
thank you so much guys!
Gah, we really communicate well when we are together, and it's tough because it is a long distance relationship unless he is visiting me or I'm visiting him -- but everything is actually really good. I am very thankful for him!
I think that in the future I will just remember that text messages aren't a conversation type thing to him.