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View Full Version : To tell or not to tell?


-gingerlee
03-11-2012, 03:58 AM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month. We don't live near each other so he hasn't picked up on any behaviors. I think he knows I have a poor body image ( because he is always complimenting me and I find the compliments hard to accept ) but he hasn't said anything. He is so wonderful and we've been really great together so far. We talk a lot.

Pros of telling him :
-- I feel like I'm being dishonest.
-- Perhaps it'll just be worse if I wait to tell him? I don't want him to think that I don't trust him.

Cons:
-- I have told one person in my real life. I REALLy do not like talking about, or even using the words "Eating" and "Disorder" in the same sentence.
-- I don't know what to say. All I can think of saying is, "I struggle with disordered eating."
-- When to bring it up? We don't see each other as often as I'd like... and I don't want to cast a cloud over a nice night \ day.
-- I feel like my ED is not life-threating ( or even 'health-threatening'). I've never been officially diagnosed.

What are you guys thoughts on this?

bellydancer
03-11-2012, 12:48 PM
All I can think of saying is, "I struggle with disordered eating."

What's wrong with this? I think this states it perfectly.

When to bring it up? We don't see each other as often as I'd like... and I don't want to cast a cloud over a nice night \ day.

Part of being in a relationship is that partners support each other through times that are difficult. Is this someone that you envision having a relationship with or someone that you just want to date for a little while, have a little fun and leave it at that? I would say if you're looking for this to be a long-term relationship, then it's best to tell the other person.

I feel like my ED is not life-threating ( or even 'health-threatening'). I've never been officially diagnosed.

You might be maintaining your health reasonably well right now, but you can't know how long this is going to last. Having an ED is basically like living on borrowed time. You don't Not having an official diagnosis doesn't make it less real.