View Full Version : sex???

03-04-2012, 02:03 AM
:philSo I guess this where I'd post this but not ************% sure so here it goes.
When my bf and I are having sex sober I can not feel anything stimulating. I was on a depressant and it made this problem worse so I weaned myself off of them. I couldn't have an orgasm if I tried and sex just feels awful....like I can't stand being touched or held. I have zero sex drive.
But when I smoke a joint its unreal. Its the most incredible feeling I've ever incountered.Every sensory is heightened so much. Everything feels good and tastes amazing.
The thing is I don't want to have to smoke a joint to enjoy sex. I mean I like to have the occasional puff but don't want it to come to me having to smoke to get relaxed and in the mood every time we do it.
Any ideas on why I feel like this?????? Is there anyone that has the same problem?

03-04-2012, 03:51 AM
I don't have this issue, but I would suggest talking with your doctor. The fact that marijuana alleviates it would suggest that it's a chemical issue and there may be something a doctor could do to help. I'd also suggest looking up sexual anhedonia.

03-04-2012, 08:58 PM
Thanks so much for posting response..... I thought I was losing my mind. I hardly enjoy anything anymore. I am seeing the dr in a few weeks and I am going to ask if there's something I can do to help with these issues.

03-04-2012, 11:07 PM
Nah, you're not losing your mind lol. It's great to be able to talk about things: when you keep them in, they get built up so big and then you think they are insurmountable. That's usually not reality, though. There's almost always a solution.
So the issue is more than just sexual? You're having a hard time enjoying other things, too? You can look up anhedonia, then. It can happen with more than just your sexual urges.

03-05-2012, 11:07 AM
Like axi said, I think it's best if you talk with your doctor about it. I don't smoke marijuana, but I do take anxiety medication, and it "loosens me up". It's definitely helped me be less self-conscious.

Also, do you feel sex is amazing every single time you smoke? Or is it something you only feel at times? Because maybe your sexual urges are not not as high as you expect them to be. And it is okay if you are like that: the constant exposure we receive of extremely sexual individuals in the media does not apply to everyone, and there is nothing to be ashamed of if you don't enjoy sex as much as others.

Hope this helps :happy

03-06-2012, 12:54 AM
I feel you on this one. For the last few months i simply had sex to comply with my partner, no feeling, no stimulation. I have been on anti-depressants for nearly eight years and i definatly think this may play into it all. But at the end of the day i would rather be stable and have average sex, then be crazy and have great sex.

03-10-2012, 02:58 AM
Just a thought - but the joint reduces your inhibitions and you are calm and relaxed so you are able to enjoy yourself more.

When you are sober, so to speak you are more conscious of yourself. I'm not sure of your eating disorder, because you didn't comment- but are you possibly thinking about how you look, feel and how your partner may think of any possible lump or bump you perceive you may have ? If that is the case it would be natural to be unable to relax and unable to relax to the point to be able to reach orgasm.

The fact that you know you can have an orgasm is good because at least you know there is most likely no medical basis behind it and most likely something psychological based. Also depending on how long it's been since you weaned off your depressant could it be residual effects ?

Also - who instigates the sex ? You actually don't have to answer the question to me - but think about it. I mean if you are not in the mood - then you simply are not in the mood and you need a lot more foreplay to get you there, and sometimes it just doesn't happen. And you don't have to orgasm every time you have sex.