View Full Version : How to help a friend with an ED

02-29-2012, 11:45 PM
One of my really good friends opened up to me more than I've ever heard him open up before tonight - basically he talked about how he feels really negatively about his weight (he is probably classified as obese) and wants to get surgery. About how he eats when he's depressed, and wants to find a girlfriend and thinks his weight's the only thing holding him back. And then he confessed that he's made himself throw up a few times.

He'd never told me anything like this before - usually he comes off as a very happy, optimistic, extroverted person - so I didn't totally expect it, but I was glad he felt comfortable enough to share it. He didn't know about my ED either, so I told him about it and how far I've come with it and I hope that he feels at least a little less alone.

I guess - what's the best way to help a friend that has an ED when you are in recovery from an ED yourself? I've never really been in this position.

03-01-2012, 05:40 AM
Good friends are special people to me and I can be
supportive but I cant fix or save them but I can let
them know that I care about them very much and
if they need to talk then I am there for them.

I can suggest some options that they can consider
but I cant push them.

I cant however allow them to bring me down or to
trigger me so I need healthy boundaries.

My recovery has to come first.

god bless.

03-01-2012, 05:49 AM
Suggest some professionals he can contact or some organisations that might be helpful. YOu could also provide websites with information. I wouldn't get much more involved than that..you probably shouldn't try to help him beyond guiding him to people that know how to help him

If you had been recovered for five years plus i would probably give you different advice but if you are in still working thru recovery i don't think you are in a stable enough place to deal with all it might entail

Iced gem
03-01-2012, 06:22 AM

A good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with anorexia. I did NOT see that one coming. Anyways she is clearly in a lot of denial and thinks she can fix it herself etc etc etc.

I gave her a lot of information that I have taken years gathering about treatment in my country. I told her to come to sf. I told her where I go and who I see and where I'd go if I had more money etc etc.

I'm not sure she did any of what I advised but she did speak to the uni counsellor and said she wouldn't if I hadn't pushed it.

But I agree with Ral, u can't get too involved when you're unwell yourself. It's not fair on either of you!

So give him info but take a step back. You can support him while make boundaries.

Good luck!