PDA

View Full Version : When did you say I love you?


pantherr
01-30-2012, 12:01 AM
Just out of curiousity. :lubdub

I've been dating my boyfriend for five months. When we first went out, I liked him but I didn't really expect it to go anywhere...I've never had someone like me back as much as he did, and I was scared since I have issues with letting people in - but I've never felt so trusting of another person. With him, I can just be me and he thinks that everything about me is beautiful. I'm not a touchy-feely kind of person, but honestly I could spend all day just physically being near him and I'd be perfectly content.

Sheesh, I'm turning into a lovey-dovey mushy girly-girl. :girly (Maybe not a bad thing?)

Over the past few weeks I really have been feeling increasingly attached to him. I love him. Ahhh that's so scary to say. He's so, so kind and generous and loving towards me, and I just know he's one of the rare, genuinely good people in the world. Luckily, I think he loves me back. But I'm not going to say it first.

So, when did you and your (ex?) significant-other say the three little words?

bethanymay
01-30-2012, 07:06 AM
Ah man this is funny because everyone always asks me this and I think I'm an exception! I took a ridiculous risk but lucikly for me it paid off aha. Me and my boyfriend had been 'seeing' each other for just over a month before we got together and a couple of weeks after we became official my grandfather was rushed into hospital. He'd already had a stroke previously and the whole family just knew this was it :( anyway my boyfriend was amazing - he drove two hours to get over to me when I just needed a hug and when I came back from my hometown after my grandfather had passed I was greeted with some really personal gifts which was so sweet! Anyway it had only been a month by this stage and we were out with all our friends on a bar crawl (with t-shirts and pens) and half-way through the night I wrote 'I love you' on his shirt! Luckily for me he mouthed it back to me straight away - phewft! I've always said to him though that I think it was the circumstances that made feelings develop so quickly. But hey two years later we're still together and I love him more every day :)

However, I don't see the problem in saying it first if you feel it. I don't get why it always has to be the guy that says it. I have a few friends who've said it first and their boyfriends thought it was awesome haha. But anyways, I think it's something that's just different to every single person so just go with how you feel and don't worry about anyone else :)

BrokenSoul
01-30-2012, 07:48 AM
:hugon Pantherr :hugoff

For me, it was about three months into me and him dating. Our relationship and feelings moved much quickly due to us being older in age and wanting to settle down, knowing what we want, being exclusive pretty much from first date, and lots of health concerns on his part and crisis as a result. So I was already amazed and falling so deeply in love with this man who treated me like no one had ever. He helped heal my heart and soul in so many ways so that I could get to a point where I love myself more. So I'd been feeling those love feelings but didn't imagine he could feel "that" yet you know. I knew he cared deeply but love I wasn't sure. One night we were sleeping over at my place. In middle of night, he woke up abruptly, said " __ I love you". Me stunned, half asleep, didn't believe what was said, was "what did you say". He just held me, and went back to sleep. So needless to say I was confused if I heard it right. So i thought about it and then realized that if he said it in his sleep, he must at least feel that way subconsciously lol. So next day to bring it up, I somehow brought up that "I think you said I love you but not sure and it's weird cause I was thinking that way too". He told me then that he does love me. Now fast forward a few months later, still going strong and he tells me he was afraid to tell me but it came out of his system lol.

If you feel it...tell him. Doesn't have to be a guy always :)

:love
BrokenSoul

pantherr
01-30-2012, 05:01 PM
Awww I love your stories!!! Thanks so much for sharing them. And I'm glad you both have such wonderful guys in your life :]

The funny thing is that I'm really shy and, like I mentioned, afraid of intimacy in a lot of ways, but with my bf I totally made the first move. I just thought, what the heck, I'll find a way to contact him and ask him out (I already had a feeling that he liked me, but he was waiting too frikking long to get on board). If you want something done right....

Anyway, I feel like because of that I want to give him a chance to make the first move on this. Maybe that's silly? But I just want it to happen that way. Luckily for him, valentine's day is coming up so he's gotta get the ball rolling or maybe I will take the leap. Hehe. Thanks for the encouragement!

twiggyyay
02-03-2012, 01:58 PM
I'm that kind of girl that gets drunk and tells everyone close to her "I luhh ya!". Yep. No, seriously now, I think my current boyfriend was the first one. I can't remember the first time - shame - but it definitely happened quite early. He's always very quick with those words and throws them at each of his girlfriends, though. I do take it serious nowadays because we've known each other for a while. He's big with emotions so I think it's true. Or, I guess, if he didn't love me he wouldn't still be with me, someone so effed up :cheesy

Fairytales
02-03-2012, 02:18 PM
My ex said it straight away but it took me two years to say it back! Sigh.

My current bf said it really offhandedly, we were kissing and he goes 'mmm love you', and I was like... 'errr.. what did you just say?' and he said 'I love you', and I said it back. That was the moment I realised that he has real trouble expressing his emotions!

shrimpy
02-05-2012, 10:44 AM
I think it varies enormously from couple to couple. I have been dating my current boyfriend for six months and we have not said those words yet. I have also dated people who have declared their love very quickly, and to be honest, that tends to freak me out! :ummm I think in this relationship we are both happy with giving each other space and not making the other partner feel pressured. Having sadi that, I AM in love with this guy and really want to hear him say the words. I haven't got the courage to be the first to say them..:ugh.

I wonder what we'll both do for Valentine's day??

:gimmehug Shrimps

meggierenee
02-07-2012, 01:36 AM
I said "I love you" to my husband after only a month of dating. I truly felt it and now we've been married for two years. :)

If you feel it, say it. :)

Alethea
02-07-2012, 07:23 AM
Aww this is so lovely to read these stories and I am so pleased that you sound so happy!

My boyfriend and I had been together around three months when we said it - we were on holiday with friends and went for a walk on the beach at night and told each other. I was like you in that I knew for a while that I loved him, before I said it, and I waited for him to say it first.

I think take a risk and allow yourself to feel what you feel, don't try to resist it or be afraid of it, because honestly it is a really special thing to have had the experience of loving someone and allowing yourself to do that and allowing them to love you back.

It is a risk but it is a good risk!

iliketoprocrastinate
02-07-2012, 07:31 AM
Awww everyone stop it, you have the cutest stories!

My boyfriend told me he loved me a month into our relationship, through Gtalk. When he said it, what I said was: "Oh my god. Um. I think it's best if you call me." Haha! But really, he called me immediately after and said he had been holding back and had been feeling like that for some days by then. And of course, I told him I loved him back :happy

ESmithGirl
02-11-2012, 08:00 PM
Hey Pantherr,

I always felt like you on this subject; I never wanted to be the one to say it first! And I never had to either, because I never felt like saying "I love you" as quickly as my exes did. A combination of factors kept me from being the first to make that declaration in the past: a) I repeatedly picked guys that I on some level knew weren't right for me (e.g. this guy's really cool/funny/hot/talented/whatever; I'll just overlook the fact he's an asshole), and b) I had an irrational fear of being labeled clingy or crazy, because somehow it's always the female in the relationship that gets saddled with that label. I wanted to seem cool and aloof and etc. etc., because somehow that makes you a more desirable girl.
It's all a bunch of bullshit. I wish I could go back and slap myself in the face for wasting so much time.
In my current relationship, things have been different. After my first date with my boyfriend I almost didn't say yes to a second date because I was so taken aback by how he acted on our first date. He was open and genuine and kind, and very candid about how much he liked me. He wasn't at all the kind of hard-to-get boy I was used to chasing. But I did see him again - and again, and again, and we spent every night together, and moved in together, and five months later I was madly in love with this kid living in my apartment, and he was driving me crazy because he wouldn't freaking spit out the sentence that was on the tip of my tongue every day, even though from the start he'd made his feelings for me clear. And I kept shoving the sentiment deep down because I didn't want to be seen as crazy/clingy/insert whatever negative trait commonly applied to girlfriends here, even though he gave me no reason to think that he would hold any such opinions of me.
In the end I had to say screw it to whatever weird sense of pride was holding me back because I had to let him know (and I'd never felt that before!), and one night as we were falling asleep I said, "I love you," almost hoping he was asleep so he wouldn't hear. He just halfway opened his eyes and blinked and said, "I love you too" like it was old news, like he'd said it a thousand times, like it was understood.
So, it turned out all that anxiety was for nothing. Thinking about afterwards, I realized that I was glad I was able to say it first, because if he hadn't responded positively, at least I would've known where I stood with him; if I was the only one who perceived that deep of a connection between us, I was going to have to step back and look at the situation more closely.
Anyway, that was a really long ramble. Sorry! I guess the bottom line is that I can totally relate to your fear of saying "I love you,", and I hope you can overcome that fear too. Being honest about how you feel (maybe not when you're pissed off and want to call him a jerk, but you know...) is key in all aspects of a relationship.
Good luck! :)

pantherr
02-11-2012, 08:54 PM
I love reading these stories!! So sweet. If he doesn't say it on Valentine's day I might have to just do it.
ES - OMG that sounds just like him and me!!! Except we don't live together...but the part about how he made his feelings clear from the start and I was too afraid of being seen like that (or maybe of the fact that I actually felt them back). I'm still kind of bad at expressing it. So maybe he doesn't want to say it because he's worried I won't say it back. I hope that's not the case. I'm seeing him tonight so maybe I can *try* to make it a little clearer how much I like him.

shrimpy
02-12-2012, 06:50 AM
I took the plunge and said it this morning... well not exactly "said" but we went out for breakfast and we were both playing with our cell phones whilst we waited, so I skyped it to him from across the table... just "I love you:)" and he sent one back saying "U too"...... then we looked at each other and just grinned.

I feel like I could say the words out loud now too.... but that might have to wait a few days.

:lubdubShrimps

pantherr
02-12-2012, 10:50 PM
fdjslfds Shrimps!!! Way to go!!!!!! :] that's so exciting. And adorable.

I slept over at my bf's last night and we talked for a second about how we've been dating for almost six months. O.o time flies when you're having fun. He STILL didn't say it. So honestly valentine's day is the day. One of is us gonna cave.