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View Full Version : Anxiety about BF's possible job transfer...very scared


beautifulallthetime
01-23-2012, 09:06 AM
I am having some anxiety and I need a reality check. My BF, who is also my future spouse-- we have already had that conversation, offered a job transfer three months before we met. He turned it down as he was in a good spot in his company as well as personal life.The transfer opp is still open to him. When he shared this info I just listened. I did not ask any what if and scenario questions. My fear is that he will decide down the road to take the transfer. I know I am entertaining anxiety and fear about something that has not even happened and that is a dangerous place for me. He would have another factor to consider-- our relationship. I am scared and find myself projecting way into the future.

When is it ok/appropriate to express my fears to him, if at all? He is much more in the moment. We have decided to keep communication open and intentional b/c both of our parents had crappy communication and we both do not want to repeat that. I think this is a timing thing. Is there a best time to bring this up, to express my concerns or fears IF he were to want to consider a transfer in the future. I know that anxiety has always plagued me in a way, but the difference is that now I have learned skills to deal with it. But I still feel it and am scared.

Any thoughts?

Hyzenthlay
01-23-2012, 02:28 PM
Talk to him, hon! I usually find that voicing worries or concerns to the relevant person as soon as possible is better that sitting on my worries and hoping they go away/that a 'right' time to discuss them comes up later. :gimmehug

beautifulallthetime
01-23-2012, 02:38 PM
Thank you! That was my original thought, but I want the timing to be right, esp since this is a rather new relationship. And he is out of town this week, so I want to be appropriate with when I speak with him.

sflathinker
01-23-2012, 03:02 PM
It's a new relationship but you've talked marriage? Whatever is going to happen will happen...but you can ask him if the transfer is something he is looking into so you get an idea if a. he wants to eventually move (because if he does and you don't, this could be a dealbreaker) or this could lead to.a discussion about goals and dreams.....which will bring you closer.

axi
01-24-2012, 07:09 PM
What are your fears about moving? Why does it make you so anxious?