View Full Version : How on earth do I deserve this?

01-22-2012, 10:22 AM
I've had a boyfriend since July last year. It's been a half year now, and I am amazed that he is still here for me.

He'll respect my boundaries when I need a bit of space, he encourages me to meet my MP, even when I don't want to, and is supportive for me when I have a bad day.

I don't know what I've done to deserve something this good. All I've done is cause my parents greif/stress, fallen further into my depression, and I feel so damn selfish to ask for anything at all...

What on earth have I done to deserve somebody so understanding and amazing to me?

01-22-2012, 11:23 AM
Because your boyfriend loves you for who you are, not for anything you've done or haven't done...as a person, he loves you for that.

It sounds like you've got a really awesome boyfriend! It's great that he's supportive of you, even through the tough stuff.

Why does it feel selfish to ask for anything?

01-22-2012, 05:25 PM
We aren't exactly easy going with money right now... So I hate asking for anything because I know the money could be used elsewhere in the house, than for me to get another yogurt or take another private lesson for trumpet.

01-22-2012, 11:49 PM
I have similar situation going on. Great boyfriend and I am amazed at how supportive, understanding, caring, respectful, appreciative, loving he is. We have had talks about our future and being we are both older in age, we are thinking seriously. We are from different backgrounds ethnically, culturally, religion, etc also and so now my family knows and it's a painful roller coaster with them. Even all that, he stands with me. And I just don't know....

What I do feel though is for myself I'm religious/spiritual. I know he is in my life for a reason. I learn a lot from him. I think he does from me as well. THe biggest thing for me is that God blessed me with him in my life. Now I could question it and say I don't deserve it and all that...but why would you question what God feels you deserve. Why question this man that God has put in your life for a reason? This man sees something in you that you can't for yourself. He gets something out of this relationship, whether you believe it or not. I hope with time you can allow yourself to feel deserving...


01-23-2012, 07:22 AM
Others can see how wonderful we truly are even
tho we are unable to see it ourselves.

In recovery I was able to see it for the very first
time and I know the day will come when you will
see it in yourself.

god bless.

01-23-2012, 05:15 PM
I hope that day comes soon, because I don't like feeling like I such an awesome guy is stuck on somebody not good enough.

01-23-2012, 07:46 PM
I know the feeling. I have a wonderful boyfriend and often feel guilty because I feel that I don't deserve him.

I look at everything I've done in life and all the ways I've messed up and wonder how on earth he can be with me and love me in spite of all that.

I really do believe that for a healthy relationship I need to respect and value myself as much as I respect and value him, but it's difficult. I have been working hard to believe that I am worth a good relationship and a good guy, but it's been a slow road. Thankfully, he is patient with me.

One thing that DOES help is I know that he deserves a good relationship and in order to be my best self for him, I need to learn to love myself. It's a small thing but it's something!

01-23-2012, 08:21 PM
I like the way you put that. I really try to be a good girlfriend, but sometimes I feel like no mater what I am not gonna be enough in the end. /:

01-23-2012, 08:55 PM

I'm so sorry you feel this way.
I just started a post too about how unworthy I feel of my friends. :sad

A friend of mine said something really cool about why it is that I am worthy...you could read it too :shy

I am in a relapse right now, and not a good place...but I have been in recovery and felt the freedom it brings. I know it is possible to get back to that freedom. I'm working on it.

Affirmations do help...even though it's really really hard at first. I begin with sticky notes, cuz it seems easier to read them than to say them, and build from there. Do you think you could try that?

Just really wanted to let you know you're not alone in this


01-24-2012, 04:37 PM
I am glad to know that I am not the only who feels like this (as bad as it sounds, being glad that other people have to feel crappy like this, it's nice to know this isn't something isolated to my recovery alone).

I will try the sticky notes. I only have a million or so Post-Its at my house. It will give me something to do with them.