View Full Version : Yay I asked a female acquaintance for a drink and and she said yes

01-14-2012, 09:38 PM
I have struggled with getting female friends, and I have a hard time reaching out as I fear rejection.

This one is going through a tough time, so I reach out to her and emailed her that we should go out for a drink sometime. She replied yes!

I'm so happy. I feel like I only have other moms to talk to and we rarely talk about things other than kids and our jobs.


01-14-2012, 11:05 PM
I'm glad the risk you took paid off. I hope you can go out and have a good time

01-15-2012, 01:01 AM
Thanks recoveryatlast! Yes it was tough, yet I'm looking forward to have a good time.

01-15-2012, 01:15 AM
Go you!! That is awesome!

01-15-2012, 10:54 AM
Good for you! Did you have a good time?

01-15-2012, 10:55 AM
"leap and the net shall appear"

good for you tennislady. have more faith in yourself and your ability to make female friends :love

01-15-2012, 11:11 AM
We made plans to go out next weekend, yet for now we're talking over email.

She belonged to my tennis club yet now goes to another gym.

It's just nice to communicate with a new female and enjoy the conversation. Also fills the hole of loneliness I have now.

I need to do this more at work. It seems that every female who sits around me is in a diet, yet for the New Year I will challenge myself to ask out for lunch the women I know who don't talk about dieting all the time.

01-15-2012, 11:12 AM
Well done TL!

escape needed
01-15-2012, 11:17 AM
I understand where you are coming from with the women and dieting thing. :yay for chosing to avoid that. Female friendships can be quite complex at times

01-15-2012, 12:42 PM
Yes I found that when I first accepted this job, returning to full time work, I was happy to be around women again outside of my tennis club.

Yet I was upset to see that the three women around me were on diets. Granted they were overweight and one of them is being monitored weekly by a dr., yet every time we go to lunch or I walk by they comment on my food or weight.

I feel afraid to reach out as the other women who don't talk about diets are so busy with families so they rush in the office and rush out for day care (as do I), yet I doubt a Friday lunch request would be too much to ask for. We've been having monthly group lunches too, and those have been fun.

escape needed
01-15-2012, 12:57 PM
I work in a school - large number of female teachers all currently eating diet food for lunch. I feel like everyone is currently obsessed by food. Its a little much. One women is giving me her daily weight loss detail which makes me feel uncomfortable beyond belief

That being said there are some female friendships I've got which are amazingly supportive - where weight is not discussed much. And those relationships are amazing.

01-15-2012, 01:02 PM
Hi escape needed,

That's interesting. You're right, we just need to find the women out there who aren't obsessed with dieting and form friendships where we can discuss items other than food. I just watch these group lunches, see who is obsessed with food and who isn't, and then reach out to those who aren't.

I just want to be able to reach out to a female when I feel lonely. The ones I know are so busy with children and work that I feel bad bothering them, which leads me to reach out to men, and that is harmful for me. I'm glad to hear that you have some supportive friendships! :)

escape needed
01-15-2012, 01:24 PM
There is nothing wrong with reaching out to females with families. A few of my friends are at the family stage of their life - and I value our friendships for what they are. The 'mum' identity of my friends isn't the only part of them. When they need support they can reach out to me, when I need support I can reach out to them. Some new mums find it difficult when their old friends don't seem as close to them when the life situation changes

The dieting front is difficult because there are some lovely people out there who are doing this new years diet thing as their perfectly normal reaction for them - love the person not the dieter!!!

01-16-2012, 09:25 PM
Hi escape needed,

I agree. I see one mom every week, and I have two other friends who are moms who love to go out for dinner, to give them a break from being a stay at home mom.

BIG NEWS TODAY! Another former co-worker messaged me on Facebook and asked me out for dinner or lunch. I must have started a roll! Here I've been so down with the number of male texts that have dwindled to nothing, so at least I have something to look forward to!

01-16-2012, 09:43 PM
I couldn't imagine life without my girlfriends, they are instrumental in helping me laugh, cry, smile, pout...they have seen me through every heartbreak and every new love. They rationalize when I can't and they are the sisters I don't have. Some are drinking buddies, dinner partners, party dates..I've been to weddings, on vacations and even have seen one give birth. I would never replace female love with male attention. Yes, it's nice to be busy with dates, but even better to have girlfriends to share the experiences of your life with no matter what.

escape needed
01-17-2012, 01:42 AM
Thats excellent news. Its funny how these things always come around when you need it

01-17-2012, 03:56 AM
I'm a big believer in the idea that when you take a step, the universe helps take another one for you. I'm glad to hear you're going to get out twice. Let us know how it goes.

01-17-2012, 12:15 PM
Hi TennisLady,

I think you're doing awesome! I have a hard time making friendships outside of the ED community and with the female population as well. Kudos to you for taking steps to do that! Let us know how everything works out! :yay