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Rayneonthemoon
01-02-2012, 12:04 PM
How do you deal with Social anxiety? You'd never really know it, but I really do have quite a bit of social anxiety.

I am considering going to a local "meet up" next weekend, and it's stirring up my anxiety issues. One of my goals for this new year is to get intouch with my individuality and spirituality more (this meet-up is a spiritual in nature)

I could use some :challenge

Thanks!

DaffodilRun
01-02-2012, 01:10 PM
Hi Rayne,

I recently did almost the exact same thing you are talking about...I went to a meet up and was pretty anxious about it...and actually almost didn't go about six times before I decided to just push myself out the door :cheesy

Anyway, what helped me was sort of treating it like jobs I've had where I have had to interact with people. I've worked in the restaurant industry and I've worked as a preschool teacher...lots of interaction there. When I started treating it like it was my job, I felt less anxious and I was able to talk to people more relaxed. Once I got into conversations with them, I was able to just be myself.

Be aware, it might be hard to "get in" with an already formed meet up group because they have already formed their "cliques"...I kept an open mind, did not take things personally, and ended up having some nice conversations with one person who was a newer member of the group and a couple people who had been with the group for awhile. I hope this helps!!

:gimmehug

askinfaith
01-02-2012, 02:27 PM
Dear Jesika

I've been reading some threads and understand you are dealing with some difficult personal stuff right now so this spiritutual meet up sounds well-timed and i hope it is a blessing.

I understand your anxiety about meeting people but there are a few ways into conversation that I use when nervous: remarking on/asking about what's going on (e.g. asking people about the programme of activities) and asking people things about themselves (e.g. how are you enjoying this seminar, or whatever). Sometimes showing your own vulnerability gives people the chance to welcome you into their group (e.g. i'm here by myself and am feeling a bit lost, can i join you?).

I always try to remember that we're all human and that half of the people there will probably share your fears. You come over as such a lovely caring person - i am sure you will meet many likeminded people. Have fun.

sflathinker
01-02-2012, 02:32 PM
I love the meetups. And yes, perhaps the first time it seems like everyone is cliquey but by the second time they see you, it's likely you'll feel very welcome. Like anything else, some of those people are legit friends who only see each other at the event so they are excited to spend time together. When a new person comes, they won't be rude, but it's up to you to decide whether the group works for you, not the other way around. I recently joined a group and the first time, I felt a tad strange and almost didn't go back. But I really wasn't there to meet people, I was there to enjoy the activity. The second time I went with the attitude of "so what if no one talks to me" and lo and behold...I ended up talking with a few people and now when I go into the store, they know me and I feel very welcome. Most people feel awkward when they don't know anyone, but those who go somewhere alone are perceived as being brave and secure, so that's what they will see.

ducksquack
01-02-2012, 03:56 PM
You certainly dont come across here as being
that way.

This sounds like a positive adventure and I hope
you simply turn it over and let what happens happen.

Be yourself and enjoy it.

god bless.

Rayneonthemoon
01-03-2012, 09:22 AM
Thanks :fishy for your advice and feedback, it helped! I think I am gonna go to the meetup!

:gimmehug :gimmehug :gimmehug

mollyo
01-03-2012, 09:59 AM
Hi,
Seems like you've gotten great advice already, and are feeling good, but if you want to talk more...
How does your particular form of social anxiety manifest? What part makes you most anxious?

Btw, I've used the same trick of pretending it was for work, because I feel confident in work interactions and it went well