View Full Version : Starting to Feel Guilty

11-29-2011, 05:57 PM
Hi All,

I have recovered from my battle with anorexia for almost three years. I have educated myself on nutrition and sought therapy, and I especially turned to healing from a very emotionally abusive relationship (which was a major trigger for me) three years ago. Now, I am in love :lubdub and in a serious relationship of over a year and couldn't be happier! My boyfriend knows about my struggle with an ED and really hates the disease. His mother and sister have a history of it, and his mother used to use medication to encourage her eating behaviors. It is something that really hurt him growing up.

Thanksgiving was the straw that broke the camel's back for me and I have relapsed the last couple days :sad. I have been struggling with the ED voice in my head and after Thanksgiving, I gave in. I'm starting to feel really guilty, because if my boyfriend found out - he'd be so hurt. :sad We've been doing long distance (which hasn't been a problem by any means), but he's about to move back in a month and I'm afraid he's going to eventually find out that I'm like his mother. I've accepted my old habits and have also been using my prescription medication to encourage my eating disorder. (It reduces my appetite).

I'm convinced this is the perfect way to shed a few pounds, and I'll turn back to the healthy eating habits afterwards. I'm feeling even more guilty, because I want to do this for me, despite how my boyfriend would feel. :ummm

I need a hand, a hug, support, or advice. I'm sorry if I sound like an idiot (because that's how I feel right now), but ANYTHING will help when it comes from people who TRULY understand the battle. :gimmehug

11-29-2011, 06:26 PM
Hi Pure Faith,

I'm going to close this as we don't allow members to post the same thing on more than one board. I will leave your post on the anorexia board open.

double post