A tear drop in the ocean

[tiny_dancer]

I just want to warn you....this is just a little note of sadness, for today dance and music cannot sway my current mindset....

Today I stand against the world. And tears fall as I fight the thoughts swirling in my mind. Once upon a time I was partly happy...I was confortable and diligent with a strong friendship with ED...today I stand at the crossroads without happiness. ED cannot bring me bliss, yet the road to recovery only brings be sadness and confusion.

Stay strong. Wishing you much love and warmth.

tiny_dancer xoxo

[jayzer]

That's beautiful, yet so sad. I wish I had something to say. I'm sorry. You are not against the world though cuz we are all in this together. <****

[tiny_dancer]

Thanks jayzer. No words needed. I just needed to get it off my chest. How do you ask for a simple hug when you cannot say what is wrong?

stay strong hun.

xoxo

[Jennnifer]

What thoughts are swirling in your mind?

Why do you think you were "comfortable" and "diligent" and "partly happy" when you were engaging in self-destructive behaviors? Can you see how you couldn't possibly have been even "partly happy" when you were harming yourself on a regular basis?

:gimmehug

The road to recovery IS hard! There is no other way around it: learning to feel again and learning to allow ourselves to be angry, sad, hurt is challenging and rough at times, but also allows us to be able to feel happy, safe, joyful, peaceful as well.

Recovery is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. But what I learned along the way is that I am worth the effort.

:peace

[SarahMichelle]

If you keep on walking the road to recovery, you will find that it actually has happiness and joy in it as well.

[tiny_dancer]

I know. Im really sorry. Today it just seems all too hard. Im in tears and I dont even know why. Perhaps I shall send myself to bed and hopefully wake up tomorrow with a different outlook.

Wishing you bucket loads of sunshine

xoxo

[tiny_dancer]

argh *takes a deep breath*. insomnia...a vicious cycle.

[jayzer]

How do you ask for a simple hug when you cannot say what is wrong?



xoxo

:gimmehug:gimmehug I ask myself that same question. Lately I'll just go to my friend & hug her & she's learned not even to ask what is wrong because I won't be able to explain. That's ok to do. Just a hug is good therapy, I think. I hope you feel better today.

[towin]

(((((((((((((tiny_dancer)))))))))))))

[SavingHer]

Tiny_Dancer,

I have felt the way you have EXACTLY. It gets better.
Trust me, crying is uncomfortable as to face feelings and if it's confusing that can be worse but it can be a sign of healing. Stay strong for you are NOT alone. I am in this with you as I am recovering.

You are not alone...

Stay strong darling. *lots of hugs* (( ))

[tiny_dancer]

Thank you so much everyone. I am truely touched by all your messages. I have never felt so much support...you are all amazing and I am truely grateful. I can only wish you such warmth in return.

Today has been better :) By surrounding myself with music and your messages I have managed to get through my day in my room. Tomorrow I shall face the rest of the world.

I only hope that your days are happier, that the sun shines brighter and that every day you take a step closer to your goals.

With love and warmest wishes (HUGS) oxox

[flea]

:hugontiny_dancer:hugoff
Hey little aussie fishy, hang in there.Things will get better...:gimmehug
:gimmehug:gimmehug
Flea.

[xxxcirxxx]

:gimmehug:gimmehug:gimmehug

Awh hunny i feel the exact same way stuck between a rock and a hard place... im just taking baby steps i might not be making huge progress but at times like these just putting one foot in front of the next is all i can manage....

Are you feeling any better?

[tiny_dancer]

aw thanks aussie flea :) many a hug in return.

Thank you all so much, in all seriousness your simple responses have helped me get through the last couple of days.

xxxcirxxx im sorry to hear you feel the same way, but I am also so very happy and proud of the steps you are managing to take.

I am feeling better...in that the tears of passed and I got up and out of bed today. Im eating yet with every bite I hate myself more. Was meant to be going to a party tonight but put my costume on, took a look in the mirror, took my costume off and put my pjs back on...like you said...baby steps. Contacted a T here (as I am on exchange in a different country) but cannot get in for two weeks..at the same time thinking 'Im not sick cos Im eating'. But otherwise the sun is shining brighter :)

Sending all my love and energy and warmth and thanks to the wonderful fishies out there who have kept me swimming..

tiny_dancer xox

[xxxcirxxx]

Just take it day by day maybe get out in that lovely sunshine its raining here so make the most of it ha before you know it it will be time for that appointment. x x x

[trustmyself]

tiny_dancer
so many hugs to you keep fighting. Fear can engulf us and the fear of what recovery will be like can keep us stuck. I am glad you came here for support..take care of yourself ok?