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Felicity Reese
12-16-2001, 05:39 PM
:flake Dear Fishies:flake

:wand I am extremely emotionally attached to my teacher. He doesn't "teach" me right now, as in, I am not in any of his classes, however I used to be his student.

This guy, hes great :touched . He has known me for five years now and through every single issue I have had, he has listened, supported, given advice and given the best hugs. He knows of my eating disorder and has been .... incredible with helping, and listening and everything.

Things have gotten intense with him. I am in :love with him. He has told me that he loves me numerous times, that I am beautiful, gorgeous and that if he "was tweny years younger" he would pursue me. He has kissed my face but done nothing overtly sexual.

Recently, however, a rumour has been circulating around my school that I am the object of his affair. They say we're having an affair, but since Im single and he's married, its probably correct to say that I am his affair.

Its understandable. People see me with him all the time - a few people have seen him hug me. They all see the way I interact with him and I guess I make it obvious that I am sexually attracted to him.

I must say this: If he did approach me sexually - I wouldn't stop it. On the other hand - I wouldn't initiate it.

I am *EXTREMELY* attracted to this man. I think about him all the time. I crave his emotional support. I fanatasize about him and I must say I feel guilty because he is a married man, with children.

Its ackward. He's about twenty years my senior...

The rumours have gotten back to him...and he jokes about them "we are having an affair are we? Is it a good one?" and I laugh but deep inside...

I don't want his job to be threatened...he is a well liked man school over and the head of his department (which makes him even more attractive).


The best thing about him is....he makes me feel beautiful, attractive, wanted, .....loved. He accepts me totally. No one else seems to have such a relationship with him, such as I do and that makes me feel special...he's always so busy but he takes time for me...

I am just feeling guilty and confused.

Thanks for listening
:love Felicity

:canada :canada :canada

blink
12-16-2001, 07:16 PM
Felicity,
To be honest, I really don't think what I'm going to say will have ANY effect on you, but I am still going to tell you... that you are putting yourself in a position to be VERY VERY hurt and disillusioned. Right now, you're feeling excitement, exhiliration, the "sexual pull".... but regardless of how he treats you or how attractive you find him, he is married with children and this can only end BADLY.
I don't mean to be a wet towel, but if this continues in the direction it's going, you could very possible find yourself heart-broken and devastated.
This guy is WORKING IT. He is leading you on. Unfortunately, he's pushing all the right buttons. Please give this some thought... if you think you can. :love
Love to you,
blink

oceania
12-17-2001, 01:20 AM
I'm not sure at all what this guys intentions are, maybe he really is just trying to help. But it sounds like it would be best for you if you put some distance between yourself and him. It sounds like you really admire and respect him right now. Would you admire any man that would put his marriage and the happiness of his children in jeapordy by having an affair? It is not fair to put him in a position that would tempt him. It is not fair to him or to you because nothing good can come of this. Please realize that this is a terrible situation and one way you can change it is by giving yourself some space.

much :love
oceania

samm
12-17-2001, 11:12 AM
(((Felicity)))

Long time no talk (ahem).

Anyhoo ~ you know better than this, you are definitely playing fire. Number one he is your teacher, that right there in itself should tell you no no. Numer two, he's married. Imagine if YOU were his wife...how would YOU feel.

You are an EXTREMELY intelligent girl. You know what to do.

Muah! :kiss

:sun

Felicity Reese
12-18-2001, 09:46 AM
:hugon Blink :hugoff
:hugon Samm :hugoff
:hugon Oceania :hugoff

Blink: I...don't mind him pressing all the right buttons; thats the huge issue. I'm not running from him or drawing my boundry line...im just playing the game with him...

I know that how I feel is * W R O N G * , but I can't seem to stop feeling it.

I am obsessed :ugh with this man. Its not even like he good-looking or anything. But I think about him all the time. Litterally. If I don't see him, I start to feel lonely, depressed and dejected.

I know I can't have him; that hes not mine but I still, like I said, crave him. Its sick. It really is. I don't know what to do. I am trying to put space between himself and I, but it makes me so sad not to see him. He really brightens my day....Its hard.

:ugh I know I sound truely pathetic but...im still just really confused,

:love felicity


ps: Samm...I know long time...I miss you!

blink
12-18-2001, 06:40 PM
Dearest Felicity,
You are NOT pathetic. EVER.

Read these words please...
"If I don't see him, I start to feel lonely, depressed and dejected. "
Read those words over and over, and ask yourself whether this is its own addiction.
Which can lead to nothing but destruction.

Believe me, Felicity, I have felt the same way as you. I HAVE. And I'm sure many people in this world have. The pull seems unbearable. But it's compulsive. We have been there. I am only trying to make you see it from the other side... which would be: AFTERWARDS.
I understand the urgency and passion in your feelings, I really do. You're human.

So now I'll ask you to read these words:
Take care of yourself.
Love yourself.
Have faith in yourself.
Empower yourself.
Protect yourself.
Nurture yourself.
WATCH OUT FOR yourself.
WATCH OUT FOR yourself.
WATCH OUT FOR yourself.

You are worth nothing less than the highest and most noble love.
blink