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Spiritwindsix
03-15-2009, 05:32 AM
I am feeling very torn lately. Here there is so much fighting and bashing in the pagan community and I want no part in it. I don't want any chaos. I want the fighting people to just leave me alone.
I was very burned by a group last fall. So burned that I o.d.ed because I just was so lost without some of my former friends and felt like I just couldn't take it. My spirituality was shaken and lost also.
I've started connecting with some different people in the spiritual community and I am starting to feel better.
Except last night I got a nasty facebook email from one of those "former people" threatening me that I better not be talking about my experience or rather "telling lies" or else. That really shook me up.
I of course binged and slept for a couple of hours and now I am awake feeling all angsty. I just want to connect to my spirituality without chaos. I want to feel good, ethical, and like a whole person. I want those people from last year to leave me alone. Even though this is a decent size city the pagan community is somewhat small in that there are a few groups and it seems like lots of stupid fighting between some of them. This annoys me.
I want no part in the fighting. I am mostly a solitary witch but I like to attend rituals at the holidays and full moon. I like to connect with people and feel like I have a community of people who somewhat get me. That's probably left over from my church days but I don't really care.
I guess I am just venting. I was really scared tonight...I still am a little bit but I want to try and work through it in a healty way and stop the binging.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate the support here so much.
Take care.

BrownEyedRunner
03-16-2009, 09:39 PM
I'm sorry that you're scared right now! It's certainly not unreasonable for you to want to connect with people and feel like you have a community of people who get you... I think that's just being human. If the people you are in spiritual community with right now are treating you in such a way that it triggers you to use ED behaviors, then perhaps you need to look elsewhere in order to care for yourself. I don't know a whole lot about the pagan community, but I don't think it's okay for any group/community to make you feel scared or unsafe. Please put yourself in a place where you can care for yourself! You don't deserve nasty emails!

Spiritwindsix
03-18-2009, 11:02 AM
Thank you BrownEyedRunner.
take care

Hart
03-18-2009, 11:57 AM
(((Spiritwind)))

I too am sorry you are going thru this. I belong to a Unitarian Church and we have pagans. They are sweet, gentle people and it would pain me to see that. U might also check into a Unitarian Church and connect with other pagans there. Good luck hon.:gimmehug

vision
03-18-2009, 12:31 PM
:gimmehug :love :gimmehug :love :gimmehug