How to recover

[sickofitalready]

I am so so sick of this. I fear it will either kill me one day or keep me in a personal hell. Yet though I hate BN, the binges continue. Willpower is not enough to stop this. I have been in interpersonal therpay for a year with no change. How do I stop the binges and get in recovery?

[alittlefallofrain]

Welcome to the bowl, sweetie. :gimmehug I'm sorry you're struggling with an ED, but glad you're reaching out here. :bowl

Recovery is a day by day (sometimes minute by minute :ohboy) process. It is learning how to love yourself and cultivate the self-care you deserve. :love It is asking for the help you need and accepting that it is not a linear process at all (the EPITOME of "two steps forward, one step back!" :winky)...
:challenge If the interpersonal therapy you are doing is not the right fit for you, could you find another therapist? :ummm Sometimes it's all about personal chemistry... Could you look into contact a nutritionist too, maybe? Find whatever support you need (and only you can gauge exactly what that is... but I definitely think at least some sort of therapist is necessary for bulimia recovery :ican).

Take care of yourself, and good luck! :clover Keep us posted. :bluefishy

-- Colleen

[bellydancer]

Hi Sickofit,
Welcome! Rain is very spot on. And you are right that willpower alone is not what is needed. I think that in our society, we hear about willpower so much that it is assumed to be the solution to everything. But I think that creates a lot of black and white thinking.

In general, I would say the two key factors to recovery are working on the emotional issues at the root of the ED, and breaking the behavioral cycle. Sometimes one has to happen before the other can happen.

Have you told your therapist that you don't feel you're making progress? Sometimes if the person working with you knows that you need more than what they've been offering they can work to give you what you need. I'm not exactly sure what you mean by "Interpersonal therapy." Could you explain?

[abbybelle]

I agree... I feel like all this time I have been working on stopping the cycle. It would work for a while (sheer willpower), but I left the emotional reasons behind it untouched. My new T. is actually touching on some of that and it is helping me feel better. There is a reason you are doing this and you need to get to the root of it. Are you addressing these issues in therapy? I wish there were an easy answer, but I refuse to think that it's hopeless. I tried my way for so,so long and you can only be strong for so long. And even then, your mind is still so sick and twisted. I know for myself, I need to stop the binging and purging completely, but that I ALSO must deal with my underlying issues if I really want to get better! There is hope. We will get there one day.

[iambeautiful]

Hi honey! Welcome to the board!
:gimmehug:

Having a good Therapist makes recovery better, and it's not just about having the top therapist, a paid one to free therapy, no, it's about personal chemistry like rain said. ^^ :smile:
You see you are unlikely to apply what you are learning in therapy if you do not like the person who is telling you it. Plus you can't tell yourself you are failing at recovery! You have all the time in the world to get better. We always expect results from ourselves so quick, it can be damaging to ourselves.
Recovery isn't an ABC process, I can't give you instructions to how to start getting better,
but maybe try to take one step at a time, try to learn something for each week? Like maybe at first to realise who's talking whether it's you or your eating disorder?
Let me know how you are,
Hannah
xxx