farmgirl
06-25-2001, 11:57 PM
Okay, here's the thing. I am thinking about going to a pagan festival. I have never been to one, I've always been interested in attending, but never had the nerve. I really, really want to go, as a sort of retreat for myself. Hubby worries that if I go off by myself I'll get raped or eaten by a bear or something. So, I found out about this five-day festival, a camping event, in the forest, with plenty of people around. I would be able to join in the festivities if I want, but also go on hikes, journal, etc. I bring my own food, tent, etc., it's really inexpensive, and I think I can get the time off from work, no problem.
I am not affiliated with a specific earth religion, nor am I exclusive in any way. I am fine talking with people with all sorts of belief systems, and I guess I could sum up my own take on faith as 'many paths to one divine spirit'. Pagan beliefs, because they are so often related to nature, work well for me, but I don't think of them as 'the answer' - at least not for all people.
I think this would be good for me for a few reasons. I have never gone before because I was afraid. It's that whole 'I don't want to go this fat - I want to wait until I'm slim to start living' thing. I am not thin now, yet my desire to go is overriding my shame. I want to take beautiful broom skirts, awesome jewelry, hiking stuff and my journal, and just have an amazing time. I consider this growth. I have to confess another reason for wanting to go, though. The festival itself is a clothed affair, but there are parts of the grounds (including the lake) that are clothing optional. I have no intention of running around naked, but I know some people, my size, who do. It's not that I want to see their bodies in particular, but I think it would be healing for me to see people, my size, who don't give a rat's ass about keeping their skin covered. (As if wearing clothing fools everyone about my own body size!). Like I said, I don't plan to go and gawk at the nude people, but I think it would help me move forward to be in their presence.
I also want to go because there's a group of mead and beer brewers that goes every year. I make mead, (I tend a hive of honeybees) so I think I'd learn some stuff. I do lots of things that mesh with this whole scene - I make my own jewelry, I live on a farm and grow lots of my own food, I plant flowers everywhere, I sew - all these things that, for me, relate to 'earth religions'. There will be drumming, and I LOVE drumming. There will be nature, quiet time, primitive camping, and it is all a million miles away from what I do on a daily basis at work. I really, really want to go, but I see a couple of problems.
The first is mentioned above - do y'all think it's bad for me to go with other healing in mind, related to body image? I mean, it's a spiritual festival, so isn't healing a good thing? Would I be 'using' the participants? Second, my sweet, Asian, highly conservative husband is going to FREAK OUT when I tell him about this. It will be enough that it's a pagan festival. He knows that I read about pagan religions, he knows I visit some websites, and that I light a candle for healing from time to time. He sort of teases me about it all, calling me his 'little witchy', until I tell him that bothers me. As far as the festival is concerned, if he realizes that there may be nudity, I don't know what he will do. I know I sound like a little kid here, but I'm chicken to talk to him about it. Help!!
Any suggestions you have about this would be most appreciated. I feel like I'm going to go, but it still feels up in the air. . .
Thanks for reading.
-Laura, who now plans to go edit this post out of 'COE recovery', as not to cross-post.
I am not affiliated with a specific earth religion, nor am I exclusive in any way. I am fine talking with people with all sorts of belief systems, and I guess I could sum up my own take on faith as 'many paths to one divine spirit'. Pagan beliefs, because they are so often related to nature, work well for me, but I don't think of them as 'the answer' - at least not for all people.
I think this would be good for me for a few reasons. I have never gone before because I was afraid. It's that whole 'I don't want to go this fat - I want to wait until I'm slim to start living' thing. I am not thin now, yet my desire to go is overriding my shame. I want to take beautiful broom skirts, awesome jewelry, hiking stuff and my journal, and just have an amazing time. I consider this growth. I have to confess another reason for wanting to go, though. The festival itself is a clothed affair, but there are parts of the grounds (including the lake) that are clothing optional. I have no intention of running around naked, but I know some people, my size, who do. It's not that I want to see their bodies in particular, but I think it would be healing for me to see people, my size, who don't give a rat's ass about keeping their skin covered. (As if wearing clothing fools everyone about my own body size!). Like I said, I don't plan to go and gawk at the nude people, but I think it would help me move forward to be in their presence.
I also want to go because there's a group of mead and beer brewers that goes every year. I make mead, (I tend a hive of honeybees) so I think I'd learn some stuff. I do lots of things that mesh with this whole scene - I make my own jewelry, I live on a farm and grow lots of my own food, I plant flowers everywhere, I sew - all these things that, for me, relate to 'earth religions'. There will be drumming, and I LOVE drumming. There will be nature, quiet time, primitive camping, and it is all a million miles away from what I do on a daily basis at work. I really, really want to go, but I see a couple of problems.
The first is mentioned above - do y'all think it's bad for me to go with other healing in mind, related to body image? I mean, it's a spiritual festival, so isn't healing a good thing? Would I be 'using' the participants? Second, my sweet, Asian, highly conservative husband is going to FREAK OUT when I tell him about this. It will be enough that it's a pagan festival. He knows that I read about pagan religions, he knows I visit some websites, and that I light a candle for healing from time to time. He sort of teases me about it all, calling me his 'little witchy', until I tell him that bothers me. As far as the festival is concerned, if he realizes that there may be nudity, I don't know what he will do. I know I sound like a little kid here, but I'm chicken to talk to him about it. Help!!
Any suggestions you have about this would be most appreciated. I feel like I'm going to go, but it still feels up in the air. . .
Thanks for reading.
-Laura, who now plans to go edit this post out of 'COE recovery', as not to cross-post.